How To Overcome Corporate Stress & Choose Your Challenges with Pat Smith

In this episode, Lunden chats with High Performance Coach, NeuroChangeSolutions Consultant, and Holistic Nutritionist, Pat Smith, about wellness in the workplace. What is work-life balance? Can you actually choose something better for yourself? Join in on this discussion on the power of meditation and rewriting your story of success and happiness. Pat Smith has a deep desire to guide others in creating sustainable changes to reach peak performance in their personal and professional lives.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode:
0:00 Intro
2:45 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
6:33 Pursuing a Fulfilling Work-life Balance
19:25 Evolution Amidst Job Satisfaction's Tug
32:54 Balancing Enjoyment and Coping in Personal Growth
34:02 Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
45:53 Achieving Personal Growth and Balance

Connect with Pat:
@patsmithwellness
https://direct.me/patsmithwellness/

Pat's Online Course:
Office Optimization to Reduce Burnout
CODE PAT30 - 30% OFF 

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 2:26

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the Podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something-something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/ calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot com forward slash calendar. Go, get yours for free and enjoy this episode.

Lunden Souza: 4:33

Happy today and welcome back to Self Love and Sweat THE PODCAST and Self Love and Sweat radio. I'm really excited for our guest today. I actually always refer to you, Pat, as your your Instagram name, patsmithw ellness. I just have it in my brain, in my head. I'm like, oh yeah, today patsmithwellness is going to be on the podcast. But Pat is a high performance coach, neuro change solutions consultant and holistic nutritionists. His previous cells experience working for multiple fortune 1000 companies in the RV and marine industries gives him a unique perspective on the importance of bridging the gap between the performance and well being in the workplace. That has a deep desire to guide others and creating sustainable changes to reach peak performance in their personal and professional lives. Welcome to the show, Pat. Good to have you.

Pat Smith : 5:22

Thank you so much for having me. Appreciate it.

Lunden Souza: 5:26

I just want to start quickly with how we met. Pat and I are both involved in a community called NABA which, if you guys have listened to the podcast before, I've been talking a lot more about it recently which is a community that stands for Natural Art of Being Alive, and Pat and I both created courses one of the first people to create courses within this community and that's how Pat and I met. We met at the first NABA event. I don't even remember when it was, I guess April of last year.

Pat Smith : 5:54

I think I remember.

Lunden Souza: 5:56

Okay, yeah, I time what is time. You know, May we met and it was cool because you and I had connected on Instagram which is why pats mith wellness always comes to my mind. We've connected on Instagram met in real life, had an opportunity to meditate together on the pool deck up at that event we just kind of created a little group. I felt like we had so much in common in terms of our backgrounds in fitness, our passion for meditation, our passion for helping people live yeah, live a life where there is that balance and there is that integration of work and personal life and letting it all flow.

Lunden Souza: 6:33

But I remember you sharing on Instagram one time and maybe I got the details wrong, so feel free to fill in the blanks, but I kind of want to, yeah, start it here and I even read it in your bio really working with Fortune 1000 companies. You talk about being kind of at the peak of your career financially and doing all the things business wise and kind of having all of that set up. But you still didn't feel fulfilled or happy or content, right? And I think a lot of people listening probably have felt that way in their life one way or another. It's like sometimes we think, once this happens and I have this, then I'll feel this type of way. So what was that journey like for you?

Pat Smith : 7:13

Yeah, that was the most. I would say that was the most it was fear producing at one point, but it was also where I had the most growth opportunity for me to dive into, and so, from 23 till when I left my job at I guess I was 30, now I was just working my way up what would be considered the corporate ladder, starting off really making maybe like $40,000 when I first started to when I finally left, getting ready to potentially make a quarter of a million dollars, and the biggest thing, though, was every time I wanted more and more and more, but I noticed that my happiness level never really increased, which is what led me to figuring out, especially diving into meditation, understanding what is it that's leaving me unfulfilled, and knowing that it's nothing external is going to fix this internal void, if you will, and that's where the journey began of self- discovery on what is it that I'm actually passionate about and what limitations am I putting on myself to not be able to lean into that, and a lot of it came around beliefs, around money and what was possible and will I be able to make it out on my own and we'll be able to make that type of money, or at least survive with, without having this type of job. And thinking back even beyond, when I first started a full time job, I mean back at 16, I was still working. I worked in a factory when I was younger and just to get the idea of what it felt like for working. So from 16 till 30, I was conditioned to know that that was the only way for me to be able to live.

