Fixed vs. Growth Mindset & How to embrace BOTH sides of you

Ever heard of fixed or growth mindsets? Do you know which one you lean more towards? In this episode Lunden does a brief overview of what a fixed mindset and growth mindset are and how to identify where you lean more. You will learn the difference between fixed and growth mindsets AND Lunden will share some common beliefs and phrases to help you recognize both even more.

Mentioned in this episode:
- Jan 2023 Issue Best Holistic Life Magazine: https://bestholisticlife.com

Timestamps to help you better navigate this episode:

(0:00) Intro
(0:26) FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
(2:10) Growth Mindset & Fixed Mindset
(4:55) What is a fixed mindset? What are the signs?
(7:19) Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
(9:15) What is a growth mindset? How to recognize it.
(10:16) 2 things to mention about growth & fixed mindset

Transcript

Lunden Souza: [00:00:00] Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers, and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host Lunden Souza.

Lunden Souza: [00:00:20] Hey, have you grabbed your free self love and sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something. Something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see on the top left corner of every single day there's a little checkbox in the calendar. And what that is, is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something, if you want to get more regular, doing a particular habit and routine, you can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your self love and sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden.com/calendar. Fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar and your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden.com/calendar Go get yours for free and enjoy this episode. 

Lunden Souza: [00:02:05] Happy today and welcome back to the podcast. Today we're talking about growth mindset and fixed mindset, what they are and most importantly, how to embrace both sides of you because there are going to be areas of your life where you are more, you're leaning more towards a growth mindset, and then there might be other areas of your life where you learn today, like, Oh, I might be a little bit more fixed in my mindset in that space. And so this was an article that I wrote for Best Holistic Life Magazine in their January issue, and I got a lot of feedback about this. I got a lot of yeah, just curiosity aha moments from people who read this article. And so, yeah, I just wanted to elaborate a bit more on that topic here on the podcast, especially if you're like me and you like audio content and you like to listen. So growth mindset and fixed mindset. So first of all, I just feel like craving growth and being growth oriented. Yeah, like accepting right where you are. But while craving growth and momentum in your life and in your impact, I think that's such a beautiful space to be and a place I always try to and coach my clients to, to come back to. It's like accepting this moment and knowing that so much greatness has come and so much more is available, right? So hopefully that is the direction or the feeling that you're working to come back to too.

Lunden Souza: [00:03:37] And if it's not, then maybe this sparked a little bit of a aha moment for you, but you're not going to be perfect and check all the boxes every single day. So as my best friend Allie would say, back up your dump truck. That's what she says. Like, stop trying to do the most, like stop chasing perfection and trying to control everything and instead, like, lean in, show up, participate in life, and ultimately see what you can learn. So even if you're listening to this and you're feeling like the opposite of growth in your life, I at least know you have at some point, right? You have it in you at some point. Since you're listening to this podcast, you felt the desire to grow into up level. So I think that even just by listening to this, even if you feel like, oh, things are moving slow, or maybe you would describe them as the opposite of growth, I believe that you've experienced some growth in your life from the way that you pursue growth, whether it's listening to podcasts or doing coaching, or maybe you are going to go read Best Holistic Life magazine, which is awesome because my articles in there and a bunch of articles with a lot of other coaches and experts, and so I just feel like, yeah, like I said, accepting where you are right now and ultimately where you are right now is in a space where you're listening to something to up level, listening to something that's going to impact your personal and professional growth, right? So before we dive right in and get all hyped up on the growth mindset today, let's talk about the other end of the spectrum really quick, the fixed mindset.

Lunden Souza: [00:05:05] So the fixed mindset says, I can't do this. I'm only good at certain things. I don't know how and I can't learn to do it because I just have this fixed amount of skills or this fixed skill set, and that's really all that I can do. Or this is too hard to figure out, and I can't figure out things that are hard and that I don't know. There's nothing to learn here. Maybe you just feel like, Oh, this is a waste of time. Like I don't want to learn anything. There's nothing to learn here. A fixed mindset also says there's only one way to solve that problem. Like this is A, B, and C, and this is how you do it. And that's the only way that we can get to the desired outcome. This is the only way to solve that problem. So a fixed mindset also takes feedback and criticism personally and doesn't enjoy doing things that they don't know how to do. Right. And we can think about someone that we might know or even ourselves where some people love feedback.

Lunden Souza: [00:05:59] Like, I love feedback. I'm always asking for feedback. I'm asking for that constructive criticism both personally and professionally. I love when there's something that I like don't know how to do, and it frustrates the heck out of me. And I'm like, No, I'm going to figure it out and I'm going to find a way. But sometimes people just feel like if they don't know how to do it, whatever, they make it mean about them, which is a totally different or a totally a topic we could totally go into. But what they mean, make it mean about them is just like, Yeah, they don't know how to enjoy that and how to lean into and potentially, yeah, try something new. So a fixed mindset essentially believes that they were born with the tools to do certain things and then there's other things that they weren't born with at all. It's fixed, it can't be developed. And a fixed mindset avoids challenges, it avoids feedback, and ultimately it's really limiting a growth mindset. Now, on the other side of the coin, now remember, this episode is about embracing both sides of you. So even though we were just in the fixed space and maybe there's moments that you've noticed that some of the things I listed in yourself or in others remember, there are opportunities for growth and yeah, a little bit of both, all mixed in there. So a growth mindset.

