Birthday Reflections: 6 Life Lessons at 35 Years Old

Birthday’s are such a great time for retrospection, introspection, learning and growth. In this episode, Lunden shares 6 powerful learnings from her 35th birthday. Tune in and see if any of these learnings resonate with you.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
- EP 124 with Gary Goldstein: https://selflovesweatthepodcast.buzzsprout.com/957238/12817291-story-telling-showing-up-for-your-dreams-with-gary-goldstein-producer-of-pretty-woman-more

- GOLOV 20 Meditation with Dr. Joe Dispenza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZXVix4TNOI

- Earth Tones Sweatsuit: https://www.earthtonesus.com/

TIMESTAMPS TO HELP YOU NAVIGATE THIS EPISODE:
(0:00) Intro
(0:21) FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
(8:30) Six Learnings from 35 Years of Life
(22:35) Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
(25:27) Finding Balance Between Independence and Connection
(33:40) The Power of Being Present

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 2:26

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat The Podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/ calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot com forward slash calendar. Go, get yours for free and enjoy this episode. Happy today.

Lunden Souza: 4:34

Welcome back to the podcast. Today we're talking about and I want to share with you, some learnings, five learnings that I've learned in 35 years. I recently had my birthday. My birthday was last month, at the time of recording this, on the 18th of November, and I think birthdays are such a beautiful time for reflection. I don't know how you do it in your birthday or around the time of your birthday, but I think it's a really great time for like retrospection and looking back and just reflection, and I always write down some learnings that I received this year, or some learnings that have been really present in my life, that have also been extra present in my life this year, and that's what I want to share with you today.

Lunden Souza: 5:25

Today, if you're watching the video. If you're listening, of course, you can't see what I'm wearing, but I'm like, so cozy. I'm in this sweatsuit that my niece gifted me for my birthday. She's five, so my mom picked it out, but it's so cozy and I just feel like, yeah, cozy vibes today. The sweatsuit is actually made by a friend of mine from my hometown. The brand is called Earthtones. This is not an ad or anything. I just love it so much so I was like I'm going to be living in this sweatsuit this winter and I just feel, yeah, so cozy. So if you're watching the video, you'll catch a drift of my cozy vibes. If not, I'll link the description in the description, the link to this sweatsuit. It comes in black and brown and I got the black one and now, after having the black one for a few days, I'm convinced I need the brown one too, because it's just so warm and so cozy.

Lunden Souza: 6:23

But yeah, 35. It's kind of weird. I don't know how old I feel. I definitely remember when I was younger and my mom. I remember when my mom turned 30. I also remember when my mom turned 33. And, yeah, it's just interesting having that shift in perspective of being a kid and thinking, oh, my gosh, your 30s are so old. I remember in high school having a close friend, a part of our friend group, that was 25. And I remember being 17 or 18 and being like, oh my gosh, 25? That's so old. But now, at 35, and I can only speak for myself, gosh, I feel so like wow, I'm ready to go. I feel whatever old is. I feel the opposite. I feel vibrant, I feel ready to serve, I feel good in my skin, I feel confident, even in my insecurities, and, yeah, it's just been such a powerful year. At the end of last year, of end of 2022, I fully retired from fitness, completely.

Lunden Souza: 7:39

Maybe you have been following me through that journey. Maybe this is the first episode you've ever listened to before, so maybe you have no idea about my story or anything. And that's cool too, and not really intentionally, but I didn't do much this year, like I did. Actually, I did a lot. My business grew a lot, and I also took a lot of time for introspection and for like, yeah, just learning more, rooting down deeper and what it means for me to be a master life coach and master NLP practitioner, what it feels like and means to not be a fitness coach anymore. Right, I identified for so long as the run tastic fitness coach Lunden and maybe you are part of that journey as well that I think sometimes we become so tied to a certain identity that there's this like death process, there's this like breakup process, if you will.