Pat Smith : 8:42

However, as we've seen in this day and age at least from what I see is that we can make money in so many different ways that putting a limitation on that has to be a certain way is a false belief, and that's for each of us to dive into on our own. However, that journey was just super interesting, because that's what led me to be where I'm at today. And the interesting thing was I finally put my two weeks in notice to finally go all in on everything that I wanted, literally the second day at the Dr. Joe retreat, which was huge for me. So I had this huge breakthrough and I needed to commit to myself. If I wasn't going to do it, then I was never going to be able to do it. So a lot of that fear was there, but that fear was just made up and once I lean into it there was so much more to come from that and so much growth to be had.

Lunden Souza: 9:38

So good. I love what you said fear inducing. It was very fear inducing in the beginning and you said it was about at age 30 that you decided to take the jump and take the leap and jump full force into even more of who you were becoming. Was there thinking about it now? Was there any part of you that knew that before you were 30 Did you hear a whisper or get an itch a little bit sooner, but the fear was too much. What was that block of time in your life of knowing, then the fear and then actually doing the thing?

Pat Smith : 10:16

Yeah, that was a whole. I think that was almost to full two years. I mean early on in 2020, I hired, which was surprising, but I had hired my first coach and one of the things he asked me was "how do you like your job? And he knew right away that when I stuttered or didn't hesitate and say I love my job, he knew there were some areas for me to dive into, to learn more about. And I had said that, hey, I have a side business this was at the time in 2020 doing nutrition coaching and I would love to make it full time, but I don't think it's realistic. And that's where the fear start to set in. I kept telling myself it's not realistic, it can't happen, I'll never be able to make this much money and I had the conditioning before all that.

Pat Smith : 10:58

So it took truly a full two years of me breaking through so many personal, interpersonal barriers that I had put up on my own and created this pressure and this essentially, as you said, fear and just unrealistic thinking that I had to break through in order for me to finally get the courage to take action.

Pat Smith : 11:22

And that, of course, meant lots of journaling and coaching and mentoring and meditation and writing out what I want and what I don't want, and sticking to my boundaries, and accumulation of all that is what led for me to finally be able to take that leap, which, that leap itself, was the scariest part. After that, you're just in it and so, just like anything, there was always challenges. There was challenges at my old job, there's still challenges in my business now. It's just which challenges are you interested in choosing? So that's where I noticed that that journey really took me, and that two year journey of what it took me through has also allowed for me to then be able to serve my client at a highest level, because knowing that there's so many things deep down in terms of limiting beliefs and self limitations that we put on ourselves that have to be uncovered first if we're going to make true, lasting change.

Lunden Souza: 12:23

I love what you said of there's always going to be challenges, but what challenges are you choosing? I think that's going to be the quote graphic that we make for this episode.

Lunden Souza: 12:33

I always do, like, you know, promotional content, and that's powerful because I think it's important for anybody listening, and I've made leaps in my life too. It's like it's not that you don't. You get the silver platter with the perfect meal you know air quotes meal, or like that silver platter moment delivered to you. It's just that you'd get to choose the challenges that you face, knowing that they're in more congruence with the person that you want to be and like what you want to do in your life. And it seems like what I took from what you said is that seeking more and more clarity and then sitting with some of those limiting beliefs, as we do in meditation, ended up becoming bigger than the fear. Would you say that?

Pat Smith : 13:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think that decision itself and I'm curious what your thoughts even are is like when you have taken those big leaps. Are you know what? Actually, what type of person do you become from taking those leaps? Like, what type of confidence in yourself comes from that? Because I know, for me that was where it was like holy crap, I'm actually doing this, and by me committing to myself, my confidence in what I'm able to do rose so much, and I'm curious if you had similar experiences at all.

Lunden Souza: 13:50

Yeah, totally. I think you really get to see what you're capable of. I think you get to see, yeah, that you can do hard things, and I know that you and I both have a background in fitness and love working out, and I think that's what that's to me how working out matters even more, because you have opportunities to do hard things and feel good afterwards and push through limits in a way that it transcends into other areas of our lives, instead of it being about what we look like and if our abs are perfect or whatever, and so I think, leaning on having done hard things in the past, working out wise and then also looking back in the history of Lunden and being like, okay, that was hard and I did that, okay, that was hard and I did that. For me, the book that this was before I even knew about Dr. Joe Dispenza, I read a book by Brennan Bershard called High Performance Habits, and it was like in 2017 or 2018, when I was living in Austria and I was doing a photo shoot and a video shoot because I did fitness modeling and fitness videos and all the things for Runtastic and Adidas, and I remember we were doing a shoot outside in I think it was in Spain, and I was like getting my hair and makeup done and every second I was like plowing through this book High Performance Habits and as soon as I finished that book, I knew that that was the moment that everything had changed for me, right? But then it wasn't until 2020, so that's like a two year period as well that I actually left Austria granted, it was COVID and all the things, but I left Austria and decided, if I was going to be like in lockdown, I was going to be with my family and another country on the other side of the world.

