YouTube and Travel Vlogging Success with Nelly's Life

Lunden and Anela (aka YouTube Travel Vlogger Nelly's Life) met when Lunden was living abroad in Austria. In this episode, the 2 close friends talk about everything from heartbreak, going for your dreams, culture shock, YouTube, being on camera and more.

Connect with Nelly:
IG: @nellyslife__
YouTube: Nellys Life

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode
0:00 Intro
2:45 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
10:37 Overcoming The Fear of Being In Front of the Camera
15:04 Dealing With Negative Comments On YouTube
26:26 Adjusting To Different Cultures While Vlogging
38:12 Taking A Leap of Faith Between Careers
42:49 Sponsor: Snap Supplements 25% OFF using code LUNDEN25
49:08 Building Personal Growth and Finding Purpose

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 2:26

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat The Podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/ calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot com forward slash calendar. Go, get yours for free and enjoy this episode. Welcome back to the podcast and Self Love and Sweat radio.

Lunden Souza: 4:36

I'm so excited today to have one of my closest friends in the whole world, Anela, on the podcast. Many of you might know her as Nelly. I just have always known you as Anela, so I call you by Anela, but she's a worldwide travel vlogger, a wonderful human, someone I just love. Anela and I met originally a little bit before I decided to move to Austria. We met at an event and I remember when I moved to Austria being like, oh my gosh, I want to be friends with her and at the time you had a coffee shop business in Austria that was really close to where I lived and I remember just like going to your coffee shop and hanging out and being like I want to get to know you more. Can we be friends? And I don't even know how many years later. I guess 12 years later, because I moved there in like 2013. So yeah, 10, 11 years later.

Lunden Souza: 5:31

Wow, I'm so excited to have you. I love you. Welcome, what did I miss? Tell people more about you.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 5:36

Hello, hello, it is so good to see you, good to see your face. Yeah, I'm so surprised about your perspective because I saw you as well. I'm like that's such a cool girl, I want to hang out with her too. So, yeah, I think we clicked straight away and had a common ground. I remember I would attend your birthday parties and, yeah, really the sweat and work out together, which was a lot of fun. And, yeah, you empowered me a lot and I just remember the friendship started off in Austria and then we moved to the other side of the world and kept in touch and we just saw each other recently and I was really really happy about it that although we didn't see each other for a very long time, we still had this very strong bond and a very deep connection. So, yeah, thank you so much for the friendship so far.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 6:39

A little bit about myself. Where do I start? I grew up in Austria, originally born in Bosnia, and when I was 27, I moved to the US. I lived in Miami for three years, which was freaking amazing. I absolutely loved it, and after three years I moved to Asia. So, yeah, that was quite a change. I must say also a culture shock.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 7:06

I started out traveling for eight months. It came with my job. I just took the how do you say? Leap of faith and decided to pursue a YouTube career. I used to have an advertising agency in Austria for 10 years and a coffee shop, like I said, but there was just something else that I wanted to do, something that was way more fulfilling. And the agency life is very demanding.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 7:34

Yeah, I think it took some years of me. It was just very, very stressful and I found myself being kind of a little bit overwhelmed with the stress that it comes with and I felt like I was missing out on life, if that makes sense. My social life was going towards zero. I just remember waking up and going to the gym, going to the office and then after nighttime I would eventually go home and then repeat that was my life 24/7.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 8:12

And yeah, back then with my previous partner, I would just travel a lot and we started a YouTube channel where we just documented our travels for ourselves, but also we documented our life moving to the US, moving to Miami, starting a business day and how it is, and kind of like encourage people to think outside of the box, especially young people. I was not part of that channel at the beginning, just because I was very shy, my English was not very good. I mean, I had my school English but I was not fluent. I would say I was just okay. So I was very hesitant to be in front of the camera.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 8:52

It's not easy, especially in your third language. So you know, sub-aggression is my first, German is my second and then English was my third. So it took me a while to get comfortable with being in front of the camera and eventually I got used to it, really enjoyed it, embraced it and made a career out of it. So here we are a few years later and yeah, now I'm on YouTube.

Lunden Souza: 9:18

I'm on YouTube later, hundreds of thousands of subscribers later, bajillions of views later. I remember when because I yeah, I feel so lucky to have known you for the duration I have I remember when you were first talking about starting a YouTube channel. I remember when you were first about to move to Miami and we were at dinner in Austria at this like vegetarian place, Gelbis Crocodile, the yellow crocodile and I remember like having this conversation and we had like almost like this pre-party of like I'm so excited for what you're creating, what you're going to create. I'm excited for when you get, you know, the visas or different things to be able to move to America and be in Miami and all those things and to be able to see that whole journey to where you are. Now, too, and I love that you shared like because I felt the same too when I started first being on camera, even though English is my first language and I was talking in English like I remember being like so nervous and like afraid to really be seen and am I good?

Lunden Souza: 10:19

and all the things here you say that of some of those beliefs you had I think is so powerful. Because, looking at your YouTube channel now and like even when you came to visit me in Utah, we were like on hikes, you were vlogging, like so comfortable, so in your element. So you, how did you get there? Like, how did you decide, okay, I'm going to be in front of the camera. Okay, I'm going to do it anyway, even though I'm scared. Like what was your thought process and mindset once you actually started and growing?