Lunden Souza: 8:39

But at the end of last year so like this time last year I just knew I was like, nope, I don't want to do fitness anymore. I don't want to guide people on their workouts, I want to guide people on their work ends and, of course, I still love working out, working out as a huge part of my life. Physical fitness there's one of the learnings I want to share with you today talks about physical fitness, but just for me now it's very different, and so I'm just so grateful in this moment, right now. I'm grateful that I took that leap, that I decided to jump, that I decided to pivot, because I think I can remember to. I think I can remember times and I'm sure whoever's listening if you're listening you resonate with like sometimes we tell ourselves we no longer want to do something, or we tell ourselves that we want to do something, and then a year goes by, two years goes by, and we're still like doing the same thing or not doing the same thing, right? And so when I look back at a year ago from today, I'm really like, wow, I took action, I made moves. I didn't know what was going to happen. It was very much the unknown.

Lunden Souza: 9:50

I had been doing fitness since I was 17. So it was like, yeah, over a decade, over 15 years, of just like sharing about fitness, workouts, all the things and, of course, I had some fears and doubts of like, okay, will this be received well, will I be able to build a business out of this? Will I still be able to work from anywhere in the world, visit my family whenever I want and still make maximum impact with my purpose? Will I still be able to inspire others to get out of their comfort zone and bring joy to life, even though I'm not, you know, getting them to do jump squats and like burpees and all the things? So, yeah, that's just kind of where I'm at right now, really thinking about wow, not only this like year, because it's my birthday, but also thinking about this past year, because this was a very pivotal, pivotal, pivotal time for me. So, yeah, I wrote down like I said oh, one, two, three, four. I actually have six, I thought I had five. I got six.

Lunden Souza: 10:56

Six learnings from my 35 years of life, whether they're new learnings or things that I feel like I've rooted down in even more. I have my list of notes right in front of me and we'll just jump right in. So the first learning is get rid of the shoulds and the supposed tos and define your own map and momentum. I think I've heard it a lot too like when are you going to get married? Do you want to have kids? Like, where do you live? You're kind of here, there and everywhere, right, and I really am so satisfied with my life and my ability to silence some of those shoulds and supposed tos, some of those societal norms that people just think like oh, by a certain age, that's just like what you do, right, and I think energetically.

Lunden Souza: 11:57

I've felt some of that. And then also, like there's some members of my family like I've shared, you know, stories about my very vocal says whatever he wants, grandfather, which now I'm beginning to love that even more about him, even though it was really challenging at first. You know he'll say things oh, like, by your age you should be doing this, or why aren't you doing this. You know, and I just think my major learning is okay, it's time to silence some of those shoulds and supposed tos. But it's not enough.

Lunden Souza: 12:27

I think I've heard myself a lot say, whether say it out loud or say it internally like don't tell me what to do, like you can't tell me what to do, like kind of that rebel child inside of me. But, like I said in this point, like, define your own map and momentum right. Don't just be anti shoulds and supposed tos. Actually define what that road looks like, define what progress and momentum is for you. And I feel like I really did a good job of that this year. I spent a lot of time alone. I distanced myself from a lot of friends and other people.

Lunden Souza: 13:03

I really just felt that need and that urge to go in and ask myself okay, what Lunden think she should do? What does Lunden think she's supposed to do, and become more in alignment with that, instead of letting other people tell me what I should or supposed to, what I should be doing or what I'm supposed to be doing. Because I think sometimes being like anti that and like don't tell me what to do, we end up being a little bit stagnant. It's like, okay, yes, thanks for your input, I don't really care what you think about what I should do or what I'm supposed to do, but I'm not gonna stay stagnant, I'm actually gonna move towards my map and my momentum and generate that myself, and so that's the first learning is really silencing those shoulds and supposed to's, and sometimes it's hard because those shoulds and supposed to's come from people that are dear to us, but oftentimes the people that throw the shoulds and supposed to's towards us it's just a reflection of them, right? It's like they think that, you know, I think sometimes, when we give ourselves permission to like do whatever the fuck we want, it allows people to see areas of their life that they didn't do whatever the fuck they wanted, and it can be triggering, and so just honoring that and understanding that I think is really important. Sometimes people will vocalize what they think you should do, because that's what they did or that's the path that they think they're supposed to be on. So I think we can just like politely shake it off and say thank you, but no, thank you, I will tell myself my shoulds and I will tell myself my supposed to's. So that's the first one. The second one is this year.