Lunden Souza: 15:39

So that was kind of like a little two year period. Because when you said two years, I was kind of like, oh, there was some little bits and pieces of that in my life too. And then I moved back to America and still did, and I remember snowing, like, okay, I don't think I want to do the workout stuff anymore, I want to work more on the work ins in my life, in the lives of others. And I still kind of thought, okay, can I make money without doing fitness? Will people be able to see me not as this fitness persona, in this fitness light, like, can I even do this, and so, November of 2020, I went to Cancun to my first Dr. Joe week-long retreat and then, at the end of 2022, another two year period, right, I decided to completely let go of fitness.

Lunden Souza: 16:30

I was like I'm retiring from fitness, I just don't want to do this anymore. I remember just shutting down my online programs, not offering online fitness coaching anymore, and it happened. I was on Zoom teaching somebody squat form and I remember getting off that Zoom call and being like I never want to do that shit again. Like not because it's not great, but there's other people out there who want to teach exercise mechanics and want to do programming and all of that.

Lunden Souza: 16:54

And I just did not feel in alignment with that anymore. So you saying kind of that two year period also kind of reminded me of that as well, and not that it takes anybody two years to make a decision. It might be two years, it might be five years, it might be 30 days, whatever. But I think there's value in kind of zooming in and honing in on once we decide and then, of course, believing in our dreams, believing in our capabilities, boosting our confidence and all of that, but then setting up like some strategic groundwork of like, okay, what can this look like? And then sometimes taking the leap anyway. And so, yeah, when I did that, though, I started thinking about okay, when I was 17, I was 18, I left my parents house five hours away, I went to college, right, and I remember being overwhelmed by doing my own laundry and like having to do like grocery shopping and go to school full time, and so I remembered that. And then I remember moving to Austria, and that was like gosh, a whirlwind roller coaster of emotions for the first year, right, I remember crying in the store because I couldn't find Kale and quinoa like the real struggles of life, you know. So then I remembered, okay, you did that and that was scary, right.

Lunden Souza: 18:04

And so then I think that being able to look back I think sometimes people don't slow down enough to look at their timeline or their history of themselves to be like, okay, I've done hardship before I can do it again. I've done something scary before and you know, I didn't die, and so I think that was really helpful too, but it didn't take away the scaredness or the some of the limiting beliefs of, oh, can I do it? But to your point, yeah, when you do do it, when you do step out, when you do just decide, okay, I'm never going to feel like perfectly congruent and fully confident to just do this now, I'm just going to go after it. That was really, you know, and I look back even now it's been a little over a year since choosing that challenge, as you to use your words of not doing fitness anymore, diving into life coaching and NLP and helping people with the work ends and healing trauma, and you know all of that.

Lunden Souza: 19:02

I'm like, oh, yeah, that was really scary and I did that, and that leads me to believe and I don't know how you feel. I think like, okay, well, what's more, like what else haven't I figured out about my courage yet. And how can I like I don't want to scare myself even more if that makes sense, but not in a way that makes me want to run from it. It's like I almost want to run more towards it.

Lunden Souza: 19:24

Does that feel the same for you?

Pat Smith : 19:25

Yeah, well, what I noticed is there's that initial discomfort and trying something new, and then we get to a baseline again and we're like wait, this seems like not complacency, but you feel a little bit comfortable. As you said, I did this, but like what's next? So I've reminded myself of and it is great to remind ourselves of the hard things we've done and being grateful for where we're at and still being okay and with knowing that we can still evolve in different areas, not to say that we aren't satisfied with where we're at, because I think that piece is being grateful in that moment is super important. However, on top of that, what else can I do to evolve and how else can I show up? And so, yeah, I definitely see where.