Nelly of Nellyslife: 10:51

Oh, I mean back then it was just basically about showing up, just like being part of the previous channel that I had with my ex-partner. I must say I would almost like hide from the camera at the beginning, especially, like you said. You are not comfortable being seen and I felt like I was misunderstood because I couldn't be myself. It was not my first language or not my second language. I'm very fluent in German, so it would have been easier to do it in German for me. But doing it in English, where you can't express yourself in the same way, you don't have the same humor, you don't have the same character, you're lacking words and it's just not as fluent. So I felt like every time I was in front of the camera I felt awkward. I really didn't enjoy it at first, but I kept doing it.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 11:51

I also decided to switch my Instagram stories from German to English, which helped a lot, and eventually just learning by doing, just getting myself out there and showing up and just trying not to care too much about what other people would think or say. But I also remember when I uploaded. I started my own channel, which was Nellyslife, and I remember uploading that first video and I was actually super proud of myself that I was able to sit down and just make an introduction and I hit publish and then I saw dislikes on my video and there was more dislikes than likes and that was so tough, so tough for my ego. I was just like I wasn't that bad. Why are people giving me thumbs down? What is wrong here? I don't understand.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 12:50

And yeah, that actually had a very, very negative effect on me. I stopped doing my personal channel, Nellyslife, and then I was just continuing doing my previous channel that I had with my ex and eventually got better and better over time and picked up Nellysl ife again. And when I see myself now, it's worlds in between. It's just like it's a whole different person that I see. I'm more lively, I'm more outgoing, very passionate and joyful. I can be myself because I was all comfortable with everything, with the whole situation. Like you say, it became my second nature to be in front of the camera.

Lunden Souza: 13:37

Yeah, and from what I know of you and what I'm going to say, it was like a lot of comfort with your own personal self to then be able to show that on camera and to do it anyway, despite the dislikes being real about like oh shit, that like hurt me and that was on camera.

Lunden Souza: 13:56

"Lstarted as a newspaper column that was also published online, and I remember I wrote a column about ways to like reduce stress or something. And I got a comment that was on there like who is this girl? What are her credentials? Does she think she's a doctor? And I remember calling, talking to my friend Tina, who was actually like a mom of a kid I went to high school with, but her and I became friends we're still friends and I remember like crying to her and like over this one person's comment about me not being good enough, you know, and I was like so sad, so devastated and so sad and I still couldn't not do it anyway and it's cool to hear you say that too where it's like all these feelings, all these emotions, all these human things, but then choosing to continue to show up and looking back at where you are now, I mean yeah sure your videos get dislikes and likes and people saying great things and shitty things.

Lunden Souza: 14:56

It's like part of the territory. But did you get like tougher skin? Did you not like care? Do you not care as much anymore? Do you just not look like? What's the difference now?

Nelly of Nellyslife: 15:05

Okay, first of all, let me just share one similar story. Once I established myself as a YouTuber, I got invited by my home city, lens, to come and do a vlog about how I experienced my home city and I was actually really proud of the result and people loved it. But then, when the newspaper that actually wrote about it, when they posted it on their Facebook, the first comment was she should get a job. And I was, like that is my job, like why are you telling me it's not a valid job? You know, like people have had these or still have these limited beliefs that you know you're lazy, you're just not doing anything when you do YouTube which was a little bit tough to overcome, I have to say even like talking to family and friends, explaining to them you know I'm not making any money now, but eventually at some point I will but people like, but like how? Like I don't understand and a lot of people just couldn't understand at the very beginning. So, yeah, I tried to educate friends and family. I also tried to just keep going, really just keep going. And, like you said, you grow a thick skin.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 16:30

You read those comments. You, if you have a bad day, you take it personally and I learned to just distance myself, because I had to acknowledge that this comment is not about me in first place. This comment is about this person and this person's own beliefs, right? Maybe that person had a bad day, maybe that person had a fight with his or her partner you never know, right? So there is like the frustration that it's thrown at you without any valid reason. I saw this comment of Tom Holland where he said if you have to criticize me, call me. If you don't have my number, your criticism doesn't matter to me. So that was a very, very valid point. I'm like, okay, I take criticism when it's something about my you know how I film things. Or maybe when somebody says, oh, your audio is not really well, maybe you can improve the audio, I'll take that. But if somebody goes on the internet and says you suck because, for whatever reason, I'm like, okay, I learned to deal with it. So, yeah, it's been a journey, yeah right, A lot of those stories.

Lunden Souza: 18:03

I think, yeah, both of our minds where it's just like okay, I like that. If you don't have my phone number or you're not close enough to me to have my phone number, then I'm not going to take your personal. We talked a little bit before we pressed record, because at the time of recording this, it's January 2024, new year, a great time for reflection and all the things.

Lunden Souza: 18:29

And you said I'm letting go of like so much stuff this year, what some of the stuff and feel free, of course, to be as vague or as detailed as possible, but what are some of the stuff you just feel like you're shedding in this season and letting go of.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 18:47

I had this conversation with my sister and I said the biggest learning in 2023 was to set boundaries. Set boundaries for myself, for other people, set my own standards, what I want to be surrounded with, and I just realized there were some toxic people in my life that had so much power and access to me, and it took me a while to realize that in life we always have a choice. So how can I limit that access to me? That was the one big question that I had to ask myself, and then, of course, how to move on from this. We all know, with your surrounded by toxic people, it has a huge effect on your mental health.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 19:39