Lunden Souza: 14:52

I've really learned and felt and experienced how profound working out is when it's used as a tool for the work ends. I'll say that again Working out is such a powerful tool for the work ends. I think it just becomes so much better when you get in flow and you use your workouts as a tool to push through those hard life things. Right To do things that are hard. To put yourself purposely in discomfort, to purposely get out of your comfort zone in a workout can transcend into so many other areas of our lives and I remember many years of my life working out because I wanted to have a nice butt and I wanted my shoulders to be more defined and I wanted to have better abs or whatever.

Lunden Souza: 15:44

But it's really been so profound to utilize my workouts to kind of parallel my work ends and I've done like so much more walking than running this year because walking for me is just super grounding, it's relaxing, I can look at other things, it's no longer a need to like, oh, I have to run to do my cardio. Right, I haven't been really called to do a lot of races this year when it comes to running. I did kind of have some spurts of running throughout this year where I would go like two or three days in a row just like run and really break through some of the barriers I was working through in my personal life. But other than that, to go along with number one, there's not a lot of shoulds and supposed tos lingering when it comes to my workouts like there was before, and so I've been doing a lot of Pilates because I just feel like it's helping my core and my back get so strong and I feel like that core strength has been so profound in a lot of the work-ins I've been doing, and so utilizing workouts as a tool to push through hard life things is so much better than waking up in the morning and working out because you think you're fat or you think you need to tone up, or you think you should or supposed to look a certain type of way. You think you're supposed to have a thigh gap, whatever. You ate a lot of food yesterday, so you're supposed to work out to burn it off.

Lunden Souza: 17:13

I just feel like my relationship with working out has changed tremendously, in the best way possible, because it's no longer a tool to look a certain way. It's a tool to feel a certain way, it's a tool to push my limits and do hard things. So when life inevitably gives me hard challenges, I can be like oh, I know what it feels like to feel the burn and do it anyway. I know what it's like to face that discomfort head on on purpose and do it anyway. And so that's. The second one is just that transition of working out being a tool to help the work-ins, instead of it being about the way that you look, because sorry, not sorry we're all gonna get old and gray, we're all gonna be saggy, we're all gonna not look at our prime, and working out can still be present. Working out can always be something that we use in life. Number three Number three is actually a title of a book that I read that I love. It's called Put your Ass when your Heart Wants To Be, and that learning is just so profound.

Lunden Souza: 18:30

In fact, I was just on a one-on-one call with one of my life coaching clients and she lives somewhere that's just not ideal for her and she's struggling with meeting people that are interested in the same things that she's interested in. And we were talking about it today and I'm like, girl, where the people that you wanna be around? Where are they hanging out? Where are they? Go, put your ass there, like, go physically, put your body in the space where people that you would wanna hang out with are.

Lunden Souza: 19:02

I had Gary Goldstein on my podcast. He's the producer of Pretty Woman, mothman Prophecies and some other really smashing Hollywood hits and he's become a dear friend of mine. And on the podcast he talked about when he moved, I think it. I don't remember where it was. I guess he moved to LA or whatever and he noticed there was like the sports club where during the week there were people playing tennis, like when normally people would be at work. There was like a lot of people at the sports club like playing tennis, working out, going to the sauna, whatever. And one of the things he said, like he could have said oh my gosh, like who are those people? They don't work, they must not be working hard or doing the thing to move the needle. But what he said and he says this in the episode and I'll link it in the show notes he says, oh, who are those people? Those must be freelance creatives, those must be my friends waiting to meet me. And so he used that as an opportunity to put his ass where his heart wanted to be. He's like what do I got to do to be able to play tennis on a Tuesday at two o'clock Like in that story of shoulds and supposed tos, we often think like, oh, we're supposed to get a solid job and we have to work nine to five and we, it should look like this.

