How To Declutter Your Home & Your Life with Courtney Florey

Want some tips on how to declutter your home and your life? In this episode, Lunden dives deep into decluttering, simplicity, organizing and the emotions behind it with founder of 'Declutter and Dwell' Courtney Florey. From cleaning out that junk drawer to communicating with your partner when you don't see eye-to-eye on clutter...we are covering it all!

Who is Courtney Florey?
Courtney Florey is a wife, mom, owner of Declutter & Dwell and the Founder of The Simplicity Society. She is passionate about helping women find a sustainable rhythm of decluttering that fits into their busy lifestyles. Her goal is to help women create a home that is cozy, lived-in, and easier to manage and her heart is to walk alongside them on this journey, because it’s more fun when it’s done together.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode:
0:00 Intro
2:46 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
5:37 Decluttering Tips For Beginners
14:03 How To Overcome Decluttering Struggles As A Mom
27:50 Decluttering For Mental Clarity
31:37 Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
36:41 Decluttering Beyond the Physical: Cleaning Your Mental Junk Drawer

Connect with Courtney:
IG: @declutteranddwell
The Simple Life Starter Kit

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 2:26

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your self-love and sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/ calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E, L-I-K-E L-U-N-D-E-N dot com forward slash calendar. Go, get yours for free and enjoy this episode. Hey everybody, happy today. Welcome back to Self Love and Sweat, the podcast, and Self Love and Sweat Radio on the expansion channel on Dash Radio.

Lunden Souza: 4:42

I'm really excited to talk about decluttering and simplicity and all the things with Courtney Florey. Courtney is a wife, a mom, owner of Declutter and Dwell and the founder of "The Simplicity Society. She is passionate about helping women find a sustainable rhythm of decluttering that fits into their busy lifestyles, and her goal is to help women create a home that is cozy, lived in and easier to manage. And her heart is to walk alongside them on this journey, because it's more fun when it's done together. Courtney, I'm so excited to talk with you today. I think simplicity and decluttering whether people do it or not, it's somehow so satisfying, so I'm excited for you to be here today and share your wisdom. Thanks for being here.

Lunden Souza: 5:37

I want to start with the how I think my and maybe a lot of people listening too my vision of decluttering is Marie Kondo, where she goes in and thinks and has a moment and a conversation and a healing session with everything she puts into the garbage. Session with everything she puts into the garbage. How do you start? How do we start decluttering?

Courtney Florey: 5:57

What is the issue that's holding us back and why are we holding onto so much stuff? Wow, Loaded question there, and there's a lot that goes into it. I think we often think that we have to just grab everything and put it in a bag and bring it to the donation center, and you know that's a lot of the time I think what we think about, and so it feels really overwhelming because we're like I don't know where to start, I don't know what to get rid of. And so what I've learned over the years is that it really does take some of that inner work, some reflection, some processing, to understand what you really want in your life and in your home and to kind of look at the things that are in your home and to see if they're reflecting the values that you have, the goals and just what you want for your life. So if you feel like you're overwhelmed, you're spending too much time cleaning up and you just want more time, then I would say you know, look at a space that feels easy to start with. So maybe that's not the garage, it's probably not your closet, right, but maybe it's as simple as your medicine cabinet in your bathroom, or maybe it's your fridge, something that you feel like you can tackle in a short amount of time, where you know you can do it and be done with it right, versus like your garage, where you can be in there for hours but spend, you know, 20 minutes decluttering your fridge.

Courtney Florey: 7:21

And something that I see happen all the time is people they feel that spark, they feel that momentum start to build because they saw okay, wait, I can do this, I can make progress. And then from there it really does become a snowball effect, Like probably a lot of other things in our life. You know, when we start small, we can build upon them and build the habit. But I always say start somewhere that feels doable. Either set a time limit or pick a finite, small, not a whole room, but a small, finite space that you can complete and be. You know, pat yourself on the back, you did it awesome. And then next time and it doesn't have to be the next day, it doesn't have to be this um rigid thing, but then the next time you're ready to declutter, pick it back up and do that again.

Lunden Souza: 8:10

Oh, I love that, like starting with the junk drawer or the medicine cabinet or the fridge or just the kitchen cabinets. It's kind of like not doing the marathon all at once. It's like starting with a walk and then maybe one mile jog, 5k, and building up kind of that decluttering endurance, if you will. Where did your journey start with this? Did you used to be a hoarder? Have you always been super simple? How did you decide that this was an area you could serve people in?