So 2023 was quite challenging, I must say. I was in your place in Utah and you saw me just sitting there and literally just crying and saying I don't know what to do. Right, because I was in a situation where I could literally just go hard and pick a fight and just go crazy or just take it all in, fill the fields and eventually think about it. Think about okay, what is it that I want? What outcome and my outcome? My goal was to be at peace, so I set myself that goal by the end of the year. I want to get rid of this and that and that and that. So I was just working towards that goal and I felt like once I reached December, I was like whoa, hold on, I'm there. I'm really there, and it took me so long to let go of certain things.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 20:47

And it's even tougher when things affect you in terms of financials as well. We've all been there when you are in a situation that you can't get out of. But eventually you figure out a way of just like okay, I have option A or option B. Option A is to go and fight for whatever, or option B is to let go and just say okay, you know what, it doesn't matter to me, I'm letting go. And yeah, letting go was a big part of that as well.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 21:24

So, setting boundaries, letting go and just surrounding myself with people that truly love me I could see so many things so clearly, and I think one of the things that was super, super helpful for me is meditation, working out, eating healthy, just keeping, yeah, like overall well-being. I would say working on that as well while I was going through some stuff and then having emotional support from friends like you, for example. You've been such a huge, huge, huge help for me, and I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it wasn't you. So thank you for that. I am quite sentimental thinking about that. I am quite sentimental thinking about it.

Lunden Souza: 22:13

Yeah, same.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 22:16

Remembering how I called you desperately and you just said okay, Anela, this is what you're going to do. And I just literally needed somebody to tell me hey, you're going to wake up, work out, eat healthy, sleep, repeat. And I did that. Like that saved me. Yeah, I'm getting really. Yeah, I remember when you told me.

Lunden Souza: 22:46

I remember when you told me like I don't remember specifically saying that to you, but I remember the moment where you called me. I was in the airport, like getting in line to board somewhere, and I said it then and I didn't realize that I said it, that it was like profound advice until you told me later you were like, hey, when you said, wake up, work out, eat healthy, go to sleep, repeat, eat healthy, you know, do all that. And I was like, oh, I don't remember saying that and it just reminded me of those are the things we can control and when our life, it can be so easy to be like, oh, this person's doing this and making me feel this way, this person's actions are causing this on my life. But we can't control other people just as much as we can control the hater who leaves a comment online or somebody who decides to do that. But that's why I love fitness and healthy eating. Outside of what makes us look like it's just like how can we control to create the healthiest vessel that we possibly can? Because then, when we have the meltdowns and we have the moments of roller coaster emotions, at least our foundation is somehow there. And I love.

Lunden Souza: 23:54

Also, what you said about your goal wasn't to like fight or make a person change. It was like your goal was peace. Yeah, and that word resonates with me so much. Sometimes, when I go to bed at night and I have a hard time falling asleep or my monkey mind is going, I've been whispering to myself peace, peace, peace, peace. Until I feel asleep, and part of the peace was you being different, like you were used to.

Lunden Souza: 24:19

I know you have a background in like karate, you're feisty, you know how to let go after and like fight for something, but to be able to be like no, actually the real fight is internally with me, like letting go of this shit, and like nomos.

Lunden Souza: 24:36

And you chose a word that resonated with you, instead of being like okay, this person has to do this, I have to get this, this, this in order and then I can be happy and peaceful. To you was like coming to visit a friend and opening up, like you did to me and like we do with each other, or not answering phone calls, or responding in new ways, or taking care of yourself, like. I love that idea of creating a word that you want to embody, instead of making it be about like okay, and once person this person apologizes, or this person pays me what they owe me, or this person says this it's like we can't control that shit, like all we can control is ourselves and how we get to know ourselves, and I know that's helped you show up more authentically online, because, I see it, I've known you for a long time.

Lunden Souza: 25:24

I know you've known me for a long time in real life and then also seen me on camera in different phases, and it's so cool that we can be honest and open with each other and be like oh yeah, I remember that phase of your life. In these videos it just like didn't seem like you, you were doing the best, it wasn't really you know.

Lunden Souza: 25:43

And now, looking and being around you and seeing the videos, there's like so much congruence of like oh she's. I could truly say it because you're one of my closest friends and I know you so well like the person that's online is the person that's offline. It's like what you see is what you get. I know best friends always get to have like the insider scoop of like the nitty gritty details. I know you and I know about each other that like we just there's no value in sharing those specifics online, but it's we can really be like actually know what you see is what you get. And that's my compliment to you because I just love seeing you bloom and blossom and like the ways you're impacting people all over the world.

Lunden Souza: 26:27

So let's talk about culture shock a little bit, because you and I have lived in different countries, we've traveled a lot and it was sometimes hard for me to like land and feel like home. You know to like is this? Like your root chakra is kind of off because you're like there's not really like a place to land. What has been some funny experiences or things you've realized from living abroad and being around different cultures and ways of living and how have you like embraced that?

