Hard Days: 4 Helpful Tools

Have you ever had a hard day? That's definitely a rhetorical question because we ALL have had them. In this episode, Lunden shares 4 practical strategies to deal with hard days and move through some of those challenging, stressful moments.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode
0:00 Intro
0:21 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
3:57 Grounding Yourself in the Present Moment
6:38 Embracing Self-Compassion by Talking to Your Emotions
11:46 Being a Rainbow in Someone's Storm
13:41 Seeking Support

Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 188: "The Makaranda Method: A Path to Wholeness with Eleanor Evans Medina"

Transcript

Intro

Lunden Souza 0:01

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat THE PODCAST , the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically , embrace your perfect imperfections , break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire . I'm your host , Lunden Souza .

FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar

Lunden Souza 0:21

Hey , have you grabbed your free Self Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar yet ? This calendar is so amazing . It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom , a sweaty workout , a mindset activity , just a little something , something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals . So every day , when you get this calendar , you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read . And then you'll also see , on the top left corner of every single day , there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing . You can choose one thing every month , or it can be the same , something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement , like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water , for example , and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements . This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine . You can choose what that checkbox means . So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month , go to lifelikelunden . com/calendar , fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes . That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot Go .

Lunden Souza 2:14

Welcome back to the podcast . Today we are talking about hard days . I know that everybody listening to this episode has had a hard day before . I know I for sure have , and I want to share four things that I know can help , that have helped me a lot recently through some hard and challenging times . And there's a difference between acknowledging that there's hard days and wanting to move through that and be the person that you want to be , even when things are hard . And then there's a difference between , like , ruminating in the hard stuff right , and I'm sure we can all think of somebody that hangs out in the hard all the time . Everything's hard , this is hard , this person makes this hard and , yeah , I can even think about parts of me that maybe have hung out in the hard too long , if that makes sense . But I really feel like over the last year , especially the last six months , I've taken on a lot and I know that you have too , and so these four things I know will be super helpful to reflect on . Maybe one of these will help you more than others , maybe all of them will be helpful . When I was making this list of these four things and I did a meditation right before this and was just thinking about the things and tools that have helped me , I really feel like all four of these are super powerful and I use all of them . I have used all of them , especially recently , and so if you can take them all in , great . If there's one that speaks to you , awesome . But these are four things to help on your hard days .

Grounding Yourself in the Present Moment

Lunden Souza 3:57

Number one is the power of presence . When things are hard and we have busy schedules and we're wearing a lot of hats and there's a lot going on , it's important that we be where we are . Sometimes we can think about the next five , 10 things that we need to get done , and then we're stressed about the things that we didn't do yet , and I had a really awesome guest on the podcast and she mentioned doing the things that you do while you're doing them . Do the things , do what you do while you're doing it , right , be where you're at while you're doing it . And this has been so oh my gosh , so powerful to me , because I wear a lot of hats , I know that you do too . And if we can just be where we're at right , be in this meeting , be in this podcast recording , be with our kids in the moment when we're having this conversation , be with our partner in that moment when we're having the conversation , do what you can to be present . And this is why I love meditation so much , because you practice getting out of the past and getting out of the future and being right in the present moment . And so I think what helps me the most when things are hard and especially I have full days , is being like okay , be right where you're .

Lunden Souza 5:24

At Lunden , you know , this morning I woke up really early , I had um , I went and did my workout at hot works , which I love , and then I came back and I had um , a call with my assistant , and it was like a 20 minute call and I wanted to be really present with her and talk to her and , you know , ask her how I can support her and just work as a team , like we always do . And then I took my supplements for my detox and while I had them in my mouth you're supposed to hold them for like 45 to 60 seconds in your mouth I put my hand over my heart and just was present taking my supplements . And then I came here to do this podcast and press record and so , whatever it is that you're doing , I know you're doing a lot and you're doing a great job , but do what you do while you're doing it . And when I said that initially , I was like I had a guest on my podcast and I couldn't remember her name off the top of my head , but it's Eleanor Evans Medina . I love her . Her name was on the tip of my tongue and I'll put the link to that podcast episode in the show notes . But that really inspired me when she said that Do what you do while you're doing

Embracing Self-Compassion by Talking to Your Emotions

Lunden Souza 6:38

it .

