Authentic Leadership with Kevin Suber

In this episode, we learn more about leadership and how it comes hand in hand with collaboration, the courage to ask for help, the significance of rest, and above all, leading in such a way that impacts the younger generation positively. We navigate these topics with leadership coach & author Kevin Suber, exploring how they interweave to create solid leadership.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode:
(0:00)  Intro
(0:20)  FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
(2:08) Getting To Know Kevin
(4:28) Let The Leader Lead
(17:22) Collaboration and Asking for Help
(19:00) Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
(32:12) Rest and Slow Down's Importance
(40:34) Leading the Younger Generation
(49:07) Spreading Self Love and Sweat

Who is Kevin Suber?
Kevin is a servant, global entrepreneur, keynote speaker, author, leadership expert, coach. He’s the author of the book Kingdom Business: License to Lead and the companion journal. He’s also the creator of a brand new leadership online course called Let The Leader Lead.

Connect with Kevin:
@kevsubs
Let the Leader Lead Online Course: https://houseofnaba.com/products/licensed-to-lead-foundations-let-the-leader-lead
Book - Kingdom Business License to Lead: https://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-Business-Licensed-Kevin-Suber/dp/1792154607

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 2:26

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So, every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So, if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month go to lifelikelunden. com/calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L I, F, E, L, I, K, E, L, U, N, D, E, N dot com forward slash calendar. Go get yours for free and enjoy this episode.

Lunden Souza: 4:34

Welcome back to Self Love and Sweat The Podcast. Today we have Kevin Suber on the show, who's slowly but quickly becoming one of my favorite humans on the planet. He is a servant, entrepreneur, speaker, coach and author, and we had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know each other in this community called Naba, which you guys have heard me talk a lot about. I'm so excited to have you here, kevin. Welcome to the show.

Kevin Suber: 5:00

Lunden. I'm excited to be here. It's going to be good. The very first time I met you was like energy, connection, let's go. So I'm excited.

Lunden Souza: 5:08

Yeah, same. In fact, we were chatting a little bit before I pressed record and I was like wait, wait, stop talking because this is going to get good. And I need to press record because I know as soon as Kevin and I get going, we're excited, we're talking, so I'm so thrilled to have you. I know that everyone listening is just going to get so much value from our conversation today and learn how to lead better from you. So tell us a little bit more about you and how we kind of got here.

Kevin Suber: 5:35

Beautiful. Well, I grew up in Connecticut, just a small town, west Haven, new Haven County. Grew up in Connecticut, went to a small private school, went to University of Virginia and that was when pretty much everything changed. The school I went to changed my mindset and so we'll probably talk later about mindset. That's why I want to mention it all the way back. The school I went to for high school changed my mindset. I'm a first generation college kid and it changed my mindset from if I go to college to when I go to college, right and so not an if but a when.

Kevin Suber: 6:12

That's a very important mindset lesson that I learned way, way, way, way back. So if anybody's got doubts today, mindset from if to when, from if to when right, so that's it. I went to University of Virginia, bounced around the company a country I should say working in corporate America decided to start my own company when I got to Los Angeles. That company initially was focused on entertainment, and now here we are. I can go forward and fill in some more blanks, but it went from that to consulting, doing some international business, and then that's when, the rest of the story. When we replay the tape, when we replay, we look back and we say, well, that's interesting, I should write about that, I should speak about that.

Lunden Souza: 6:54

Yeah, and you're speaking right all over the country, I think all over the world too. You've been in different places speaking. Your book is called and your course is called, which we'll talk about more, especially later, towards the end of the episode but it's called Let the Leader Lead. What were we doing before we were letting the leader lead? What were we doing wrong?

Kevin Suber: 7:18

I hate to use the W word, but we certainly could have pivoted and done something differently, right and slight nuance. The course is Let the Leader Lead, because it's the first phase of being licensed to lead kingdom business, licensed to lead right. So letting the leader lead is again mindset, changing our mindset from I'm not a leader to I'm a leader. But how should I lead? Who should I lead? Right, and if we can let the leader lead, whether it's myself individually, giving myself permission to do that, right, this is the self love right. I'm not letting myself permission to do that or allowing somebody else to be who they are, authentically and effortlessly. Let them do what they know how to do and if I have tools to help them, then let me do that. Let the leader lead.