Nelly of Nellyslife: 26:55

Okay, let me just get back to the point where you said we, you remember having that goodbye dinner and how you know enthusiastic I was, to be very honest, I was enthusiastic but I was also very, very anxious. You know, when you move to like a different continent where you don't know anybody and you're starting a business there as well, and it's just like it's, it's a lot. So I was not very sure about like how are the people, there? I don't know if I can I get get along with the culture, because the US is slightly different than Austria, of course. And then I remember, I remember moving to the US and people just have this kind of like small talk, and in Austria we don't really have small talk. You know, when people are just like, how are you doing? Oh, I love your hair, oh, what are you up to, I was just like is this, like what does this person want from me? Literally, literally like that. And I remember having that one friend, Willie, and he was very, still, very charismatic and I learned so much about how you can actually create conversations like very deep and meaningful conversations with small talk as a starter. That was a big learning for me.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 28:24

And then, as, of course, just the US is just very different, but I learned to embrace it. Miami is also not the US, I must say. It's very Latin inspired. So I feel like the whole life there that I had was just very spontaneous, very laid back, very like you know, living la vida loca, watching sunsets, drinking rosé and just enjoying life in general. And that was actually very important for me because, I told you, I used to just work 24/7 in my agency, go home at like 10, 11 pm and I just reached that point where I felt like I was burned out. And then I moved to Miami and having that opposite of like people being very warm and inviting and just very, also very excited about entrepreneurship, very interested in what you do, I was like, okay, this is cool, this is cool, and I adapted to it and literally found the passion for life again. That was a very profound moment for me, or profound three years.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 29:37

And then when I moved to Asia, I moved to the Philippines someone I learned there were quite a few things that I needed to get used to, just that you know, things are just differently in the Philippines. When you drive, you don't use an indicator, you just kind of like put your hand out and you're signalizing hey, I'm turning right In most occasions if you're in traffic, for example and then like how people interact with each other. I remember just walking some way in what was it? Coron, that's a small island in Palawan and people were like where are you going? And I was like that's like actually, like in my head I was like none of your business.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 30:23

But I said, oh, actually I'm looking for this place and this person is like I'll show you. And I was like this is a scam, like this person wants money or whatever. But it was just a true like the true nature of that person, or even like of the nation that they are so kind, they just want to help you out. And it took me some time to trust that whole, you know, cultural background because I was just not used to it. So, yeah, there were quite a few. I mean, you had that in Austria as well, right, like the opposite.

Lunden Souza: 30:58

Yeah, the small talk thing I totally resonate with because I remember going to the grocery store regularly. It would be like the same person working, I would try to make conversation hey, how's your day and it was almost as if like she had no clue who I was, even though I know I live in a grocery store, you know. But the point is things are different and it can be really easy for us to be like oh, our way is the best, and people that don't make small talk are rude, or people that don't talk are fake. Right.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 31:30

Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 31:31

And the most about living abroad and traveling is like the more that you can embrace the culture and be a little bit uncomfortable, like. I remember one time going to Japan I didn't know that people in Japan don't hug and I like went up to this girl and gave her like a big hug and I was learned very quickly that that's like not culturally acceptable. There were some people that were with because they worked for Adidas, they had traveled a lot. So they were like oh no, you can hug us, but like some of the people who have lived here that like don't travel a lot and are not as well cultured with different cultures like they, that's like very, that's too much invasion of their space.

Lunden Souza: 32:08

So I could have been like, oh, people in Japan are like not loving their weird like. No, it's just like that's the way they do it. And how can I learn more about letting go of needing to control people's behaviors? How can I embrace more of who they are and like? Even though Austrians and Germans are a little bit closed off when it comes to like that small talk and conversation, I definitely developed deep relationships with Austrian and German people where it was like, okay, that's just like, once you get to know them, that deep friendship and that connection exists.

Lunden Souza: 32:40

but it's just like not going to show up as a fluffy conversation in the line at the grocery store and that's okay, exactly. I think that's what's helped me a lot, and what I think travel gives the gift of so many people is perspective.

Lunden Souza: 32:52

It's like we can get so caught up in our own town the way we do it, our routines how we talk, how we engage, and I know for a lot of people, traveling abroad can be really uncomfortable, and that's actually one of the things that they say. If you're in like a new relationship, like go travel with somebody and go travel in a country where it's not your native tongue, right, like go to Mexico, go somewhere else, you really start to see the discomfort in people when they're like wait, what does this mean? What is the language? Why is this? Yeah, and I think that's so true because you learn so much about yourself when you're out of your comfort zone and being in a different country, different people signaling different like, different food, like stuff.

Lunden Souza: 33:37

That doesn't matter, but we make it matter and I just think, oh, I've just fallen so deeply in love with so many different cultures. And when I traveled, I'm like okay, this is how you guys pray, okay, I want to do that. Okay, this is how you guys eat, okay, I want to do that. This is your style of dance, okay, I want to do that. And instead of being like, okay, my way or the highway, it's kind of like, oh, there's a lot of ways of living and people can be happy doing it this way or that way, and I just love people from different places for that reason.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 34:09

Yeah, actually the point with the hugging that you just mentioned. I learned to hug people after living in the US, because in Austria you just go and shake hands, right? Hello, I'm Nelly. Nice to meet you. In the US, Hi, I'm Nelly. Nice to meet you. It's just so different. And then also, when I moved to the Philippines, I just met this girl Now she's a very, very good friend of mine, Janina.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 34:36

We were trying to sell her a camera equipment and she just saw us and she was just like oh, this is cool, let's take some pictures. Hey, do you actually want to go to my place and have a beer? I'm like I just met you, I met you at your place and have a beer with you. But I was like OK, let's do it. And now we have been friends for like four and a half years, so it's kind of like so different. Like you said, you have to get outside of your comfort zone and traveling really, really helps a lot. It just expands your mind in so many different ways and you learn so much about yourself, which is more important for me. Yeah, it has been really really good so far. I love traveling. So, yeah, hopefully we're going on a trip together soon.