Courtney Florey: 8:43

Yeah, so I have always been a pretty simple gal. It started my husband and I just had recently gotten married. We were living in an apartment at the time and my husband one night was like what would you think if we got rid of a bunch of stuff and lived in an RV? And we were young, it was just the two of us. I thought, sure, why not, that would be fun. So we did that for a little less than two years and you know, we didn't have a ton of stuff to begin with. We had things and we got rid of them. But you know, living in an RV, there's only so much you can have in there. And so we lived this very simple, you know, pretty minimal lifestyle was really only what we needed and it was fun. I mean it was quite an adventure, but I think it it really taught the both of us like you really don't need as much as you think you do. I think we can often justify or just feel like, oh well, what if I need this someday? Or it's a useful item, so I feel like I should keep it, and then we don't use it. We just things sit around and sometimes I know for people it is comforting to know like, well, I have it if I need it, but a lot of the time we don't actually use it. And so we learned a lot about just our priorities in life and that, you know, it really wasn't about the stuff that we had.

Courtney Florey: 10:02

And during that time I was also working as a nanny, and so I was in several different homes. I had nannied for over five years and so I had seen homes of busy families who did have, you know, multiple kids, and I just would. You know, part of the job, of course, is taking care of the kids, but also managing the house. And so I would look around and I'm like things could be so much simpler if you just had fewer things and less stuff. And so I kind of combined those two experiences, because I do primarily work with moms, and at the time I wasn't a mom yet, and so it was really cool to have this bird's eye view into those family lifestyles while also living very simply.

Lunden Souza: 10:42

Yeah, I think about. You said something or told me about I think you wrote it on the form of my guests. I have you guys fill out, just like areas and topics and points that you like to make, and one of the things you wrote was simplicity is greater than decluttering, I think it was. Or simplicity, yeah, over-organizing, just simplicity, over-organizing. And this made me think of so, like on social media.

Lunden Souza: 11:09

I remember one time seeing this thing where they pulled open a sock drawer that had a bajillion pairs of socks and then they took all the socks out and then they put this like MacGyver gadget in there that you pop in the sock drawer and it opens it up and has all these squares, that then you can organize more of your socks.

Lunden Souza: 11:25

And I remember thinking like, oh, why don't you just have like five pairs of socks instead of 500, you know, thinking like, oh, why don't you just have like five pairs of socks instead of 500? So I know that there's like closet organizers and people that will come in and make space for the things that you have, and I want to ask you what that means. But in my mind read it's like it's one thing to have enough place and organization for all the stuff versus like just having less stuff, cause it's cool that that's in a Tupperware in your garage or whatever that looks like in the container, but if you never use it, never see it and it's just there. Is that actually decluttering or is it just like putting something somewhere convenient? You know what I mean. Yeah, totally.

Courtney Florey: 12:09

Um, yeah, I would not say it's decluttering, because and I can define the two decluttering is the act of removing what is no longer serving you from your home. Organizing and this is my definition is making your clutter look pretty. Now I guess I should say you can organize after you've decluttered, if you really want to get into that. You know, and you've simplified and you're like I have what I need and now I want to make it look pretty. For some people they like that and I think that's fine. It's not my MO, but that's different. But if you, you know going into it, you're like I'm overwhelmed, I'm drowning, I have so much stuff.

Courtney Florey: 12:44

Organizing Isn't going to be the first step. It's easier because all you have to do is just put the stuff in a bin and it goes away and it's like, okay, I'm done. But especially if you're a mom, what happens when little Johnny pulls the bin out and dumps it out on the floor, because that's what you do when you're two and all the stuff is and you have to go pick up all of those things? Well, you didn't get rid of the junk, right, you just put it away. You made it look nice in the cute wicker basket, which I get it, it's fun, it's like, oh, this looks so cute, but you didn't eliminate the problem, right.

Courtney Florey: 13:19

The problem was that you're overwhelmed, you're tired, you don't want to clean up all day, right, and so you didn't solve that problem. You really just put a pretty bandaid over it. But when you can actually get rid of the things, get them out of your house, you have less to manage, less to worry about, less to stress over and truly you have more peace because you can look around your house and it's not going to be perfect and we can talk about this. But it's not about having a perfect home, but it's about just making it easier to manage. I think we all want that because we know, at the end of the day, that we're going to have more time, more capacity, more mental space for what really matters, because I don't think anybody would say cleaning and managing my home is at the top of my priority list.