Lunden Souza: 8:11

Got it. So it's like the confidence building of like, yes, I can do this, and also like the, the awareness to be like I'm not the best at this, somebody else can either do it better, see it differently, lead better, because, yeah, I'm sure there's instances where someone thinks, oh, I can do it the best, but they limit somebody else from being able to lead at their best. There's like some ego involved in there. How do we, if we know we're meant to lead and we're like maybe two hands on, what can we speak to? You know, to people like that, where it's like, hey, maybe a step back actually is going to help everybody, you know, go a little bit more forward. Is that the case?

Kevin Suber: 8:51

Yeah, that in some cases that is the case. It's kind of like provision or resources, right, when we get to a space of understanding that Lunden and Kevin can both prosper and there's still plenty for other people, right, so Lunden and Kevin can lead how they're called to lead and there's still leadership roles for others. You know the way, the way I say it in the book and when and whenever I get the opportunity to speak to people about this or coach about this, you might be called to lead one person, to move that one person along, but that one is called to lead a thousand, 10,000, 100,000, a million millions. If you don't lead the one, that one can't lead. Free, coach, push, inspire the millions that they were called to do so.

Lunden Souza: 9:46

Yeah, it's like the domino effect, but even knocking down one domino can knock down more. What are some good qualities of good leaders? Like what can we embody even more on a day-to-day basis to lead even better?

Kevin Suber: 10:04

I love the question and I had the conversation this morning. Of all the things that you could consider yourself. And I say consider because it's a process. Right, identity is a process and it's an evolving process. Do your best to serve above all. Do your best to serve above all when your mindset is on how can I help this person? How can I help these people? That's where the magic happens, that's where your leadership grows. Accidentally right.

Kevin Suber: 10:43

If I'm looking for, let's say, okay, so your podcast is amazing, but let's say it wasn't right. Let's say it wasn't. I could say, well, I'm a pretty good speaker. Let me say how I want to be in your podcast and let me go find 10 more people that are engaging and bring them right. So, if I'm thinking about what makes Lunden better, if I'm thinking about what makes my friend better, my mom better, my dad better, my neighbor better, if I'm thinking of how can I serve, right, that's step one. That's step one I saw. I'm sorry, let me pause, because when you ask that question, it's made me think of 15 things. So let me pause and let you ask another question.

Lunden Souza: 11:27

No, I love that Seeing your leadership not as like look at me but look at you or how can I help you. And I remember this point in my life my early 20s I was living in Austria. I was on all these different stages, doing workout events, all the things. And now, where I'm at now, I can realize I was at a look at me point. Then it was just like look what I can do and all the tasks I can get done and look at the stage I can rock and whatever. I didn't know it then. But now I can see more of a like look at you, like I want to connect other people. When I meet someone I'm like, hey, I can think of three other connections that could be meaningful and helpful for both of you. Or this reminds so my brain.

Lunden Souza: 12:17

Speaking of Switch of Mindset, it goes more towards like how can we connect collectively to make you know a bigger network or a more expansion, rather than just like, okay, well, how many people are you gonna bring to my event? Or podcast listeners or whatever. I wrote that as you were speaking. I just take some notes in my notebook and I was like it kind of looks like yeah, going from look at me and what I can do and my power and my leadership, whatever, to hey, how can I support you? How can you know? We put the lantern up in the room and so that everybody can kind of be illuminated a little bit. That's at least what came up for me.

Kevin Suber: 12:54

Yeah, no, that is it, and that's so perfect. Case in point how are we even here If we had a conversation? You said hey, you know you should do my podcast. Send me some photos, I can give you some ideas on some posts, because I love what you have. Let's make it hotter. You weren't looking to get anything. You were like how can I serve Kevin Subur? So what does that do with me? It just makes me think of how can I serve somebody else, because leadership is leading by example, and leadership I have a hashtag. It's called lead anyway. Life. Be life in things, be happening. It's just, it's the nature. If you're not dead, then something has the capability, the possibility of being perceived as good or bad, and I said perceived as, because we know, ultimately, everything that happens works for the good, to build you into what you should be. You just have to pay attention to the clues, right? But life happens, right. The question is when it happens, when you face the challenge, how do you overcome the challenge? You lead anyway. You lead anyway.