Lunden Souza: 20:18

And he was kind of like, nah, actually, I'm gonna go find my people, I'm gonna go find those people. And I think that's really been profound in my life because we talk a lot. We can talk a lot and be like I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to have this present in my life. But talk is nothing without action, right, talk is nothing unless we put our ass where our heart wants to be. And recently, this year, I moved to Utah, which I'll share in kind of the next point in terms of like clarity and stuff like that. But you know, I knew that I wanted to be somewhere different and so, yeah, despite the discomfort, despite all of it, it was kind of like, okay, where do I want to be? What does that look like? And just doing the thing, even when it's hard.

Lunden Souza: 21:10

One day I was on a hike in Utah by myself and I met another girl who was hiking by herself and we actually met because we there was like a detour on the hike If you use the All Trails app I love the All Trails app there was some notes and comments from other people who had recently done the hike. It was like, hey, there's like a detour on this hike. It's kind of hard to navigate. So just like, be mindful, you know. So her and I both kind of got a little bit lost trying to find this detour, and so we met up with each other and we just kind of did the rest of the trail together and on our way out we exchanged numbers and we just kind of started doing new things together. So she introduced me to another friend of hers and the three of us started to do new things together.

Lunden Souza: 22:03

And the first thing we did is we went to the University of Utah on Wednesday nights the astronomy department pulls out all their telescopes and you can look up at the different stars and constellations and planets and stuff. So they invited me and I was like, okay, I want to do new things, I want to meet new people, I want to counter some of the programming that I have, which is to recluse and to be on my own and to do things solo. And even though I love that about me like I love that I like to be alone, I love that, I love my alone time, I love that I enjoy spending time with myself I know that I'm not making the impact that I'm here to make when I do it by myself, right? So I put my ass where my heart wanted to be, which was like in this open space, and so we went to the University of Utah. We also went to this bookstore that was having like a fall equinox Ayurvedic workshop. So we did that. We've done walking meditations together. I invited her and a group of people over that I've just kind of met throughout the last few months and we're getting ready to do like a breathwork class together. I invited her to come to one of my breathwork classes that I take at this new place I started going to in Utah.

Lunden Souza: 23:18

So doing the things that scare you a little bit, right, like pushing your limits a little bit, putting your physical body where you say you want to be, it's one thing to say, oh, I want to have new experiences, I want to meet new people I want to connect with other like minded individuals. But just saying it and then sitting on your butt at home complaining why you don't have it, is not going to get you any closer to where your heart wants to be. And so maybe you can ask yourself okay, the people I want to meet in my life, the person I want to be, if there were other people that had that in common, where would they be hanging out? Where would they be, you know, doing their extracurricular activities? Where would they be eating, like what would they be doing? How can I go and put myself in, like insert myself into that?

Lunden Souza: 24:04

And I think that book is really profound too.

Lunden Souza: 24:06

I forget the author off the top of my head. Well, I have my phone here next to me. I'm going to say it really quick and I'll also link it in the show notes Put your ass where your heart wants to be. And that's the book let's see Okay by Steven Pressfield. He's also the author of the Legend of Baggravance and it's a really good book. It's like each at the each page is like. Some of the chapters are like one sentence, some of them are a couple pages. So it's a very fast I don't want to say easy read, because some of the passages I had to go back and like reread, like what does that mean to me? What specifically was he saying? But I think he does did a really good job with that book and it's a nice book. You can just kind of pick up any time and kind of open up anywhere and get some value. So I think that's a really good book.