Lunden Souza: 14:04

Yeah, especially with the busy moms that you're working with regularly. And when you said make it look pretty, I was also thinking about your medicine cabinet analogy, where it's like it's great if it looks pretty but if, like, six of the bottles of Tylenol behind the first one that's perfectly lined up are like expired or crusty or could be combined or whatever. I remember being at a friend's house asking for, I think, a Band-Aid and then her being like, oh, the stuff is up there in those bins and I open it up and I'm looking for it and I'm like, wait, this was expired in 2019. This is empty and I just started getting. It's one thing if it looks pretty, but is it functional and is it actually serving you? When you go to that container and I need something from this, can you actually find it?

Lunden Souza: 14:51

I know you work with a lot of moms. I'm not a mom and I work with a lot of moms too in my life coaching business and I often salute I say Lunden party of one. That's what I usually say as like a salute to mothers, cause sometimes I'm just like, wow, superheroes in human form, right, doing all the things for their kids running their family. I know moms listening are like yeah, I want to declutter and get rid of this stuff, but just as soon as I'm decluttering over here, there's a mess over here. My husband comes in, throws his pile of stuff over here. Where did they start and how do they find relief through decluttering without, like doing the most?

Courtney Florey: 15:34

I would say same thing applies, like what I shared earlier start with something that feels easy, and also depending on the age of your kids, because I know it can be hard, especially when they're little. My son's 11 months, so he's in the stage of pulling everything out, you know. But I will say and I hope this encourages you, I have still been able to. You know, declutter a drawer. It's not a whole room, remember it's. It's. It might even be five minutes, especially if you have young kids who are, you know, just going to probably make a mess, cause I've heard moms tell me, you know, I can't do it when you know they're awake because they make a mess. When they're awake because they make a mess. And if it works better for you to do it when they're asleep, that's fine, but you could include them, make them a part of the process.

Courtney Florey: 16:15

I've had so many great stories from moms who have shared. I've modeled it, they've seen me do it. It's not an overnight thing, but my kids and they're a little bit older, but they've watched me do it. And then, all of a sudden, my daughter, my daughter came and said hey, mom, can we declutter my room together? Or, hey, I want to give some of my toys to, you know, kids who don't have them, and I want to um, you know, take care of my own things and I think that's just such a testimony to you.

Courtney Florey: 16:42

You know modeling and teaching and showing them. So if you feel like you know, I just don't know when I'm going to make it happen with the kids here, include them, and you know it may take some time. But even if it's, like I said, five or just 10 minutes, it's still progress and I think we often if you're like me, you know, we're often hard on ourselves and we can tell ourselves, like you know, 10 minutes, we're not going to get anything done right, we need to have an hour, we need to have a whole day to do it. But you really can make progress in those just small chunks of time if you are mindful about, you know, prioritizing them and making the time and I think, just knowing that it will be worth it.

Lunden Souza: 17:24

Yeah, I relate to what you said about thinking something's going to take longer than it actually does when it comes to cleaning and tidying up or organizing. I also have a pile of you can't see it, but now you can of all my clean laundry that I put on this table to then do in between calls. And while I know this will take me probably like a minute and a half to fold and put away like it'll be super simple, there was still a part of me that was like I can't do that right now. I need to prepare for this or whatever. But then I also know there's times where I'm like, okay, I'm going to set a timer for 20 minutes and I'm just going to do whatever I can. And in my mind I'm like that's probably like unloading the dishwasher and, I don't know, tidying up my bathroom. But in the end, 20 minutes is actually a lot longer.

Lunden Souza: 18:15

When it's focused on that, of course, if you're on your phone or like sidetracked, that's different.

Lunden Souza: 18:21

But I've always amazed myself with what I can do in like 20 minutes and I think, looking back on that and doing that regularly, I remind myself like Lunden, it's not going to take an hour, it's not going to take two hours. You know you can deep clean your whole one bedroom apartment in about an hour and a half. So to deal with like this corner 20 minutes tops probably, and practicing that like putting the reps in of like setting a timer and then like seeing what you can get done, for me has been motivating because I'm like, oh, I thought I was only going to make a dent in the kitchen, but really I did the kitchen. I like took out the trashes, I, you know, just like tidied up and got things a little bit more organized. So that really resonates with me, because sometimes we feel like it's something's going to take hours, but actually we spend hours freaking out about it or hours thinking about how we don't want to do it. How do you help people push past that? Analysis paralysis.