Lunden Souza: 14:04

You lead anyway, lean in yeah, I can think of clients that I've worked with or like even myself leading others. It's like you said life be life in. Sometimes I say people be people-ing. It's like you just do your thing and you go through your feels and your real human experiences when you're coaching leaders. I think serving is awesome. I tell my clients that too. If you're in a funk or whatever, go serve, go do something for somebody else, go be of service, go just give, because in that you can really find this synergy, like the reciprocation. How else do you inspire the leaders that you coach and you speak to to lead anyway? I guess it's one thing to say, hey, hashtag, lead anyway. But like what specifically do you advise that they do, or even you do? I mean, you're great, like when I'm around you I can't help but be like more expansive and alive and at the same time I know you're a human, so I know there are many opportunities where you're leading anyway. But what's like that first step? Or like what do we do to lead anyway?

Kevin Suber: 15:14

Once again, another incredible question so servant, what's next? Entrepreneur? When I do a lot of C-suite coaching, one of the top three questions I always get asked is this First they say this I want my team to take more responsibility. Then they ask this question Can you show them how to be more entrepreneurial? Servant entrepreneur? Why is this important? It's important because of this the entrepreneur might be making lunch and then doing the lunch meeting. The entrepreneur might make the money, then balance the checkbook, then deposit and then pay the.

Kevin Suber: 16:05

As the business grows, the entrepreneur is wearing many hats. Why is that important? Because when people be people, when life be lifeing right, maybe a door is shut Okay, now I can focus on this shut door, or I can say might be another door, maybe I need to turn around, maybe I need to go to the right, maybe I need to pause, maybe I need to pray, maybe I need to meditate, right. So there's always so much more. And if the mindset is entrepreneurial right, how do I keep moving forward? Because the goal is the goal is the goal is the goal is the goal Is the goal is the goal is the goal. We gotta get to the goal.

Kevin Suber: 16:52

Sometimes progress looks like stepping to the side, to the left. Sometimes progress looks like stepping to the side, to the right. Sometimes progress looks like stopping completely, because if we take one more step, there's a ditch, and so we have to work on our mindset, our mindset, our mindset. Well, how do we do that? Who are we talking to? What are we reading? What are we saying? Because that vibration out of the mouth comes right back. Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and he said they were having a conversation about food and about ceremonial washing, and he said it's not what comes into mouth that poisons the body is what comes out of the mouth. That is what affects the body, right. And so what are we saying? Because it affects our body, what's coming out of our mouth, right.

Kevin Suber: 17:49

I was speaking life or death.

Lunden Souza: 17:52

Yes, and you know me and words and communication and saying change your words, change your world. What we say is what we see, and I think people don't really take that to heart. They think oh yeah, it's just like that term, toxic positivity. And it's more than that. It's being very intentional with the words that you speak into the world. There was a quote from gosh not Jackie Gosh, bruce Lee. He said something about be intentional with the words that you say, and your words cast spells. That's why it's called spelling Be mindful of what you say out loud. And so I say this all the time. So I'm just glad that you're here to echo that too, because we can just go so fast, do all the things. We're not even paying attention to what we're putting out, what vibration we're putting out with our words into the world.

Lunden Souza: 18:50

You mentioned if to when. Not if I was going to go to college, but when? What other words? And maybe you can dive into that a little bit more too. But like what other words do you hear, especially from leaders, that you can identify, maybe some limiting beliefs in their words and the way that they speak? And what shifts like? What other shifts nuggets, let's say do you have when it comes to words.

Kevin Suber: 19:16

Some people have seen this before and if they haven't, maybe they're grabbing this for the first time. But the quote is I never lose, I always win. I always win. Why is that? Because either I win or I learn, and learning is a win. So the L word love is in my vocabulary, right. Lose don't really say that a lot, unless I'm painting a picture on how to not have that mindset. We always win, we always win. I have a business partner played in the NFL, a fellow UVA, wahoo. He says we stay at go, we stay at go, always be ready to make progress. That's what he means by that we stay at go. So when the phone call comes, when the email comes, when the text message comes right, be in one of two positions Know how you can and will accomplish it. Know who you need to call to help.