Lunden Souza: 25:00

Number four hey, really quick, I want to interrupt the podcast for just a minute to tell you about one of my favorite supplements for hair, skin, nails, digestive and gut health, and that is Snap Supplements Super Greens with Collagen. Now, if you're following me on social media, you've probably seen me post about this a bunch because, honestly, this product tastes amazing and it's jam packed with nutrients, like I said, to support healthy hair, skin and nails. It helps support detoxification, a healthy immune system and there's even probiotics in there for a healthy gut. It's non GMO, no sugar added soy free, grass fed collagen and every scoop is going to give you seven grams of protein and this is why I love it, because it's not like a protein shake, it's just a scoop of powder. It tastes amazing. I put it in water or, if I want more hydration, I'll put it in coconut water and mix it up, and it's like having a nice refreshing beverage that's packed with a bunch of super greens and protein. So what I'm super excited about is that for listening to the podcast, you'll get this discount here, nowhere else. But for listening to the podcast, you can save 25% off on all your Snap Supplement purchases, including the super greens with collagen, and you do that by using code LUNDEN25 at checkout. That's L- U- N-D- E- N 25. L- U- N- D- E- N 2 5 to get 25% off at checkout. You can shop on snap supplements. com or you can shop on my website, lifelikelunden. com/ supplements and you'll see there there's already an additional 10% taken off. But you, because you're a podcast listener, you're going to get 25% off when you use the code LUNDEN 25 at checkout L- U- N- D -E- N 25 at checkout to get your snap supplements super greens and collagen and all your snap supplements for 25% off.

Lunden Souza: 26:57

Now let's get back to the show. Get clear on what you want, without attaching to specifics, in order to turn up your magnet. I'll say that again get clear on what you want, without attaching to specifics, in order to turn up your magnet. So basically, like getting clear on what you want without it needing to be something specific that you can comprehend in this moment. Sometimes we think, oh my gosh, it has to be that specific job, it has to be that specific house, it has to be that specific scenario and we get ourselves kind of tunnel visioned in this one particular outcome. And I was on a call with my coach Scott. He's been my life coach, I talk about him a lot. He's been my life coach for like four or five years and we meet every single Monday and when I kind of had that calling that it was time to put my ass where my heart wants to be and like change environments a little bit.

Lunden Souza: 27:53

I wanted to leave California. I didn't know where. I made this list of what I wanted, which was like Alexa off, sorry about that. I said a timer. I made this list about what I wanted in my life and what I wanted in my new home and it was like I want to place that safe, I want to place that's clean, I want a place that has amazing hikes, I want a place that's not densely populated, I want a place that I can go.

Lunden Souza: 28:28

I kept having this vision of like a r iver or a creek, with like rocks and my feet, with my feet in it, and it wasn't like a very deep river or creek, it was just like just enough to go up to like my ankles and put my feet in there and walk on the rocks. And so I just really focused on that. I got clear on what I wanted. Like the physical, yeah, like the sensory experiences, like what am I gonna see, what am I gonna smell, what am I gonna experience? And after googling a lot, I was like, oh, you talk kept coming up right. So, and then, now that I'm here in Utah, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Not only is this exactly where I'm supposed to be, but this is exactly where I want to be. And I wouldn't have known that if I would have chosen like, okay, I want to make a list, I need to live in you know Idaho, Wyoming, you know Montana, whatever. Like I just was really open to the sensory experience and I got really clear on that, and that, I believe, is what really turns up the magnet, because we're not so attached to a desired outcome. We're more looking for that sensory experience and like, quite frankly, there's a lot of places that are safe, not populated, have great hikes, right, there's like a lot of options I could have chosen, but it was really wonderful when I was like googling and found Utah and I realized that, and so sometimes we think I think we do this too With kids were like what do you want to be when you grow up?

Lunden Souza: 29:59

And I think the real question is is like how do you want to show up, what do you want to feel, and then allow whatever career path that's an alignment with that to show up there. Right, I think we try to get people to decide like, okay, I want to be a doctor or I want to be a teacher or I want to be this, but it's like actually like for me it was more of that experience too. Like I want time freedom. I don't want someone to be my boss. I want something that challenges me to learn new things and sparks my curiosity, right, so something where I can collaborate with amazing humans. Like. There's so many things that I think we miss the mark with kids. When we ask them what do you want to be when you grow up? It's like no, how do you want to feel what type of experiences do you want to have on a regular basis, and then decide which kind of hat fits that part. And so that's number four get clear on what you want, without attaching to the specifics, in order to turn up your magnet. Number five Protect your time, even if it means saying no to people that you love.