Courtney Florey: 19:20

That's funny. I just recently posted some content about I think it was a reel about how we spend more time avoiding it than actually doing it, which is so true. I mean, I'm sure this could apply to so many things, but I see this happen a lot with decluttering because we know it needs to get done and I always say decluttering isn't the sexiest chore on the list. It's always like I'll push that off. That can happen later. A lot of the time it just doesn't feel like something we want to do, especially if we're already tired. You know it's been a long day, what have you?

Courtney Florey: 19:55

Because decluttering requires decision making, which means it's it's a process, it's something you have to think about, right, especially it maybe, maybe not the fridge. You still have to think. You know, do I need this? But especially when you can get into things like your closet, baby clothes, things like that where it may feel a little bit harder to let go of what is first on your list and then, what is most important, what is something that is maybe a pain point for you, and then and I think, knowing that you have just one thing to do instead of you know your list of 10 things, because I know it can feel overwhelming when you can look. You know you can look at your whole house and think where am I going to start? I have to do every room, especially when you are that overwhelmed. So pick that high priority space and then start there and then you can move down your list.

Lunden Souza: 21:02

Yeah, I think of like those moments when you get in that mood to declutter and then you dive into the biggest project and then you feel like, oh shit, I like opened up another can of worms. Then this drawer led to this drawer. So, doing some kind of assessing and planning and, like you said, deciding where you want to start, what have you seen to be like a realistic timeline? I know you work with a lot of busy moms and probably every day tackling something is not the jam, but also just doing one thing and then waiting a few months to do another, only to have that first thing be re-cluttered again. You know what I mean. Like what's an ideal tempo that stretches people's comfort zones a little bit but then also gets the job done, so that you can look back and be like super stoked on what you've created in your home.

Courtney Florey: 21:46

That's a good question. So that does vary and I'm thinking of the ultimate goal and I'll talk about that. Really, it's what I do now and of course it takes some time to get there. But I was just talking with a client who has essentially graduated because she's just learned a lot and she's come a long way, especially mentally.

Courtney Florey: 22:09

Like I talked about, there's a lot of that inner work and it does take the noticing in your home or seeing something and doing it right then and there, or seeing something and doing it right then and there and like, like we've been talking about, you know, it's not doing a whole room, but just noticing something on your kitchen table or a pile of things that you need to deal with. That could take three minutes, right, but instead of waiting or saying, you know, okay, I'll do my 15 minutes on Tuesday, you know, and I'll get to it, then seeing it and like acting on it when you can, especially when it is like a two minute thing and when you can do that and I guess I should also say that is more after you do what I call the initial purge of, you know, really going through room by room and yes, that is a process, but once you've pared down and you feel like what you have is easy to manage, you are, of course, going to continue decluttering, because that's how you keep it clutter free, right Cause to manage. You are, of course, going to continue decluttering, because that's how you keep it clutter free, right Cause we're always going to have things coming in. I'll have people say like, well, you know, when is like, when is it going to be over? And I'm like it's not, but it will get easier. You know, it's like that's where I am.

Courtney Florey: 23:16

I was just getting rid of stuff today. I just had a blender that I'm like we's those like in the moment, I see it, I don't need it decisions, and that is like that's like the ideal end goal, because then it's not. You know, oh, I have to dedicate 30 minutes on a Wednesday afternoon. It's like I can see it and get rid of it, but before you can get there, I think, um, I would say several times a week, if you feel like right now, I can do, you know, and and if, if, if it makes you feel better, you can pencil it in, if you feel like you need to see it on a calendar. Or and I will say too. If you, if you want to make it happen, but you you're one to kind of be like, yeah, I'll declutter, but then it's like you know that time comes and then you don't do it, maybe pencil it in Like it's literally, like it's a priority right, put it on your to-do list, like it's something that is important to you to get done, you know, from two, 15 to two, 30, if that's your thing, mark it down. If not, loosely go into it you know and say, okay, I can look, I can look at the week ahead. I know that I have, you know, tuesday, thursday and Saturday. You know that I can do these sections For me.