Lunden Souza: 20:20

Yeah, that second one. I personally operate under the mindset that I don't know shit and I want to be the dumbest person in the room. I will pick anybody's brain, I will ask anybody for five minutes of their time. I've had more connections by sliding in the DMs of someone just asking for help and what I do know is that's not easy for a lot of people and it's not easy for a lot of leaders, probably in that upper level position, or maybe it is because maybe that's how they got there. But I also know what the people I work with. Sometimes it's like I just want to do it myself or I don't want to ask for help, and I personally believe that that hinders the impact. Like you mentioned, like the domino that gets to knock down 1,000 other dominoes. I think it's almost, yeah, selfish or not of service to not ask for help. So how do we get people listening or how do you get the people that you work with to see it as a strength to ask for help and not like a weakness? Hey, really quick.

Lunden Souza: 21:26

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Lunden Souza: 22:22

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Kevin Suber: 23:23

Another great question the ego that limits is the ego that licenses you to lead, the ego that limits. That same ego can give you license to lead. What do I mean by that? I want to do it myself. So if you're dealing with that person, if you're trying to lead that person, if you're trying to mentor or coach that person that operates in the silo, I want to do it myself. I'm capable of doing it myself. I want to show what I can do.

Kevin Suber: 23:58

Do you want to go farther? Do you want to make a bigger impact? Do you want this thing to be even bigger? 99 times out of 100, the answer is yes, great. Let me show you how to do it. Get help, ask the question. Make one more text message, one more email, one more phone call. You want to go far? You want to do something amazing? Go alone, on your own strength. You want to change the world? Go with the team. You want to impact nations? Go with the team. You want to change generations? Go with the team. You want to alter implications? Go with the team. Go with the team. You will always do more with the team. It doesn't matter what we know. Somebody knows one more thing, and that one thing they know might be the key to pick the lock.

Lunden Souza: 25:05

Or they might say something that just provides a shift for you where you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't see it that way or think of it that way. Humans are so amazing. The more people that I get to know, the more I just think we're so wonderful and so I just can't possibly know it all, and I just think there's so many other people with skills, talents, insights, just know how, or just wisdom and just being who they are that can provide exactly like you mentioned. You want to go here, go alone. If you want to go further and beyond, and I even think, making an impact beyond your own life, it's like do it within a team.

Lunden Souza: 25:44

I can think of examples of what you mentioned. Like, just you know, in my, in my life too, of leaders who you know want to tell everyone how to do it and micromanage and a lot of things. And I remember a leader that was is wonderful. She's still a really close friend of mine and we work together in Europe and she just kept climbing and climbing and even to this day, gets head high like she is so amazing. And I remember talking with her one time because she was leading a lot of people that, quite frankly, from a Doing perspective, like she couldn't do their job. She doesn't have the skill set to do that right. But I remember asking her like yeah, just because we're close, you know, like how do you do, like what's your, you know, and she goes, you know what Lunden, I realize it's not about, like leadership is not about Knowing how to do everyone's job. It's about knowing how to elevate people and empower them to want to do their job even better and serve with even more excellence. And All along I had been thinking oh, how can I teach people to like be a mini me, like do the things I do? And just like a do, like do it, like this, like I thought I was gonna find people and then show them the protocol and the process of the doing. But she helped me realize and I don't even think it even clicked then.

Lunden Souza: 27:13

But even now there's some calls I have with people on my team where we just talk to talk. I don't ask about their tasks, I don't care about their deadlines. Maybe if they have a couple questions, at the end they'll ask me. But we'll just talk for like an hour and I'll be like how are you? Like what's your life like like what's going on and just have like a Friendly get to know each other conversation, and that has been so much more number one, profound for like their productivity and creativity, but also way less stressful for me, because, you know me, I'll get on and talk.

Lunden Souza: 27:44

I love to learn about people, but I'd sometimes be stressed, thinking like how am I gonna hop on this meeting and tell them every single thing they need to do and how to do it? But I'm like that's they know what to do, like that's their expertise. They're the graphic designer, they're the copy. Like they know. How can I uplift them and help them feel seen and heard and even more? And so, when my former boss had told me that it didn't click right away, took like I don't know, three or four years for me to finally Realize it and then be it and see it in that process.