Pat Smith : 20:08

Once we get to that point, it's also like it's just a loop. You move into the discomfort but then you manage it enough to where it's normal. It's not easy, it's more normalized, it's more familiar, so it doesn't feel as uncomfortable. And in order for us to evolve, we have to do something uncomfortable, which is just something unfamiliar, in order for us to create true change. And if we're not changing at all times, then in the world is changing and other people are changing, then we're stuck staying the same, and that's where I noticed so many people find themselves feeling distanced from oh, this person's already here, so I'll never start because they've just been staying the same for years, years, years, and other people have been moving forward, and that perception of what they feel like is a really far out dream is what becomes very daunting. And I don't think that that's necessarily true, because those people just took the same type of steps you and I took, which are consistent, small steps over time, and they're just that much further along the journey. So, being real, real transparent with your cell phone, where we're at with the journey and I love that you're being willing to open into new areas where I what can I get into?

Pat Smith : 21:16

That scares me a little bit, because I think there's many people that say if it's not scaring you just a little bit, then more than likely your dreams aren't big enough, or something along those lines, and I say that's, that's relatively true. Otherwise you're just playing it safe, and I think each, every one of us, each and every one of us, has unlimited amount of potential. It's just the limitations we put on ourselves that are keeping the world from getting that potential, and that's a disservice to us. It's a disservice to the people who really need our help, and that's that's where I found myself in a struggle with, especially when I was at my old job, knowing my knowledge, expertise and experience and how I could help people, except I felt almost guilty by just doing this job that I had no interest in simply for the money, while there are people out there that could be using my help. So diving deep into that is is is super important. In your heart usually knows what it wants best, so listening to that intuition is highly important.

Lunden Souza: 22:16

Yeah, what limitations do you see are the biggest with the people that you work with that prevents them from living at their peak performance or well being in the workplace and home life and in all areas of their life. Like what do you feel like limits people holds people back the most that you've helped your clients and people you work with.

Pat Smith : 22:41

Although I help individuals a lot with health optimization, so we can talk about movement, exercise, nutrition, sleep the biggest thing that's hold any, that holds any of my clients back is simply their mindset and their belief systems and their patterns. Once those are broken, then you have an unlimited amount of area to go into. You know, I I thinking about. An example that came to mind was, you know, a client of mine who essentially felt like he could never let off the gas, because if he let off the gas in his job then things would just fall apart, and of course that reaffirmed his belief. So he kept doing the same old things over and over again, except it was leaving him feel unfulfilled. All these things. So simply changing his belief system which isn't as easy as a snap the fingers, but talking through that, discussing it, figuring out ways whether it's through somatic worth or breath work or meditation to start to unlock some of these things, allowed for him to see that it's okay for him to take a step back and in doing so it releases some control which then puts, you know, more energy back in his life, which actually means he shows up more energized in his business. So I would say a lot of those belief systems and mindset are the biggest foundational piece.

Pat Smith : 23:58

That, when you can dive into those interpersonal limitations it's not usually a business strategy, it's not an issue with showing up to the gym, is just something that's inside of them that they've created and reaffirmed so many times that keeps people the most stuck in a lot of that, I'm sure, as you mentioned, or you mentioned it earlier, right, it could be trauma, it could be core wounds from early on in their childhood or just how they grew up and their specific tendencies.

Pat Smith : 24:24

And not to say that any of them are wrong, because most individuals are successful in their own right and I got them to that point but they have interest in moving to another elevated place, whether that's a greater relationship or growth in business. So it's going to take them letting go of some of that to then replace it with some new things. And if it doesn't, then that same conditioning will only get them to that same end goal. And I know that I, for my experience, was the limiting factors was simply just myself, and once I broke three free through some of those and I knew that there was lots of different areas for me to go outside of that.

Lunden Souza: 25:04

Yeah, and I love what you said about having gratitude for those beliefs because they got you to where you are thus far, instead of yourself up of how could that, you know? And I think that's important, because we need to look back and be like wait, I needed that in order to get here, but now, if I want to get here, that has to go, that has to leave a little bit, and I know that we're both Super into meditation, and I think that's one of the ways where we get still and silent with ourselves and come back to the present moment A lot of those beliefs start to show up. And when we get really honest about those because I think for a while I was kind of like I don't think that like I remember, you know, beliefs of like not being good enough or not being, yeah, just like smart enough, or just certain things would come up or Self sabotage as a form of like holding myself back. And I remember when those things started to come up and I just started to write them down, some of my limiting beliefs in my journal, I was like, oh shit, I would have never thought that I was the person that thought those things, but the longer that I suppressed those, though like the longer that it will take me to, you know, get to this next phase that I want to. And then even last week no, this week, so today is Wednesday, so on Monday no, yeah, last week, last Wednesday, at breathwork class, I remember, you know, we are doing a lot of breathwork.