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Lunden Souza: [00:09:15] A growth mindset, believes in possibility, loves learning, finds a way, welcomes feedback and criticism, embraces challenges, craves learning and expansion, and knows that with effort in building new skills, further growth is always possible. Growth mindset likes learning about what they don't know and also allows like the empower like allows an empowering thoughts to be unlearned, right? So it's like craving the learning process but also craving the hey, the way I did things or what I believe to be true, like craving the unlearning process as well. And it allows the empowering, limiting beliefs just to find that closure and to make room for that growth and learning. So not stubbornly holding on to old ways of doing things. It's really like, yeah, this is the way I do them. But like, hey, if there's a better way to know this, to learn this, to do this, I'm open, right? So that's the growth mindset. Now, two things to mention. One of them I. I've already mentioned something beautiful and also something to be mindful of. So the beautiful thing is, like I said, there's a little bit of both in all of us fixed and growth and all the gray areas in between. And you know, they show up differently in different areas of our life. Right? And once we are aware that fixed and growth mindsets exist and we can have some authentic honesty and some awareness of kind of where we might lean, right, we can then evaluate and decide if we want to lean that way.

Lunden Souza: [00:10:53] Right? And then if we want to lean that way, we make more choices to lean that way. And if we don't, we make more choices to lean the way that we do want to lean, right? So that's really where this work lies is kind of like, Och, both exist. Which way do I want to go more towards? And then the other thing is something to be mindful of is I believe that the growth mindset recognizes the fixed mindset in itself and then also compassionately, compassionately keyword, compassionately recognizes it in others. So it's not like standing on the high and mighty growth mindset platform and being like, Yeah, I'm going to tell others like how to do it and how to grow. I also believe that the growth mindset makes room for growth in self and in others, and growth mindset is excited for opportunities for growth in self and others, right? Like part of the growth and the like, the person that's lifting you up and like, I'm interlacing my fingers for those of you that are listening to this. But you know, when you give someone a boost, right, where you like interlace your fingers and like you let your friend, like, step on it to, like jump over the fence or like get over whatever it is you need to be going or whatever it is you're going.

Lunden Souza: [00:12:07] I remember doing that as kids, like, yeah, get over fences or like, get up on a bike or just do whatever. And so I really feel like the growth mindset is there to interlace the fingers and allow that step up and then also be there to, like, celebrate it and get excited about those opportunities for growth in others. The growth mindset also says, I'll be there with you as you learn. If I don't know how or if I know how, I'll teach you and I'll show you. And if I don't know how, like I'll help you figure it out or I'll hold space with you as you discover how to figure it out. Right. I'll hold space for you to try on a new way of thinking and being right. So part of recognizing growth and others is like holding that space to allow others to grow, Right? And in that growth, they're going to be like they're going to be a little bit different, Right. And have new ways of behaving and engaging and so holding space for that new way of thinking and being and behaving I always like is so helpful for others. And then also the growth mindset does come with boundaries and we're not going to go into that very deeply. But growth mindset, of course, is expansive and you're going to, you know, lift up and elevate others and want to see that growth and learning and expansion in yourself and in others.

Lunden Souza: [00:13:23] And that comes with boundaries. It comes with boundaries. So yeah, I'll just kind of wrap it up here with saying sometimes I find myself, as you probably do too, so growth oriented in one area and then discover areas where I'm completely fixed and I live, I limit myself and hold myself back so much. And the comforting part is, as I know, I'm committed to pursuing the growth mindset no matter what might come up. I know I'm committed to pursuing the growth mindset in all areas of my life and having fun with it and loving myself in the process and probably coaching on it until the day that I die. I remember one of my one on one clients. He completely had a massive realization that he was trying to help someone in his life, somebody that he loved. He was trying to help them by getting them to do the things the exact same way that he did them. It was like, Oh, I did this, and so you should do this, this, this, this, and this. And I never I'll never forget the session where he had this realization moment where he realized how exhausting that fixed mindset was of like, there's one way of doing it and this is the way this person has to do it for it to work. And, you know, being able to find that solution and think that your way of doing it is the solution and try to fully implement it and implemented on someone else.

Lunden Souza: [00:14:44] I'll never forget how that session where he realized how exhausting it was and how, you know, the biggest growth for him was the growth that happened when he let go of that fixed mindset of that. Other others need to grow in this particular way. Others will find success if they go through the exact same way that I did it or that he did it speaking as him, you know, And he just really decided to let others go on their path and let others be on their journey, just in the same way that he is on his journey. And so as a life coach, an NLP practitioner, I totally believe. That we can compassionately discover things like this about our mindset so that we can learn and grow and be kind to others on their journey in the process. So thank you for listening. And if you want to check out this episode as an article, you can check it out. In the January issue of Best Holistic Life Magazine, along with a lot of other articles from many other coaches, experts, healers that have written for the magazine too. So you can check that out. You can find the link in the description.

Lunden Souza: [00:15:53] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor. Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help we can really spread the message of self love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose fueled by self love and sweat. This podcast is a Hitspot Austria production.