Lunden Souza: 28:13

But how important is that? To like lead people, not necessarily, or let's say I'm sure there's both right. So what is that balance between, like the people you're leading, making sure they like do the thing, and like the boxes are checked off, but then, at the same time, they're people and they're humans with feelings and you know they're human experience. How do we balance out the both? And you know you mentioned a lot of hats, so I think those are a couple hats that we can highlight. What are good practices to balance out? You know the this is what you do and how are you, how's it going? You know right.

Kevin Suber: 28:49

Wow. So people, humans and feelings, people, humans, feelings right? People, humans, feelings right. Servant entrepreneur, coach, speaker, a great speaker does a couple of things. They got some stories to tell, right, and they make a connection. If they're a great speaker, they make a connection. So how do you do it? You got to make that connection, you got to make that connection. Well, how do we make connection? Well, we can be vulnerable. So many times we think showing or being transparent right and use wisdom, but 99 times out of a hundred right, transparency and vulnerability inspires, inspires the very the first. So a story right. Speakers got stories right.

Kevin Suber: 29:42

The first short film I did it was actually three short films concurrently the client Didn't want to change the amount of money they wanted to spend Number one money. They didn't want to change the deadline. Number two, number three. They didn't want to change the scope of work. And I mentioned those three things Specifically because with any project, you have a triangle. You have a project triangle. It's the scope of work Right, it's the money and it's when is this dude time, those three things. And If you change one, if one becomes very rigid, you likely will have to change the other one or both of the other two, this client want to change any of them and it wasn't enough money and it wasn't enough time and the scope of work was insane.

Kevin Suber: 30:37

So the first thing I did was pray. But how am I gonna do this? And during prayer, the one person I needed came up. He knew everything that I did not know. You knew everything that I did not know. And I said, Bobby, here's the project. You know everything I don't know, but I need you to walk me through this and they're gonna ask me the questions. He said super, you're the man and we will get through this together.

Kevin Suber: 31:12

And, one by one, we got the right people to oversee all three of these short films. We shot all of them at the same time. So what you did was you took a person who had never done it before never. But because of my vulnerability and my transparency, I was able to put the right person next to me, the right other three people, over the individual films. It got done on time and it got done under budget, with the same crazy scope of work. You got to be vulnerable, you got to connect, you got to inspire your people and not be afraid to find people that know what you don't know, because two things will happen. Number one you're gonna win, and number two you're gonna learn.

Lunden Souza: 32:01

Mm-hmm, yeah, and I'm sure you learned so much what you didn't think was possible in the moment or you couldn't see Somebody else had that vision and was like, oh yeah, we can make that happen, we can do that. What I meditate a lot and I'm a firm believer and seer and like that feeling ahead of the experience, right, the gratitude before it is made manifest. You know, give thanks and you will receive. That plays a role and I know that you believe that too. So, you know, speak on that a little bit.

Lunden Souza: 32:37

But how do you help the leaders that you work with or when you speak, how do you help people really get on board With that piece? Because if you would have just been like, oh, it's not possible, you, this client's, you know Ridiculous and whatevs, you know it's gonna have to be this way, I don't think you would have attracted and even in your life attracted the people and, you know, cultivated that community of people that are like, oh, I got you, you got me, I got you. You know, how do you, how do you coach that?

Kevin Suber: 33:10

So perfect Servant right entrepreneur, speaker and now coach. So with each individual or organization that I am coaching, there's a methodology that is very specific for them. That's why I'm not cheap. But here's the important through line. Okay, the important through line is a concept called the four pillars. The four pillars In any particular way, no particular order. It's your health and wellness life is a pillar. Your business, educational, vocational life is a pillar. Your interpersonal skills is a pillar and, last but certainly not least, your spirit life is a pillar. If any of those four are off, the other three topple.