Lunden Souza: 26:49

Then there's meditation and somehow this limiting belief loaded in that was like you're too old, like you're too old. I don't know where that came from, but it came because I was, I put myself in that relaxed state, allowed, you know, things to come out of my subconscious and unconscious mind. So, instead of saying like, oh no, Lunden, you're not too old, just like, just, I'm kind of like, okay, where might that have come from? You know, where where am I? You know, where is there some truth to that that I can just nurture myself in a little bit more. And so that's why I love meditation so much, because we can be like go, go, go.

Lunden Souza: 27:25

I remember just like working 24, seven, working out all the time, doing all the things, like my work was my worth, and now being able to be like excited about sitting in nothingness to see what comes up next, I'm like huh, what other parts of me would be helpful to change and kind of, you know, transmute, digest, alchemize a little bit, because I was like, huh, that's interesting. So just when we think I don't know, I mean maybe people you know listening think like, okay, you get to this point and then you're like all good. It's like Not really, but it is all good now for me. I'm not as scared to lean into some of those beliefs, especially when I can get honest with them and be like, oh, that's weird yeah okay, maybe there is part of me that believes that yeah.

Pat Smith : 28:16

I would kind of use the analogy. Sometimes with clients, it's like you don't just get fit and all of a sudden you're fit and you're like alright, see, I'll do this, I never do this again. So it's a constant progression. So, and it almost is In a good way, though I believe a double edged sword is you become so self aware that now you're even more self aware of the things that you didn't even realize were there, and now you see that you can transmute them, or of all of them, and change them, especially through meditation. So as one thing, potentially, let's say, heels then In a more healed space, you are more consciously aware to see those other things that, oh, that's also been running in the background. So that's an area for me to lean into and understand and get to know better, not suppress anymore, but just become aware of and bring to light and see in what areas can I improve that, not to fix anything, but just to improve it and to understand it. And yeah, I would say that that I'm just thinking about. My experience with some of those things is Typically, when I became deeper and deeper into meditation, I realized a lot of that, for anything that would come up was almost this Internal cry for me to call and say, hey, you know, Pat, you've been doing this for 20 or 30 years. You should probably go back to doing that. And that's where the conscious awareness of being able to Not like white and euclid, but becoming aware of it say, hey, that served me. Yes, thank you, and I appreciate you giving out this cry, if you will, to keep me safe. But I'm safe, it's okay. I can move forward without this belief and I'm going to be alright, like giving that some honor and then also moving beyond it, and I like to think about that because it's very often, even in a meditation currently, it's like something could pop up and I'm realizing that all that thought is is just a cry for help to bring me back to where this conditioned, conditioned peace has been to keep me comfortable.

Pat Smith : 30:13

However, we just talked about it we, if we want to move forward and evolve in whatever area personally, professionally, relationships, health it's going to take some getting uncomfortable, so letting that go is a big part of it and you know you think about like the devil on the shoulder and the angel on the shoulder, like the devil, tries to creep in only to keep you in the same spot and that is.

Pat Smith : 30:39

That is something that is a skill to become aware of, and if you're not, then more than likely you're just running on that same program. So I love to share that with clients and get them to be consciously aware of that, because I can tell them that. But that's a skill that has to be developed. But once it is developed, it allows for them to see areas of improvement in so many different realms, whether it's personally or professionally. And that's where I notice for my for myself, at least, that's where the biggest breakthroughs came came from is just continuing to challenge that inner, inner dialogue and that interpersonal, you know, beliefs that we have set in stone that were more than likely developed between Right two to seven and we're two to seven, which is so fascinating to think about.

Lunden Souza: 31:25

Yeah, I love that and it's kind of I often have like the DJ Visualization where it's like that music, that programming is playing in the background.

Lunden Souza: 31:35

We didn't even know we were the DJ playing that record until we're like wait, you know, this is something I can slow down, tune into, start to listen to and start to nurture and help feel safe. Changing the song and that ability to feel safe, I think, is so beautiful and I found a lot of yeah, tools for safety and meditation and breath work and things like that. One of the things that I know is Is a big part of your story that you share and I also see myself in that too is numbing out with substances like weed, alcohol, and I think you know I was thinking about this today, as I was thinking about us recording and having this podcast conversation about how, like, how do we know and I don't have an answer. I just thought we could discuss this how do we know when we're just like raging high school students, college students, just like having the fun going through the phase, and then when it becomes like a coping mechanism or a numbing mechanism or something that we are, yeah, using to not feel, and right now, not really by choice, but kind of by choice, it just kind of happened. I'm like so sober right now. It's wonderful.