Lunden Souza: 31:03

I, this past week, have had to say no to some people in my life who asked for support and just different things, because when I really looked at, you know the experience I would want to have and the life I would want to have I realized that wasn't an alignment, because it was either taking too much of my time or taking too much of my attention, going in a direction that I just knew wasn't part of my path. And so saying no can be challenging, it takes a lot of practice and it's so necessary. I Remember last week having this conversation with someone in particular, and as soon as I hung up the phone after saying yes, I was like no, actually no. And then I was like okay, before I say no, let me look at my calendar, let me consolidate, let me look at things, and I realized, okay, I have about five hours to myself every week that's not spent doing client calls or Administrative tasks or whatever. And I was like, and with those five hours, I want them to myself. I want to be able to kind of do what I want when I want. And if I say yes to this, that'll probably take three or four of those hours each week and like that just doesn't feel in alignment with me.

Lunden Souza: 32:24

And so in my 35th year of learning, I realized how powerful no is and we can get caught up in thinking, okay, if I say no, what will this person think? What does it mean? But what I've kind of pivoted my brain to focus on, switched my mindset is like no, the more I say no to things that don't serve us, the louder and more profound my yeses are right, the more that I can serve the things I say yes to. If I say yes to everything, I'm going to be giving like 60% to all of my yeses, and so it was a little bit challenging to say no in some areas. But I did it and it's profound and it's powerful and it can be scary.

Lunden Souza: 33:09

I had a one-on-one client and I share this a lot the story because I think it's so powerful. But she had a situation where she said no in a, in a. In our work together we realized there was a lot of people pleasing, there was a lot of yeses being thrown around, even though it wasn't serving her, and so it was a very, let's say, small Situation to say no to right. She wasn't saying no to like the president, it was. She was saying no to somebody in regards to a pet cat and and Afterwards she goes. You know Lunden, even though I said no, I still kind of them thinking about what she might be thinking about me and I'm like, yeah, just because we do the thing doesn't mean we automatically poof fairy godmother, transform into somebody who just says no without any you know residual kind of peanut gallery chatter in the back of our head. Actually, that can still happen, but when we know, okay, I might have some chatter, but I do know that saying no is gonna be powerful for future me, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna say no, and so I love being able to fully lean into my yeses. And when I say yes, I know I have the capacity for it.

Lunden Souza: 34:23

In fact, one of the girls on my beauty counter team the clean skincare and makeup line that I sell she reached out to me today because I actually had reached out to her. I was like, hey, we're running a little promotion right now. I was like, hey, if you need anything from me for this promotion, let me know. I have a little bit of time, I could create content for this promotion, let me know. And she reached out to me and she was like no, actually we're reusing some of the content that we used for our last event because it was so good and we have a lot of new people in this event, so we're just gonna reuse it.

Lunden Souza: 34:54

And she actually honored me. She said you know, I love. What I love about you is that you won't offer to help unless you have the capacity, she goes. I knew that. The second you said hey, I can help, I can support if you need it. She's like. I knew that you meant it. I knew that you wouldn't have said can I help if you couldn't? She's like and I appreciate that about you and she's like and I know that because there's been times when you said no, when you just couldn't, or you didn't want to, or it wasn't an alignment, it didn't serve you, and so I really kind of took that compliment and gave myself like a little pat on the back to be like, yeah, I want to be that person who's in their integrity, who's like when I say yes, I can help you, it's because I can, and when I say no, it's because I can't. And and yeah, I'm really learning, actually not learning. I really love that about myself. I, yeah, good job me. Just a little moment of appreciation for myself. Okay, last one, and this is probably, if I had to rank them and I didn't, I was just typing out notes as I do on walks and whatever. So there's no particular order of importance, but I think that if I had to choose this, last one would probably be the most important.