Kevin Suber: 34:06

Arguably, the spiritual pillar is the one that could serve as a foundation for all of the pillars. That is the one that helps you to change your atmosphere. That is the one that helps you to change your mindset. That is the one that allows you to see what you can't see, and then you can see, and then you can communicate what you do see, which every great leader communicates, what they do see Vision, vision, vision. My title in my company is not CEO. My title in my company is CVO, chief Visionary Officer. My right hand is not a senior VP, he is a senior visionary officer. We see it first and then we put the pieces together to accomplish, but what we see we will not see unless we take the time to stop Pray. And then we see you gotta stop, you gotta handle your spiritual life. You gotta stop, you gotta handle your spiritual life, and if you don't, challenges are coming.

Lunden Souza: 35:30

Challenges that you won't have the tools for, and yet I give those tools to you.

Kevin Suber: 35:36

But yeah, but when it happens, right, when it first happens you're like, oh my God, what happened? I didn't see that, of course you didn't see it. You didn't take time away from everybody and get into the spirit space that you needed to be in.

Lunden Souza: 35:50

We think we just gotta handle ourselves.

Kevin Suber: 35:53

Somebody told you cry, baby, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. And there is no substitute for hard work, but you do need to rest. I had a sixth grade history teacher, Carl Crawford. He just recently passed away. He said you don't understand this now. Not sixth grade, eighth grade. He said you don't understand this now. One of the most important things you will ever learn to do as an adult is to master cat naps. I was like what is he talking about? But now I understand the power of rest, the power of rest, the power of rest. Most dreamers, most dreamers, most prophetic people, they have that vision when they're resting.

Lunden Souza: 36:45

When you're resting, when you're not trying to think about it, it just kind of comes it comes it does resonate with that.

Lunden Souza: 36:53

Yeah, I mean that hustle, that grind, that do more. More is more. The more you do, the more you're worth. I grew up definitely in a family of hard work do all the things and for a long time I was just hustling my brains out and speaking of the four pillars of health and wellness whatever and business, interpersonal, spiritual. When I think of health and wellness, too, I was like the fitness persona. I was the healthiest person that I knew. I was eating all the right foods, doing all the things.

Lunden Souza: 37:31

But I was working from the instant my eyeballs opened to that last minute that I would need to go to sleep to maybe get my six to seven hours of sleep, and it wreaked havoc on my body and on my business and on my life and all the things. So we think, oh, as long as you eat healthy, exercise and do all the things, all the things will get done. And I'm so happy that you mentioned rest, because I was thinking about that too, because we've talked a lot about, okay, what can we do? How can we communicate with our teams, ask for help, all those things. But that recovery and that rest time is so important and I often say I need to be horizontal, I just need to be in bed and just know. And I plug in those times now where, of course, sundays, no calls, just rest, recovery, trying to do my recharge thing, and then Wednesdays I've been plugging in a few hours just to be like whatever is not connected with your phone, computer, you know just like be outside in nature, maybe be in bed, like you mentioned, catnap.

Lunden Souza: 38:37

But I schedule that because I know myself, I know my autopilot is just going to get going and just keep going and then it's harder to hear those whispers of like and then you need to slow down and I don't want to get to the point, because I've been there where my body is like banging down the door, like you need a break. You know, and I think a lot of leaders, entrepreneurs, we have that grind, that hustle, that momentum, that desire, that hunger. But rest is so important, or should say, and rest is so important too. How do you coach that? Do you just tell people take a break, like how do we? Or how, like for people listening who might feel a little bit like, oh, no time for rest, you know, but it is time, it is time, you know, and it's interesting.

Kevin Suber: 39:28

So how do I coach that? I coach it a couple of ways. The first is simply by saying it out loud right, you need to rest right. The second is by giving stories and examples and hopefully they can identify with it. The third is asking them to reflect upon a time in their life. Reflect upon a time in their life where they actually saw. You know what? I took a break, I was refreshed and actually got more done. Long time ago, at a place far, far away, I was working in corporate America. I was also rapping, you know, I just knew I was going to be the greatest rapper in the world.

Lunden Souza: 40:09

I didn't know that I also used to rap when I was in high school on the radio with my friend we have this in common.

Kevin Suber: 40:15

Oh my God.

Lunden Souza: 40:17

You're probably way better than me, but I loved it.

Kevin Suber: 40:19

It was so fun hey who knows, Neither one of us got the record deal right.