Lunden Souza: 32:55

I just did our 30-day Radiance detox kit from NABA and Quicksilver. That feels amazing and I remember the other day sitting on my couch and being like, oh shit, I'm feeling a lot. A lot of different feelings, there's a lot happening, but somehow I really like it, like it's cool to feel sadness and happiness and resentment maybe coming up and I like heartbreak revisiting from previous situations, like that's been super cool in a way that I think for a while I just, like you know, would numb out and be like, okay, I'm gonna smoke some weed, have a weed gummy, have a few glasses of wine and just like let that go and put itself away and just start to feel good again you know, and I know that you've made reels and share like photos of you back in the day, just like rage in and having a good time and just not looking healthy, not looking as vibrant as you do now, and yeah, so like how do we know when it's like fun and when it's like numbing?

Lunden Souza: 33:55

I don't really know, but I kind of think I know for myself, but like how did you know what it was like? Not the right avenue. Hey, really quick, I want to interrupt the podcast for just a minute to tell you about one of my favorite supplements for hair, skin, nails, digestive and gut health, and that is snap supplements super greens with collagen. Now, if you're following me on social media, you've probably seen me post about this a bunch because, honestly, this product Tastes amazing and it's jam packed with nutrients, like I said, to support healthy hair, skin and nails. It helps support detoxification, a healthy immune system and there's even probiotics in there for a healthy gut. It's non-gmo, no sugar added, soy free, grass-fed collagen and every scoop is gonna give you seven grams of protein and this is why I love it, because it's not like a protein shake, it's just a scoop of powder. It tastes amazing. I put it in water, or, if I want more hydration, I'll put it in coconut water and mix it up, and it's like having a nice refreshing beverage that's packed with a bunch of super greens and protein.

Lunden Souza: 35:00

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Pat Smith : 36:00

Um, that's great question. As you said it, I would say it's definitely, excuse me, individualized for everyone. However, looking back on it, I I would say for me I convinced myself that this is just a phase, this is just what people do. But then, when I look back now and I realize the extent of it, it wasn't just like let's go have some beers with my friends or let's go smoke some weed.

Pat Smith : 36:28

Every once in a while it was like, literally, if you can't remember a time for an extended couple of days where you weren't on something or doing something basically from the time you woke up to the time you went to bed, for I don't know five to ten years then more than likely it was going to be an issue and you also knew it was a super big, or I found out it was a super big issue is when I finally started to detach from that, the type of anxiety and emotions that would come up that I didn't know how to handle, to feel, as you were just saying and alluding to the depression, the anxiety, all of that started to creep in so quickly. But I never knew what that was like because I never had the chance to experience it. So that's where I found it being such a big thing, and if there's healthy boundaries on it, then I would say that you can feel your emotions and you understand yourself. Then maybe it is a healthy boundary, but for me, in that situation at least, that was definitely not the case. However, the interesting thing like looking back was all it was was me trying to escape, ever trying to feel the pain of some of the things that I had experienced early on.

Pat Smith : 37:42

Not that it was something super tragic or trauma-based, but it was just like you know, you have your parents who get divorced, you maybe lose a grandparent or lose a loved one, and when you lose a loved one and you don't really have any outlet to actually grieve and go through those emotions, the whole range of emotions as humans, as we should go through all of them frustration, anger, sadness, whatever it might be.

Pat Smith : 38:08

If you don't do any of that and then you're just automatically suppressing it and then that never comes back up because you haven't given it time, then that's where there's potentially a problem and all that is is just waiting for that volcano to finally burst, which it did for me later on down the line when I realized that I hadn't really been in a clear headspace for such a long time, and it wasn't only that. Oh, now I don't have these to cope with, but now I am angry at myself for taking this much time, in so many of the pivotal years of growth, to get beyond that. And so just seeing that for myself was huge. And yeah, I don't know if there's necessarily a right or wrong answer on how to know, but seeing and looking back is very clear to me that that it wasn't just a phase. It was like that was literally my life, Like there was nothing about it, that was just like a moderate thing.