Courtney Florey: 24:25

I'm somebody who I like structure but I also like flexibility. So I want to have, like, I want to know what's going on, I want to have a plan, but I also don't want to have to, like, follow rules. I want to do what I want to do right, and so you know you can kind of figure out what works for you. I don't want to say you know you have to follow a certain regimen, because I'm all about just kind of doing what feels best in the season that you're in. But hopefully that answered your question.

Lunden Souza: 24:49

Yeah, totally. I feel like I have the same duality of the brain like you said. It's like I want things to be scheduled and planned out. I want to know what I'm going to tackle but nobody's going to tell me when to do it not even myself sometimes, which is funny but nobody's going to tell me when to do it not even myself sometimes, which is funny. But yeah, you said the initial purge and then you mentioned graduation. I know that's kind of like the beginning and the end goal. What other steps do you walk your clients through from that initial purge to graduation? Or what are, yeah, next steps or even setbacks that you may be seeing from people? It's like they got to the initial purge but then maintenance might be sticky or a struggle and like, what are some tips we can give in that kind of gray middle area?

Courtney Florey: 25:35

Yeah. So I know, in the beginning, especially once you start, you know you can feel motivated, Like we talked about. You've built some momentum, you feel really good. But what can happen, especially if you don't have support or community or it's just someone holding you accountable? Sometimes people can kind of fall off right, Because it's like I feel really good, but then something happens, life happens, something comes up and or or maybe you did the easy stuff and then you kind of got to the harder things and it's like ah, and you kind of throw in the towel and then, um, you may stop for a while or you may think you know, oh, it just isn't for me, or you may go to organizing because it feels easier. That will sometimes happen, Um, but I encourage people to um, either find like an accountability partner, someone to do it with, or, you know, be in a community, because I just I know that having that ongoing support is so key because you know, even if you can hear, you know your friends doing it with you, or you have people who are doing it alongside you.

Courtney Florey: 26:33

It makes it feel more fun, it makes you feel less alone, because sometimes it can feel lonely. Like I said, it's not always the most fun thing to do it, because sometimes it can feel lonely. Like I said, it's not always the most fun thing to do. It can be, but if you're just trudging through it, it can be easy to just say, okay, I'm done, I'm not going to keep going.

Courtney Florey: 26:51

I think having support and also being really mindful about what you're bringing into your home as you're letting things go, because something that I will see happen is that people are so diligent about letting things go, Because something that I will see happen is that people are so diligent about letting things go, they're bringing their donations but they're still shopping pretty frequently.

Courtney Florey: 27:09

Or things are just coming in because of life and you know they may not be letting things go as quickly as they're coming in. And so I'll have people say, well, I decluttered, but you know, three weeks ago, but now, like, this space is a mess again. What happened? I don't know. It could be, because maybe they just need to get rid of more, or maybe they have things coming in, um that they're purchasing or, um, you know that are just coming in their house. So I always say be mindful of your shopping habits, that is. I guess that is a huge piece of it too, Because, yeah, when we think of decluttering, we think of sending things out, but we also have to be cautious of what's coming in.

Lunden Souza: 27:51

Yeah, and that's a whole deep-rooted area to uncover too. Talk about decluttering, like our physical space. The work I do and what I love is helping people declutter and organize their internal space and their nervous system responses and their triggers and root causes to different things. But is it okay to have a junk drawer or a closet that you throw things in? Is the ultimate goal to really like know what you have and know where everything is, or could you get to like a 90% where we live is good, but we have this one drawer and this one closet where, like, things go until we figure out what to do with things?

Courtney Florey: 28:35

Yeah, totally, because in my whole approach is, you know, realistic, tangible decluttering. It's not about perfection. It's not about having a realistic, tangible decluttering. It's not about perfection. It's not about having a, you know, perfect home. It's not even really about being a minimalist, and you know you can define that in different ways but it's not about, you know, having your, you know, three pairs of socks and two jeans and five tops that you rotate through. You know some people may want to do that rotate through.

Courtney Florey: 29:02

You know some people may want to do that, but what I'm talking about here is really getting down to what you need, not just what you need, but you know what you feel like is serving you in this season. So it will look different for everybody. So some I'd say most people probably do have a junk drawer or a closet or you know something where things do go to die and eventually you get to them. But you feel like you know you can function in your home and maybe that's what it is is that you know you feel like your home is easy enough to manage and you're not feeling bogged down or like you don't want to spend time in your home. I've had many people share like I would just rather be out. We're always going out doing things because my house just makes me feel so anxious. So I feel like if you feel like you can rest in your house, if you can manage it, then I'd say that's good.