Lunden Souza: 35:31

We love to travel so much and I love that. You love that too, and I love that about our friendship that we can be like anywhere and not see each other in person for a while, but we're still like always in each other's corner and we just like pick up where we left off. Yeah, one thing that we talked about earlier that I just want to touch on too, because I'm so passionate about it and I know that you are too, and I know, at the time when we both decided separately, like in our own lives, to be like wait, I don't have to do the work all day, every day thing, I don't have to do the nine to five. I think sometimes people like criticize that because they don't understand it. They think like, oh, I'm supposed to be this and then do this every day, Monday through Friday, nine to five, and that's my job and that's what I do. And I've always had a bigger vision for myself to be able to work from anywhere in the world. Yeah, visiting my family whenever I want, and still make maximum impact. And yeah, and still to this day, there's some family members that are like, what do you do? And like so how do you monitor? Like you put ads on your podcast and people have a code and then they buy this and then you coach them online on zoom and they pay you that much to do this.

Lunden Souza: 36:43

Like I, just I love what you're doing with your, your YouTube, coaching and inspiring others to go out and create and like have that financial freedom, that time freedom. I just feel like I, like I'm so sick of that being the normal, like it doesn't have to be that you do this job and you do this thing. Like I love the variety, I love being able to podcast and coach. You know, some days like today I started at my first call at eight I've been going for like, yeah, 12, 13 hours nonstop on zoom.

Lunden Souza: 37:17

And then there's some days on a random Tuesday where I'm like, oh, just going to go for a walk and chill and not do much, like that's, for me, is so important and I just want to inspire others, not necessarily to like drop everything and quit your job, but there's a cool like mindset shift, I think, of being like wait, I don't have to be like a slave to somebody else's dream, like I can create my own. I love the online space, like even just like YouTube zoom, all the things that we have resources to connect with people online and share our gifts Like have you always known that you wanted that, even before the agency? Was it the burnout of the agency that made you realize, like ain't, nobody got time for that? I want to own my own time and hopefully people listening are inspired to be like you don't have to do the way that everybody's done it just because everybody's done it that way.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 38:12

Yeah, I have to say, back then, when I had the agency, I wasn't really thinking about that like freedom of being wherever and working whenever, because I was still very tight to my clients and the projects that I was managing. So, yeah, it was not on the plate. But I started working remotely before the pandemic. So I was traveling a lot Like I was setting up the business in Miami and working remotely for my Austrian company as well, and I also encouraged my employees to just work from wherever they want. Like I remember my one of my employees, Vanessa, she would just go. Yeah, she's so amazing. I said to her as long as I get your work done, I don't care where you are. And like, if you check in on like 8am or whatever you can sleep in, but it needs to be done. And she was so good at it, she really embraced it and showed me that this kind of concept works.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 39:22

And then eventually, when I started doing YouTube and got monetized at some point, I realized, okay, this is something that I didn't know of. Like, the goal of being on YouTube was not to make a career out of it in first place, it was just a pure fun and pleasure of trying something new and just putting myself out there sharing things that I am passionate about. And eventually, when I became a real YouTuber and making money with it, I realized, okay, this is something very, very interesting because you can monetize your online presence in so many ways. And I even say to my sister, because she was in this rut of like I don't know what to do with my life, I don't know what I want to like, what kind of work I want to do, and I said look, we live in a world where you can do whatever you want. You can sell anything. And I gave her this very, very good example of this company that is called Send Shit. And they are just sending shit and like you see how easy it is. The worst example, but also the best example of like you can monetize your passion or like an idea that you have, just through talking about it online.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 40:44

And I think the biggest misconception and also the biggest barrier for people is that they think, oh, but I can only make money if I have 100,000 or million subscribers. That's not true. I have friends who have 3000 subscribers and like the business is booming through YouTube and they they say to me like it's I was selling on Instagram. It was going good, but once I moved to YouTube, it was just nuts and it went crazy, like my business, because they just established their own niche, saying, okay, this is what I do, this is what I'm talking about, and you're reaching your target audience, right? People that are actually interested in what you have to say.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 41:30

And a lot of people say, oh, but I don't know what to talk about. Well, if you have a passion, if you have a hobby, if you just want to, if you just want to show what you cook for dinner, do it and eventually we'll find ways to monetize it. Eventually we'll, you know, get affiliates through through your cooking videos. You will get sponsorships, you will get adsense, maybe you will get invited to events to do a live cooking, maybe you get invited to be an endorser. So a lot of people just don't know how to monetize to gain that freedom. But, yeah, I definitely have to say that it opens so many doors. Like you said, I was hustling on Wednesday, worked until 9pm and yesterday I took the whole day off, so it was Thursday. So it's like I'm working within my own terms and I can rest and I can schedule things the way how I wanted and it's great. I mean, I wish it for everybody. Actually, I wish everybody would do that because, as we always say, the cake is big enough. There are endless possibilities.

Lunden Souza: 42:50

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Lunden Souza: 43:52

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Lunden Souza: 44:47

Yeah, and I love, because there's a girl that I'm gonna have on my podcast soon. She created a YouTube channel and Instagram and stuff called "Hey Grill, hey, and she's like, from what I know about her cause, I met her cousin at my gym and she's like, oh, you should have my cousin on your podcast. But that was her. She was just like oh, I like to grill. I think more women should grill, so I'm gonna share what I'm grilling. And you know, it came out of a passion like, not a desire to make money and be a YouTuber and all those things. I also think, through the ones that I've heard, like a lot of young people be like oh yeah, I just wanna like live an easy life and be a YouTuber and I know from well. It's not easy. It's a full time job, it's a business. You have to strategize, data driven, but you also get to own your own time. And, yeah, build a community and a ripple that is of our times, right, everybody's watching YouTube.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 45:39

Exactly.