Lunden Souza: 39:10

Yeah, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer either. I think it's super personal and subjective. But same, when I look back I'm like, oh yeah, that was for sure like to get the edge off, or to like numb out of a particular feeling or a state where now I'm like, oh, this is really cool to actually feel. And I recently went to a Christmas party at a close friend of mine's house and then I went to Mexico with my aunt and uncle and my cousins and I remember thinking this is like super recent too. I remember thinking like, okay, what am I going to say when they ask me why I'm not drinking? Or like, how am I going to like say, you know, stand my ground, because I really don't want to? I had recently done I haven't talked about this on the podcast yet, but I recently had done combo therapy. So I was like I just don't really want to drink. I'm not called to that right now.

Lunden Souza: 40:03

But the funny thing was is I got to the Christmas party. I was like you know, someone asked like oh, do you want to shot? And I'm like no, and then I'm good, I'm just like you know. And nobody said anything. No one gave two shits. No one said anything about me not drinking. Same thing in Mexico. I thought I was going to have to like remind my cousin multiple times like, no, I don't want to shot a tequila. No, she didn't give a shit, you know.

Lunden Souza: 40:23

So that also made me laugh too, because I used up so much mental energy. Even now, right, like yeah, I mean we're all. I just say even now, because it's like we're always working, always a work in progress. There's always things that we get to grow in and out of. But I really thought about that a lot, like I would practice saying out loud like, no, I don't want to drink, no, thank you, I'm good.

Lunden Souza: 40:46

Like I just did, you know this combo medicine, therapy, and I just like I'm not really wanting to drink right now, but like nobody asked me more than like once, and it was just like out of a courtesy to like make me a drink, you know.

Lunden Souza: 40:59

And so I thought that was really fun too, because sometimes we think, oh my gosh, I'm going to miss out on all the fun or my friends and that might be the case, right, I can think of a lot of friends, a lot of relationships that I just had to let go of and they saw themselves out as I continued to evolve and become more of who I'm becoming. But then there's also a lot of people out there that like they're just busy living their own lives and they could care less if I have a drink or not have a drink, you know. But I was just laughing at myself and thinking like, oh, I made it seem like people actually cared that much about my habits that they were going to like and attack me over not doing something, and so that kind of made me laugh a little bit.

Pat Smith : 41:37

Yeah, it's. I find that too, for myself is oh, I'm assuming people are going to react this certain way when we go to, as you said, whether it's a Christmas party, or we go out to dinner and everybody's ordering whatever. I put that assumption out there and then I realized that most likely, as you said, they're more, they're conflicted, not conflicted, but they're consumed with their own life Like they're not, they're not thinking twice about oh, why is she not doing this? And and I've come to realize that, if that is the case a lot of times, that's just, you know, maybe that's some self discovery for them to experience on their own end. And I find myself coming up into that often, of that I don't, I just, I just say no and I don't even have to explain myself.

Pat Smith : 42:21

But in the past, when I first started, I always felt like I had to have some excuse. Well, not today, it's, I got to do this tomorrow, or you know, I had a long night last night or making something up, and then I realized that that doing that is only hurting me, because I'm not really living in alignment with what I'm, what I believe in. And yeah, I also find it, and I'm curious for you when you're in those situations, do you feel like you have more fun or less fun, or what are you? What are some of the ways you have to actively seek out ways to still enjoy yourself? I know for me it's like just getting into Deeper conversations is like one of the easiest ways for me to make sure that I get the most out of the time when I'm with people.

Lunden Souza: 43:09

Yes, there was a time where I felt like I wasn't having as much fun, so I would recluse a little bit more and not join the activities. And now, where I'm at today and where I feel like I've been at the last I would say six or seven months, is I purposely and proactively engage and found, find myself having a lot of fun, even though I'm? I went, I got invited, for example, to a Vision board making party last weekend from a girl that I met at a full moon ceremony and then she came to my house with another group of people to do the walk for the world doctor Jo.

Pat Smith : 43:46

Wauke meditation.

Lunden Souza: 43:46

I had people over to do that. Anyways, she invited me to the vision board making party. I was like, for sure, that sounds fun. They were all drinking like wine and white claws, whatever, and I was just like no, thanks, I'm good. And just like also found myself having a lot of fun. So I think, am I choosing to like go out to the bar and you know, like I think I'm also picking and choosing the Things I'm doing that potentially also include alcohol or whatever, and just like saying no and then going into deeper Conversations with those people and deciding that that's super fun.

Lunden Souza: 44:19

But there was definitely a part that was kind of like this is boring or if everybody's drinking or partaking, and then like I don't want to be there so I'm not gonna do anything.