Kevin Suber: 40:24

Here we are and then here we are, still speaking. So I was working corporate during the week, whatever, whatever, and the studio that I worked at was in Washington DC, my man, mike Hughes. So I would do what I did, I would jump in a car and I would drive up to DC. I lived in Virginia, it would take two and a half hours to get up there and I wanted to start as soon as I walked in the door. Come on, let's go, let's go. And Mike wanted to talk when I got in there. So what's up, man, how you doing? And he would slow me down. And one day I just insisted right, and come on, we got to go.

Kevin Suber: 41:00

It was horrible, it was a terrible session. Right, it took eight hours to do something that should have been so simple. And he said man shorty, dc got man shorty, let me tell you something, man, I know what I'm doing, but I had to let you do you. So you can understand, man, if you ain't in the right frame of mind, it's just not going to get done. Right, shorty, you need to learn how to slow down. You think slowing down is slowing you down. I'm trying to tell you after years of doing this right here shorty, slowing down is speeding you up, and I never forgot that lesson, because more important than the grind and the speed is the state of mind, yep, the state of mind. If you're in the right state of mind, that's when the magic happens. That's when victory is not maybe. Victory comes. No, right mindset, right atmosphere. Victory is imminent, it's going to happen.

Lunden Souza: 42:06

Right mindset, right atmosphere and the slowing down I noticed to. I mean, we speak, so I can speak fast and naturally I'm more of a fast talker. But over the years I've worked really on slowing down and even in the moment when I can catch myself like, oh, I want to do you know, I'm like how can I move a little bit slower, how can I talk a little bit slower, how can we do things a little bit slower, so then we can listen and tune in, or else we're just, yeah, muffling the message of what needs to come through and yeah, that's really helpful. And so I think you know we can all think of a leader or maybe somebody listening. You know you are leading teams, whatever we want to go, go, go, do all the things, get it done faster. But slower can really be the answer.

Lunden Souza: 43:00

How do you I know you're a dad, a parent how do you like lead or not lead? Or you know what I mean. You're your kids. I know a lot of my clients are parents and a lot of people listening our parents. And how can we take what we've learned today on leadership to help lead our younger generation? I have a niece, she's five and there's a lot of things where I'm like, oh, I didn't even realize that until I was 30. I want her to see that before then, but without me being like. You know, you do it this way because this is how I learned it. You know, I want there to be a discovery, but also like a guided discovery to things that I think will be helpful and useful for her moving forward. How do we, how do you lead? You know the younger generation, your kids and, yeah, those coming after us, because, speaking of you know the domino effect or the bigger impact. I really feel like that's there too.

Kevin Suber: 44:00

So either you said it or I heard it in my mind, but driving towards the goal right. So when you think of driving, as in a leadership driving, a leader driving, it's a couple ways, several ways to do it. Right, you can be, it could be a Tesla, right, it's autonomous driving. Right, plug it in, boom, that's where it's going and it's going to go there Period in the story. Right, you can be the guard rails. Right, you can be on one side of the highway, the expressway, the freeway, and be on the other side of the expressway, the freeway, and the road goes. Where the road goes, still to the same destination. You can be the example, which is the North Star. People follow the North Star to get to where they want to go. Right, Be the example, the North Star, be the guard rails or be the programming. Right, one of those three things, as a parent, your DNA tends to be the programming. There are some things that we do simply because we do, because the DNA is the programming. Right Now, there's another kind of programming, a leadership programming that I talk about in the course let the leader lead.

Kevin Suber: 45:17

I'm going to say that. I'm going to leave that on the table. You want to know what that DNA is. Go check it out. Okay, divine nature algorithm, all right. So there's that, right? What I try to do with respect to the children, specifically right, but that also includes people I mentor. I try to be guard rails and be the example right, because they can look at me and say I like the way he does that, I don't like the way he does that, and that's cool, and that's cool. But if the guard rails are up, they know they got a lot of space in there that they can operate and use their own gifts and talents to move down the road. Right. So if I'm the example, if I'm the North Star and there's some guard rails there, what I tend to not want to do, now I tend to tell most people is don't try to become the DNA, because the DNA is already DNA, so don't try to become it, just let it do what it does. Focus on the other two of the three.