Lunden Souza: 36:05

Learning, meditation and being able to get yourself in the present moment is everything, is everything. It can be so easy to live in the past. It can be so easy to still be living with the emotions from the past. I work with a lot of people who will be like, oh yeah, this happened 10 years ago, 12 years ago, 15 years ago, and their body is still living it as if it's happening now. So we can be living in the familiar past. We could also be living in the predictable future, where we look at our past and we say, because that happened in our past, that's probably what's going to happen in our future. Because people behaved this way in our past, that's how they're going to be in our future. And so we could be living in the past dwelling over that, or we could be anxious about the future, thinking that everything that happened in our past is going to repeat. And so that's why I love meditation, because it really is like, I say, those bicep curls for your brain where you're like no, when you go to do meditation and I don't know if you guys meditate, but I highly recommend meditation and I love the work of Dr Joe Dispenza. He's absolutely changed my life.

Lunden Souza: 37:18

I'll link in the show notes a YouTube meditation he has. It's a 15 minute meditation or maybe 20 minutes and it's all. Yeah, it's called Go Love 20, and it's really good. But ever since I've started meditating, when we meditate, there's thoughts that want to bring us back to our familiar self of like oh yeah, you got to call that person, you got to do this. Oh, remember when that person wronged you in fourth grade. We better go retaliate, like all these things that want to come up.

Lunden Souza: 37:50

And I think meditation is really bringing ourself back to the present moment, letting that thought pass, letting that feeling that wants to creep in see its way out, and coming back to the present moment. Coming back to the present moment, coming back to the present moment has been the best skill set and the best work in activity that I think everybody should meditate. If I'm going to throw a should and supposed to, I think everybody should meditate. It's so powerful and so profound to not let your body be the mind, to not let your body be like, okay, you know it's time to feel this type of way, or we have to do this, or we got to do this, or go, go, go, do, do, do. To be like, no, I'm the boss, like you will sit, body and you will stay, and you're going to sit in this chair. And, honestly, I do about an hour of meditation every day. If I can do more, I will, and on days when I only have, you know, 10 or 20 minutes, I'll do that too. But I really think meditation is one of the most underrated gifts we can give ourselves to be able to come back into that present moment and to be here now.

Lunden Souza: 39:00

And yeah, those are my six learnings. I'll just quickly go over them again. Number one get rid of the shoulds and supposed to's. Number two working out is a tool for the work ins. Number three put your ass where your heart wants to be. Number four get clear on what you want when it comes to the sensory experience, without attaching to the outcome. I really believe that's the magnet that draws the life we want to us. Number five protect your time, even if it means saying no to people that you love. And number six meditation and being able to get yourself into the present moment is everything.

Lunden Souza: 39:40

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you found value in it and if anything spoke to you, please feel free to share those aha moments with me. Write them down, share them with somebody that you trust and you're close to, but also feel free to share them with me. The best way to reach me is either email or Instagram, so if you subscribe to my newsletter and you get any email from me, just hit reply and send me a reply. All those replies go directly to me and I reply to them straight from me. There's nobody else that does that on my team. That's me. Or you can send me a DM on Instagram, and on Instagram, I'm lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N, and you can just send me a DM and be like hey, Lunden, I listened to the episode about your learnings in 35 years. Here's what came up for me. Or maybe you have some learnings from this year that you want to share and you want to open up.

Lunden Souza: 40:36

I always have space for that, yeah, and I guess, lastly, I'll say like thank you, like thanks to all of you. Well, thank you. If it's your first time listening, I'm so grateful that you pressed play on this, this episode, but also thank you to those of you who have been part of my journey for a really long time. I always love reading the messages that say like oh, I'm noticing a shift or I'm noticing a difference in you, or whatever. It's really powerful and really profound in my life and I really appreciate it a lot. So go out and spread your unis, go out and be kind, go out and love on others and we'll see you at the next episode.

Lunden Souza: 41:16

Bye, thank you so much for listening to this episode of self love and sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review this really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, Developed by self love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot. Austria production.