Lunden Souza: 44:29

But then I realized, you know, we're not meant to do life alone, like there is beauty and being okay and being alone and not Needing to be around others, but I also believe humans are, you know, community beings, and so I just am like okay, where, like you know, making friends with the people that are at my breath work, where I do breath work and sauna, and you know, making friends with people at, like, full moon ceremonies, or just like choosing Wisely the people that now I choose to engage with.

Lunden Souza: 44:59

I think I now find myself in Opportunities, like you said, to have those deeper conversations. I often say like I don't know, I don't know how to engage about the Kardashians or like popular culture or a lot of those things like I Feel I remember being at a wedding with my best friend as her plus one last year in Cabo and just like sitting there and being like I'm kind of in La La Land, like I don't know, but that I was kind of joking. I'm like can you guys give me the cliff notes on like what's going on in popular culture, so then I can like kind of know what you guys are talking about and I'm not completely out of it.

Lunden Souza: 45:32

So I kind of made a joke about it too. But I know that about me I'm like I don't want. I don't want to talk surface level conversations. I don't want to talk about the latest series episode, like. I want to go deep and talk about, like, what limiting beliefs came up in your most recent meditation. Like what do you think happens when you die? Do you have funerals for parts of yourself, when you start to shed parts of? Like those are the things I want to talk about. So yeah, at first I did feel a little bit like, oh, I'm missing out, this is boring, this is not as fun. But then I just started putting myself in situations and around people that were interested more in those deeper topics. So then I could. I felt like there was growth on both ends and exchange and evolution on both ends when we were like hanging out.

Pat Smith : 46:14

Yeah, I like that approach a lot as just I think for a long time for me, just early on, I was using it. I would use it to then isolate and then also feel almost stressed that I wasn't out there and then so, you know, since I've moved to Charlotte especially just really being able to, as you said, dive into the areas where it's like I can still connect with people, and it doesn't have to be surrounded by this and if it is, that's okay too. I just have to. I just get to Figure out how it's fun for me and then also putting the limitations on, you know, not being at the bar, but if people are coming over for our dinner party and they're drinking, I'm not gonna not talk to them and then just learning how to engage around that and that that becomes, then that allows for you to be so much more adaptable.

Pat Smith : 46:59

I know, for me at least, was allowing me to get past that of like I can still go out with my friends if they're like, hey, we're gonna get dinner and drinks, I can still go out. I just don't have to drink. And feeling so obligated because afterwards I would, I would typically shame myself, which is something that I had to work through too, of like why am I shame myself for then actually giving in to drink a little bit and then feeling miserable afterwards and you know again, just Getting to find out what that's like and diving into that allows for Me to just be better person. I know at least how I feel and how I show up.

Lunden Souza: 47:34

Yeah, recognizing your role and perpetuating that cycle and also your role in, like, creating a new, unknown cycle for yourself. Yeah, I love that tell us about as we kind of wrap things up here. Tell us about your course that you created with NABA and Any ways that people can connect with you and dive even more into your coaching and into your world and realm Now yeah, so the course that I have with NABA is called office optimization, focused on the individual in the office to reduce burnout and to improve work life balance.

Pat Smith : 48:11

So giving some tools and strategies to really dive deep into what is causing them stress, how to manage that, how to get around that and how to prioritize the things that actually matter so that they can get back Living fulfilled, showing up at their best, being present not just at work but with their family, with their loved ones, with their friends and their relationships the stuff that actually matters outside of our jobs. And so, yeah, that's my course with NABA. If anybody wants to connect with me, Instagram is the easiest place for me. As Lunden knows, it's pasts mith wellness, just like it sounds, and, and that would be easiest. And, yeah, other than that, if anybody ever has any questions or I could assist in any way, feel free to reach out to me. I appreciate you having me on.

Lunden Souza: 48:56

Yeah, totally. I'll put the links to your course and to your Instagram in the show notes. Sweet, and yeah, if you enjoyed this episode and want to connect with Pat even more, do so. His course is awesome. His Instagram is super inspiring. I consume a lot of your content. I pay attention because I love what you're doing and I was excited to have you on today. So thank you for taking your time to be here and to share more of you and what you do and your heart. We really appreciate it.

Pat Smith : 49:25

Awesome, I appreciate you bringing me on. I'll talk to you soon.

Lunden Souza: 49:29

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of self-love and sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review this really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self-love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot. Austria production. You.