Lunden Souza: 29:49

Yeah, and being able to relax and come into that I'm home kind of state, not like, oh shit, I'm home, I want to go somewhere to escape that. I can see how having no junk drawers and having one or two, it could be different environments and different responses depending on the person and what they've decided is their like. Not perfect, but you know what I mean. What's their complete, what their comfortable looks like. One thing I'm thinking of when it comes to my parents and also one of my friends and you're married too and I'm a Lunden party of one, so I'm with my stuff and it's my things. But I remember my mom very much being like a everything has a place and gets put away type of feeling, whereas my dad would have like a pile of the clothes that he likes to wear when he goes out and walks and exercises in the morning. So instead of putting that back, it was just like shoes and clothes gone on a pile in the side of the corner of the room. And then I think of my friend who their house is like oh immaculate, she does such a great job. She's like she would be all over this conversation and love it, but her husband has this like corner of the countertop where he puts, like the mail, his keys, like it's just like his spot. How do couples manage that, where you're like, want to keep things tidy, but then you're bugged by the piles or and she'll say things like oh I hate that corner of the countertop, it's my least favorite place in the house, cause it's just like all of, but for him it feels like that's my stuff. So as I navigate, you know, I can open up whatever. So like in relationship dynamics. If a mom, let's say, you know, gets super excited about decluttering and organizing, how much is getting the husband on board to it and then like, how much do you kind of just have to let it go a little bit if that's what helps the person feel at home in their space?

Lunden Souza: 31:38

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Lunden Souza: 32:35

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Courtney Florey: 33:36

Also a good question and this is something that I've, that's even shifted for me in my own life over the years, because I remember when we first got married actually funny story, when we were dating at the time my husband but he moved into a new place and I was helping him put his clothes away, unpack and this and that, and he had a bunch of clothes that were his work clothes that at the time I was like, oh, these are like ratty, you know they're trash, I can help them out. So I so I literally threw them away and I wasn't a decluttering coach at the time either, which is funny. Um, but I threw him away and he came home and he's like, where am I? Where like 60% of my clothes? And I'm like, oh, they're in the trash. And he, yeah, he was like okay, so he wasn't happy about that, but anyway. So that's what I always suggest not to do don't go in and touch.

Courtney Florey: 34:30

You know, especially, I mean, your kid's stuff is different, but or it can be, but husband's, you know, spouse's stuff. It's like you can encourage them and you can, I mean, just similar to your kids. You know, lead by example. You start with your stuff and a lot of the time, they will eventually see the benefits that you've experienced. They'll see, you know, the changes that you've had. And I want to say a good majority of the time. My clients will say, and sometimes it takes time, you know, it's not always quick, but they'll say eventually their husband asked to hey, can we set aside this time to declutter the garage together? Kids went to grandma's house I'm thinking specifically and they did that or he'll start doing some of his own things. And sometimes it is even like a rewiring of the brain or an unlearning, depending on how they were raised. Because sometimes you know we have, if we have different childhoods or, um, I know sometimes like if people grew up with either not a lot of things they want to hold on to things now because they want to have enough, they want to feel like they have what they need or if they grew up with a lot of things, sometimes they have a lot of things as an adult because they weren't taught how to declutter.

Courtney Florey: 35:45

And I always say too, decluttering is. It's not innate, it's actually a learned skill. And I think that takes some of the pressure off of women, especially women, because sometimes we feel like we should know these things. We should know how to keep a tidy home, and there can be the shame or this guilt around it. I've had quite a few people share that, but sometimes it is something you have to learn as an adult. So anyway, all that being said, I would say start with you, start with your things, not theirs, and you know, depending on. I'd say if you can, if you can like, manage your home and live in it comfortably. But there's the keys or the pile of clothes, because my husband does that too. He has his work clothes that he it's like. They're not dirty but they're not clean until they're like in the pile and it's like in it. Sometimes it drives me nuts, but I've learned to just let it go.