Lunden Souza: 45:40

Or podcasts or whatever, and it's like I personally don't think that hanging out in the same environment all the time in one spot is gonna give the ripple effect that I at least feel like I'm called to bring, and I know that.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 45:53

Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 45:54

Podcasting all the things we could reach people from every country, every state, every place, really from like the comfort of wherever we decide.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 46:04

Yeah, and you're the best example. You shared your journey with your acne. You posted it on social media. You put yourself out there also, like you know, that's a very vulnerable thing to do, and you also shared your hormone therapy how you overcame everything and people could really resonate with that. It's relatable content. People are struggling with a lot of things and they're looking for solutions and if they see somebody who is truly going through the same thing that you're going through, they're like, okay, she tried this and I can see on your face you're glowing, you're looking beautiful, your skin is just youthful and gorgeous, and people you know that's the reason to believe and you made a whole thing out of it. It not intentionally, it just came to you right. As far as I remember, you were just documenting it for, like I don't know, just for your own.

Lunden Souza: 47:07

For a while, I was really afraid to share it. And then it was like, as soon as I started being more open and vulnerable to the things that I number one, I thought I was alone in when we share those things. We realized, oh, I am not alone. And the things that were most scary and most sticky I was like, okay, how can I share this in a way that provides value? I wasn't like, oh my God, this is what happened to me. Oh my God, it was like okay.

Lunden Souza: 47:30

I processed it on my own. Here's the value that I think somebody else going through that same struggle would benefit from, and I think that's the difference between, like sharing the whole enchilada on social media and actually providing value. And then also there's that gray area in between, because we're not just so much.

Lunden Souza: 47:47

Like you know, I like to share my life and day-to-day stuff but, I, think that's where the I ask myself that question okay, like, am I bleeding all over everybody or am I showing the scar and telling the story right, like after it's healed, after I've processed it? I think that's kind of. At least, my role on social media and my podcast is like I might not share something real time of what's happening right now, in this moment, but share it at some point when I've digested it and I've worked through it myself and with my close friends and my coaches and people that I love. So then when I actually have like a story to share with also value, then I feel like that's you know cause. For a while I had acne, never showed it, I tried to hide everything and then eventually I was like wait, now I think I'm ready, Like now.

Lunden Souza: 48:34

I'm gonna share that story, and it wasn't till some years later but I was still like, okay, I'm still gonna share it anyways. Nobody gets to tell me what timeline I'm on to share my stories, you know. But I think there's like some values between Life Like Lunden and also values that you have with Nellysl ife, where it's like, okay, I almost feel like it's a disservice to pretend like everything's perfect, just as much as it is a disservice to like share all my shit all the time with people. It's like there's somewhere in between that I think can really help people.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 49:05

Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 49:06

A little strategic and a little vulnerable.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 49:09

Yeah, and then also, to come back to you know, people not knowing what to do. So I think the biggest misconception is also you have to figure it all out. You have to have a plan right, and that I mean you need to have a basic plan like where you want to start off, but eventually, throughout the process, you will just fall into. Like things will fall into place for you, like it happened for you as well. You're now working with a huge beauty brand. You, I heard, are going to potentially Washington too. Yeah, I'm about to crash. I want to interact with you.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 49:53

Yeah, natural beauty products, and this was probably not on your radar when you started this whole journey, right, so you just developed throughout the whole YouTube journey or like your online presence, and that's okay. Like you don't have to have a whole plan. I think that's very, very important to to mention, because a lot of people just get so overwhelmed and that overwhelm is just eating you up and you're not getting enough things done and you freak out and you just getting anxious because, oh my God, everybody else is doing so much better and I'm not past enough, I'm not growing enough or whatever. But eventually, once you are aligned with your own values, with how you show up as your true self. That's when things start to happen for you, and, yeah, you're the best example for it.

Lunden Souza: 50:48

But it's like when you said peace, you weren't searching for a specific outcome and peace got to reveal itself in different ways. I love the book, I love the book, or start with the why by Simon Sinek, and then there's like a book that's called Finding Your Why and it's like the step by step process of creating that and I've kind of made why and purpose anonymous but mine is to inspire others to get out of their comfort zone and bring joy to life.

Lunden Souza: 51:13

And so that's not saying I had like I was in fitness for many years pushing people out of their comfort zone and hopefully having fun while doing it, but at some point I just that didn't resonate anymore. But there's other things that fit into that why of helping people get out of their comfort zone now with their mental health, their emotional wellbeing, with what they believe is possible for their life, with communication and having conversations that are so uncomfortable for them, but bringing joy to life in the process. So I think that's kind of what, in my model of the world, like manifestation is is like getting clear on the feeling and the mission, but letting the universe decide what the specifics are. And like I remember, when you moved to Miami, you thought you were going to do this, but then that changed and you moved to Asia and then YouTube. But looking back.

Lunden Souza: 51:58

you're probably like wait, I needed that experience in Miami, like I needed that to be where I am now. So it's not saying that.

Lunden Souza: 52:05

I wasted time doing fitness.

Lunden Souza: 52:07

No, that's just what fulfilled my cup and my purpose at the time.

Lunden Souza: 52:11

And now I get to do things different if I choose, and I get to ask myself okay, in this position, with Beauty Counter, with my online coaching, with my podcast, do I inspire others to get out of their comfort zone and bring joy to life?