Lunden Souza: 46:19

Yeah, I love that the North Star the guard rails and letting people know.

Kevin Suber: 46:25

The North Star, the guard rails and autonomous driving right. So the programming is what it is. Don't you don't cabin Subaru, don't you try to reprogram the programming? It does what it does Right. It does what it does. Focus on the other two, which you actually have control over. We can always change our example. I can always get up earlier. I can always read another book. I can always talk to another person. I can always walk for 30 minutes three times a week. I can always be humble. I can always serve. I can always do I can. There's things I can do. I can always set parameters, I can control parameters. So let me work on what I can control and leave the rest to what it is.

Lunden Souza: 47:12

Right. If not, we try to control other people and that's about a. We can't win, but I love that North Star guard rails and the autonomous driving. You dropped a little bit about your course, which I'm so excited to share with our listeners. Yeah, kevin also created a course with Naba, like I did, and that's how we connected, which I'm so grateful for. I feel like I can't wait to see everybody in person again. I just am so excited to love on everybody in real life. I've been like let's talk, let's talk on Instagram, let's come on the podcast, like all the ways we connect.

Lunden Souza: 47:50

And Kevin created a course called let the leader lead, which is also the title of his book. So it's like a course and book combination for those of you that are looking to, yeah, lead better yourselves, others, grow your influence and a lot more. Tell us a little bit more. You get us excited. Give us a little phone, well, if we haven't taken the course yet about this course, and then, of course, I'll link all the stuff in the description below. Yeah, give us a little taste of what we can expect in the let the leader lead course.

Kevin Suber: 48:21

Beautiful. Well, it's built around a couple of things the book, as you said, and I'm writing another book, so it's built around the existing book, but it's also built around some concepts coming in the next book. So by taking a course, it's like a little cheat sheet. Right, you get to get some things before the rest of the public gets it right, because it's packed in let the leader lead Build around those things that help us lead better and things that could potentially prevent us from leading, whether it be the simple mindset for the concept of everyone is a leader, everyone is a leader, everyone is a leader, who? Everyone. So I build that out and we talk about that in the course. We talk about overcoming challenges, because if you're leading, challenges are imminent. It's not about how do I prevent challenges, it's about how do I overcome the challenges.

Kevin Suber: 49:22

The acronym is C, L, A, P. I dig into it in depth in the course. That's it In fact. Let's, let's, let's build just a little bit on that. Right, so a room is quiet, you start clapping. What happens? You just disrupted the room, right, so clapping is a mindset of how do I overcome the challenge. You have to stop doing what you did, right? You have to disrupt it, right? The C is for change Change what you're doing.

Kevin Suber: 49:46

L look around. Okay, where am I All right? A assess, assess Okay, I am where I am. How did I get here? Where was I? Where am I now? Where do I want to go? And the P is for pivot. Once I've assessed, shift, go another direction. I dig into it even deeper in the course, I dig into it even deeper in the book and, by the way, I've taken some great questions. So the courses and just me downloading information. There's questions there's, so as we go along, you can kind of work it out in the same with the books, right? So there's the book. And then there's the journal, there's a journey journal, so as you work through, you can write it out.

Lunden Souza: 50:33

I love that. That helps me for sure, and I'm sure people listening to with like learning and absorbing, to have kind of a place to, to absorb and then process, write things down whatever might come up. Oh, thank you so much for your time and your presence and just who you are. I'm so grateful that we could have you here on the podcast today. I'll put the links to the course and your book and all the things and the description so for those of you listening, I know you want to grab that so you can connect there. And yeah, kevin, thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to give you a hug again in real life and see you soon.

Kevin Suber: 51:09

I appreciate you so much, thank you so much and you know I speak around the country, so certainly follow me on Instagram or Twitter or, you know, LinkedIn wherever you happen to be and look to see where I'm speaking. If I'm in your neighborhood, come on out, cool.

Lunden Souza: 51:25

I'll link all your social media and stuff too. Thank you, Kevin, for being here again and thank you guys for listening.

Kevin Suber: 51:31

Thanks, cheers.

Lunden Souza: 51:33

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of self love and sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot. Austria production.