Lunden Souza: 36:42

Yeah, pick and choose your battles, let it go. I like what you said about unlearning and unlearning your ways as being the right ways and being able to learn more about the way your spouse was raised and the way it maybe impacted how they are now whether it's not having a lot so wanting a lot now, or just like things were in piles when they grew up, so things in piles now just make sense. And being able to connect in that way, I think, is really powerful. I think connecting with our own inner child is beautiful, and then also with our partner or our friends and seeing like, hmm, this is where it might have came from, instead of me shaming them out of it, how can I just lead by example and love on them a little bit more? I like that a lot.

Lunden Souza: 37:26

Yesterday, not thinking about what we were going to do today I knew you were on my podcast today, but I wasn't cleaning because I knew you were going to be on my podcast, but I was about 435 and I was like, oh, I just was kind of like winding down for the day. It would have been very easy for me to just like chill and be cozy, which is no problem, but earlier that day I was on a call with a group of people. We're starting a new community and kind of business together and one of the things we talked about was decluttering our internal space to make room for new. Right, we can live in copy-paste reality, just like we mentioned, in our physical world, like things were messy. So things are messy now. Right, copy-paste, just whatever.

Lunden Souza: 38:08

But in order to avoid some of that copy-paste especially energetically when it comes to business and creating something new, getting rid of limiting beliefs and things like that, I was like you know what?

Lunden Souza: 38:18

I'm going to clean my apartment, not because I'm like, oh it's dirty and I need to clean, but I'm going to think about the internal cleansing and cleaning out the junk drawers within my own mindset and within my own nervous system and body, and using a different intention to put towards the cleaning rather than like I need to declutter because things are messy and clutter equals I can't be at home or whatever. We make it mean. Right, we can go down this like autopilot of thoughts, and I hadn't really done that before. I mostly would just like turn on some music, sing the songs and before you know it, everything was clean. But that was really helpful for me yesterday to be like what's happening in my personal professional life that I can bring to this necessary process of cleaning, and that was really helpful for me. I don't know if you do that or if that's helpful for people you work with, but that really helped me yesterday for sure.

Courtney Florey: 39:11

Yeah, I know that when you declutter your physical spaces, a lot of the time it does feel like either an internal declutter or a mental declutter. I know, especially when we talk about, like, the mental load of moms or even of busy women. It checks off that to-do list which it's like. Okay, the physical list, that physical task was checked off. But, like you said, it's also that mental task of either of knowing you need to do it or of, kind of like, stripping away that excess.

Lunden Souza: 39:51

Yeah, I was like I think I'm going to do that again, Like just bring an intention to my cleaning session, whatever it might be. That was really helpful and I was into it. And then I was listening to Taylor Swift, which I usually do when I clean, but somehow the song Enchanted was speaking to me in new ways and I was like, oh, it was great to not force myself to clean but to bring a different intention to that space. Do you work with people remotely or do you just work with people in person on this decluttering process? Just because I know people listening are probably like wait, how do I get her help?

Courtney Florey: 40:26

Yes, I do work with them remotely, so it's all online, primarily through my online community.

Lunden Souza: 40:35

Okay, I love that, and we'll have you talk more about that too. I want to talk about one other thing that you do, which is actually how Courtney and I met. So I run a Beauty Counter business, which I love all of the clean beauty and skincare products that I use and Courtney is really good at making the business of Beauty Counter simple, just in the way she does in people's homes. She also has done that through creating emails and email templates and guidelines that make the implementation process even easier, and so that just reminds me of like okay, just like someone might ask for your help in decluttering their home and be provided systems and processes for that that are helpful and not doing it alone, being in community, being with others. That was something I reached out to.

Lunden Souza: 41:24

I'm like, oh my gosh, it took me 90 minutes to implement the structure and setup that you created for my emails to go out with specific intentions, timelines, all the things that it reminded me, and hopefully people listening too is like making things simple doesn't mean it's an island to your own, it's not just you doing it for yourself.

Lunden Souza: 41:47

You mentioned inviting friends over or asking people to help, whatever, and that might be sticky and weird when it comes to cleaning, but I feel like we need help in everything that we do. We're not meant to do things alone. Being in that community is helpful and that really reminded me of like, oh, that saved me hours, if not days, probably weeks of what you did and generated and created, and then I can go in, tweak it, make it my own, schedule it the way that I do. How did that start? I know that you do Declutter and Dwell and help people in their physical spaces, but when did you decide? Oh hey, I have a talent to make things simpler in people's business, specifically in Beauty Counter business, because I just feel like, oh, I don't know how I ever did it without you and I'm excited to continue to collaborate in ways to make my business simpler as well.