Lunden Souza: 52:23

Yes, check, check, okay, cool. And then, like you mentioned, two boundaries not always having to say yes to everything, but just knowing what's in alignment and sits right with you, I think, going back to your why or your purpose or mission statement, or whatever that might be, and having it be loose enough to let the universe, god, work its magic in our lives and be like, hey, you know, and even the Washington DC thing, which my fingers and toes and all the things that are across to happen, I would have never in a million. That's not. It wasn't on my list to go lobby for politics and clean beauty and ingredient transparency. I never wrote that on a list somewhere. But now that it's presented itself to me and I happen to be in a very top spot for it, I'm like, oh hell, yeah, that makes sense, yeah you're making a change.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 53:11

I could have gone myself. That's amazing, and you said something very interesting. You said that needed to happen. So I was going through a breakup after 14 years, and let me tell you, it was really, really difficult. At first I thought my world is about to crumble and I was in a very, very dark place. I really tried to stay on track with fitness and healthy food and everything, but everything that I knew was not my reality anymore all of a sudden and that was very, very confusing and fast forward. Now it has been almost three years and I look back at it and I can confidently say that needed to happen and I needed to feel the pain, sit in it, experience it, embrace it, heal from it and eventually find myself, because now the version that I'm today is just so vibrant and so lively and just so aligned, so at peace as well, and that's something that I really love.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 54:26

That comes along with challenges in life. We have all been there and I think it's always about you, posted up so many times about it. It's not life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you, right? So I think a lot of people struggle to understand what the lesson is at first, but trusting the universe that everything will just fall into place when the time is right, when you are aligned, when you're just letting go, when you're at peace, when you, you know, when just everything feels good, that's, that's when everything happens. But yeah, you got to be patient and meditate. I meditate so much.

Lunden Souza: 55:12

Yeah, I like to change my life, that's for sure.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 55:14

Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 55:14

It's been a good way to get to know ourselves and the stories we deal with ourselves. And you could have said, oh, 14 years relationship that ended. What a waste of time. I wasted 14 years, but really exactly those 14 years were priming me for the hugest heart. But I needed that heartbreak to deal and then be where you are now and I don't have a magic timeframe.

Lunden Souza: 55:41

I tell my clients this all the time, like you deserve to be hurt and in pain and sad and do the ugly cry and ask why me? And then, when you decide that you've had that period of like victim mode, which we deserve to have for a certain amount of time, you and you decide, okay, now I'm going to rewrite that story and make it mean something better. And that's why I love writing and like literally rewriting the story, like thank you for these 14 years because I learned this, this, this, this. Because of that, I now have this quality, this quality, this quality that I, quite frankly, wouldn't have had if I didn't have that experience. And so choosing to be the author of your story and knowing that you can always rewrite it, make it mean something different. I think that's why we're here.

Lunden Souza: 56:29

We're here to have like an easy experience. We're here to like be in our pain and being in our feels and use it to connect with others and ourselves even more.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 56:39

Yeah, you know, I received a lot of comments of people saying, because our relationship was very public, I received a lot of comments of people saying he wasted 14 years of your life and I'm like that's not true. I grew so much as a person. I learned so much throughout, you know, my career, my business life, my personal life. I saw so many places. I, you know, I just acquired so many skills, also in terms of self development, and no matter what the ending of this relationship was or how it came to that, I still truly believe that it has been good 14 years. Like I don't look back at it and think of like, oh, what a waste. No, I wrote a thank you note with gifts when I left and said thank you for 14 amazing years. And yeah, yeah, cheers, cheers to a new chapter. And I just embraced a new chapter and now I'm happily single. I'm really embracing that phase of my life where I just put myself first and do what I want and it feels good. It really really feels good.

Lunden Souza: 57:55

Yeah, lastly, I want to ask you, what are you most excited about now, like now that you've had a year of setting boundaries last year. I mean we're only a few weeks into the new year but I can just tell there's this like passionate new, but same energy, like same Nelly, but like more, if that makes sense. What are you most excited about? Personally, professionally, whatever.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 58:23

Personally, I'm very excited about just doing the things that I that I already did in the past year, because that has, like 2023, was a year that was very challenging, but it was also very, very fruitful and great for me, especially for personal development, for my career, for my social life, and I would say I found my people For 2024, I want to continue deepening my connections, see my friends whenever I can, also like eventually apply to Europe to spend some time with you, because you know, I realized this is something that gives me so much more when I connect with people that I loved it. Like you said, you have known me for 12 years, like you saw me through different phases of my life and where it's versus, and I want to hold on to that. I want to spread love and kindness and joy and peace. Maybe I can bring some peace in other people's lives. In terms of career, of course, I want to continue doing my YouTube thing. I'm very passionate about it and I have a wonderful team that is killing it from the Philippines and we've been working together for a very long time and I want to deepen that connection as well. And then, of course, I want to focus on helping other people become, you know, aligned with their own purpose and eventually turn the passion into their career through, you know, teaching people how to actually utilize YouTube and how to grow your audience and how to monetize so that you can make a living out of it and be financially independent and location independent, yeah, hopefully, travel the world and choose an office wherever you want.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:00:22

So, yeah, and then, in terms of leaving things behind, I'm definitely leaving toxicity behind. I definitely have no time for, you know, people who are just stirring up drama and anger and whatnot. I'm just I'm done with it. You know I reached a point where I can confidently say I, I'm okay if you are not behaving right, but you know, I'm just setting a boundary here and you're no longer have access to my life and that's it. That was in that chapter. Goodbye. Yeah, I'm just very excited about this.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:01:07

Yeah, I feel like 2024 is going to be an amazing year. Also, in terms of astrology, I heard Libra is coming out of a very long, long dark era. I truly believe in it Because I mean, yeah, I can just feel it. I can just feel it. I'm super excited. I'm happy to be surrounded with people that you know inspire me as well. Like you, I look up to you and I learn so much from you, and you know it's. It just happens so naturally that we compliment each other in different phases of our lives, so I want to hold on to friendships like that. What about you 2024?