Courtney Florey: 42:40

Yes, so I have a story and you actually know her, her name's Shay, but I was helping her with email, with just her emails. I was running Declutter and Dwell at the time and just wanted another source of income and so I started doing well, it's funny because I marketed it as VA work but it really just ended up being emails. And so I started just helping Shay simplify her emails. And then she actually had the idea like what if you create this template that can be duplicatable, so you know I can use it, my team can use it, you know friends can use it, whoever. Because you know she was already. You know she was a consultant.

Courtney Florey: 43:26

I wasn't, I knew about, I knew about clean beauty kind of in general, but she knew she knew the community within Beauty Counter and so she was like you know what if you created this template, that could really serve people? And so I thought, okay, and so from there it it started about a year ago and it just kind of blossomed from there. And it wasn't until recently with it I don't know, maybe a month or two ago that I realized. Oh wait, I actually help people simplify their business. Like I don't know, maybe a month or two ago that I realized, oh wait, I actually help people simplify their business, like I wasn't thinking of it in that lens. But when I stepped back I realized, oh, I really do. You know, I really can help people simplify their homes and also their businesses. So I thought that was cool.

Lunden Souza: 44:11

Yeah, and I love it how you did it, and then realized afterwards oh wait, this is what. What's in alignment with what I already do? Right, it's cool how our interests and areas we might be find us in lands that are familiar. We're like wait, actually I simplify people's houses and businesses. So if you are with Beauty Counter or you want to get with Beauty Counter, you want to get with Courtney too, because she makes just streamlining email so much simpler, and I love the way that you do it, because you have these templates which everybody gets. But then there's like little blurbs that are like insert your story here or put your favorite product here. So there's room for us to make it personal, but we don't have to start everything from scratch, because running a business, especially remotely, and then wanting to have the freedom of time and, like we talked about, I don't want to do it, but I do want to do it.

Lunden Souza: 45:01

It made it so much simpler to be like oh, there's a resource that I can utilize that still keeps the personalness in my business, but I don't have to do everything from step one to implementation, and so I wanted to point that out too, because I just feel so grateful for the way that you've helped me simplify my business, and I love that story. I love Shay. She's so wonderful, great, yeah, we have such a great team. So the more people that I meet within the ripple of the ripple of beauty counter, the more I'm like yes, I love it. Where can people connect with you before we close social media, your online community, whatever you say, I'll, of course, write in the description below, so it's super simple and easy for simple, just like you do, for everyone to find, but let us know how we can connect with you, whether it's to declutter our home, simplify our home or simplify our business whether it's to declutter our home, simplify our home or simplify our business.

Courtney Florey: 46:02

Yeah, so you can connect with me on Instagram at declutterand dwell, and then I have my membership community If you want to, if you want that ongoing support while you're decluttering. That's called the simplicity society, so we'd love to have you join us there. And then, if you are a beauty counter consultant, you want to connect with me on instagram.

Lunden Souza: 46:17

It is @ your bc biz bestie, cool, and I'll put all those links in the description and I was just thinking about, I had this visual of like inviting friends over and going to different friends houses and, instead of it being about food or drinks not that that can't be involved, but, like you know, going to Courtney's house and there's five of us and we're going to have, you know, maybe a glass of wine, but we're going to help Courtney declutter that room or that space and then the next month or the next week or whatever we choose, going to this person's house.

Lunden Souza: 46:48

I just love creating things that are like, not your normal, like people are. Let's go to your house and have drinks, let's go here and do this, but it's like when we can really pinpoint the areas that we're struggling and utilize, help and make it fun and make it like a party or something cool. Hopefully anyone listening you start that. Call your friends, hit them up. We're going to my place first, help me with this cupboard. Next week we'll go to your house and help you with that drawer. I want to live in a world that's like that, yeah.

Courtney Florey: 47:18

I love that and I agree I think, when you can make it fun, whatever it is, just make it fun, right. Like you said, turn music on, grab your favorite beverage, invite your friends over, like make the experience something that you can enjoy.

Lunden Souza: 47:32

Thank you so much, Courtney, for being here. Thank you guys for listening and we'll see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self-love and sweat. This podcast is a Hitspot. Austria production.