Lunden Souza: 1:01:54

Yeah, what I'm most excited about is similar to you personally, but also in professionally too is just like deeper, more authentic connections, like not. I was talking with my friend, kevin here in Utah today and we were working on a new event series here in Utah which is going to be super fun. He owns a bunch of restaurants, so we're going to do some cool events there, and he was like Lunden. It's about the who, not the how. Like meet the good people, attract the people that are in alignment with how you want to be, who you want to show up, and the how figures itself out. So deepening those connections and conversations even more I'm just most excited about. I'm also really excited about the I would say, kind of newfound but deeper like sense of presence that I have. I notice that I am very much where I am when I'm there, like I'm not thinking about what I did earlier or what I need to do next.

Lunden Souza: 1:02:49

I'm here talking to you and enjoying every present part of the question and being present in a way that I think, without meditation and breathwork and some of those things I taught myself how to be like, nope sit here now, like no copy paste from the past. Here now no fast forward into the future.

Lunden Souza: 1:03:07

So I'm excited about the unknown of the present moment and just being present, of like, who might I meet, what might I see, what conversation might I have, like, what opportunity might I have to connect over here or taste a delicious meat, whatever? Yeah, whatever comes from being present I'm most excited about. And then, yeah, professionally too, I'm just excited about growing my podcast going to DC to represent beauty counters, continuing to show up in those ways. So I think, yeah, excited about the connection, excited about the present moment.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:03:40

And I also love that you posted about setting intentions and not goals, because goals can be so intimidating and just like so you know hustle culture oriented, where we find ourselves in a very balanced flow state where we work on our own terms and in our own alignment. And two, two things that I wanted to mention to wrap this up you, you taught me that asking the why is crucial. So I learned to ask myself why, or I ask people when they tell me something why? And I learned that that just like that simple why can lead to so many profound learnings about and connections about other people and deepening friendships and just showing more interest, listening more. I mean you and I, we know both that. You know we love to talk, especially in front of camera, but we also like to just sit back and listen to what the other person has to say and just acknowledge and hold the space. And then the second thing that I also learned is the how.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:05:00

So one thing that my therapist used to say to me every time how does that make you feel? And she said it is very funny voice. Okay, this is a good question. It's simple, but it's a very good question. So last year, after every encounter that I had, with every situation, every person that I that I met, I asked myself how does that person make me feel? And after meeting that person, if I couldn't say that I felt good, it meant that I had to let go of that person, right? So that was very good for setting my own boundaries and just acknowledging okay, this is actually not a good friendship. If that friend makes me feel anxious or not worthy or not heard or whatever, then it's not for me and that's. That was just a yeah, just a helpful thing for me and I hope it helps everybody else, yeah.

Lunden Souza: 1:06:04

But not always easy, right, it's like the simple things, but we really, yeah, when we ask the question why or how, or acknowledge what certain circumstances might feel like in our nervous system and being like that feels like it's not for me, that feels like it is for me, that's, I think, a lot of great work. It's a lot of hard work, you know, not hard hard work. So I love that you shared that of solidifying the why, asking, why listening, why thinking about and reflecting on our interactions, and not just like eating through life and not eating through life and not reflecting on who we're around and what that's like in our sphere.

Lunden Souza: 1:06:43

Yeah, we covered so much today, you two moving abroad, breakups, connections, culture shocks, culture culture shocks what's worked for us, what we're excited about, and a bit of healing it. That embodies really what like who we both are, like life, like life, it's like that's really who we both are. Yeah, connect with you. What's I say out loud, what your Instagram and YouTube and all of that, and then, of course, I'll type it in the description so people can easily.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:07:14

Yes, so my YouTube and my Facebook is Nellysl ife and on Instagram it's nellyslife, with two underlines because, yeah, the normal one was not available. Yeah, that's how you can reach me. I try to respond to every message that I receive on Instagram, so that's the best way to reach me.

Lunden Souza: 1:07:36

Cool Instagram. Yeah, love. You guys will love Nelly's videos. Nelly's videos. I feel weird calling you Nelly like I say it because I know that's right. It comes out weird out of my tongue. So I think you'll forever be a Nella in my life and in my eyes. But your videos are so good I feel like I'm going on a trip with you. I'm going to trip with you, whether it's, yeah, on a safari or in Mexico, or we did a video in Utah. I'll link that in the description. But you do such a great job you are, so you don't half-ass it at all and it's so raw and real, but also like such good quality, and I just love what you share. So follow Nella, subscribe to her YouTube channel, connect with her If you want to learn more about ways to up level your YouTube presence and things like that. Thank you so much, nella, for being here. I freaking love you.

Nelly of Nellyslife: 1:08:25

Thank you for having me. I love you too. That was really, really nice, and I hope we can connect in real life very soon and talk about all of this again.

Lunden Souza: 1:08:35

Thank you guys so much for listening to Connect with Nella, and we'll see you at the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of self-love and sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review this really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self-love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot. Austria production.