Lunden Souza 6:38

So , even when it's hard , be present for what's happening right in front of you , we don't need to be 27 steps ahead , we just need to be right in this moment , because that's all we can do , right , all we can do is be present where we're at and do our best in this moment . So that's the first thing the power of presence . Number two when we're having a hard day and an emotion might come up right . It might be fear , angst , frustration . Talk to that emotion . Ask your emotion . Ask it what it's trying to tell you , what it's trying to teach you . We're not taught to talk to our emotions . We're taught to push our emotions down and to not cry and everything's going to be okay and it's not that big of a deal and just like suck it up , push it down , right .

Lunden Souza 7:32

But as I've gotten older , I realized it's so important to feel all of the feels and not numb the feels . In fact , yesterday I was walking around with some people from my team to go look at Halloween decorations in my neighborhood . First of all , my neighborhood has the most amazing Halloween decorations I've ever seen in my entire life . But there's a house that they did Inside Out 2 . They had all of the different emotions and if you haven't seen Inside Out 2 , I highly , highly , highly recommend it . I watched it on the airplane the other day on the way to California and then on the way back On the way there I was kind of watching the movie and multitasking Thankfully , I should say , yeah , thankfully , Delta Airlines has a lot of Wi-Fi in their airplanes , and so I was like working and simultaneously watching the video but then or the movie . But then on my way back I was like I'm going to watch the movie uninterrupted , and so I highly recommend watching Inside Out 2 . But there's a house that decorated their house like the Inside Out 2 house and there was like a big sign that said like it's okay to feel all the feels , and then it also had like a QR code that you can scan to reach out to someone if you feel overwhelmed or need support with mental health and all the things , which I thought was so beautiful .

Lunden Souza 8:51

But talking to that emotion and asking it what it's trying to teach you . Now I have had panic attacks in my life and I used to have a lot of them and I used to numb through a lot of them and it's been a while since I've had one , probably over a year , but I had one recently , like a few weeks ago , and it was really intense . I could tell I was just super stressed . My jaw was like trembling , my hands were shaking . It was a really intense panic attack actually . But yeah , you know we all go through the things and I think what I'm most grateful for is that I know that I don't have them as often as I used to . Meditation has helped me so much through that .

Lunden Souza 9:42

But in the middle of this panic attack , you know being able to talk to that emotion and ask what it's trying to teach me and I know this episode is about hard days , not panic attacks but I think this is a specific moment that I can recall in my recent life where I had , you know , this overwhelming emotion and I was like what are you trying to teach me ? In the middle of my jaw chattering and just yeah , it was like it's trying to tell me that it's okay to not be perfect . It's trying to tell me that it's okay to not have everything under control . It's trying to tell me that nobody is . It's not as big of a reflection on me as I am making it out to be right Sometimes , when things don't go systemized and organized in my life remember , I am the director of a company , I run multiple businesses .

Lunden Souza 10:36

Systems and processes are very important to me and sometimes I feel like when the systems and processes are not followed . It's a reflection on me . That's the feeling that I know comes up , right , that's the shadow in me that comes up . And so I just talked to it and I was like it's trying to tell me that it's okay , like no one's perfect , and yeah , just talking to that emotion . And then I was talking to myself and saying , like it's okay , you're doing such a great job , Lunden , you are pushing through , you're helping so many people . You're just , yeah , hyping myself up , talking to that emotion , figuring out what it's trying to teach you , and then talk to yourself the way that you know you need to be talked to right . Oftentimes we can be our own worst critic and be our own worst enemy and our self-talk can just be like , well , you should have got that done and that's your fault for not having that in order . That's sometimes what my inner dialogue is like , but awareness of that is huge . And so that's the second one Talk to that emotion and ask it what it's trying to tell you , what it's trying to teach you .

Being a Rainbow in Someone's Storm

Lunden Souza 11:46

Number three this was a little reminder and sign that I saw the other day when I was at the grocery store and it said go out and be the rainbow in someone else's storm , and that's the third thing to help on hard days is go out and serve others . Go out and hype somebody else up . Send somebody else a really nice text message . Go make a meal for somebody else . Right , go out and be the rainbow in somebody else's storm . Even when we're having our hard days or we're having our good days , we go out and we interact with other people . Right , and people are not wearing their emotions like they do on the Inside Out movie . Right , they're not going to turn completely blue when they're sad . They're not going to be dressed in all green with blue hair when they're joyful . And sometimes , yeah , people go out in the world just doing their best and we don't know what they're going through . They could be having a hard day , they could have just lost somebody , they could be having the best day and you could go out and say something kind to them and it could enhance their day even more .

Lunden Souza 12:56

I was recently driving out to St George , which is in Southern Utah . It was like a four-hour drive and I left pretty early in the morning because I had to be there pretty early as well . So I left like at 4 am and I was having a really good day and I was listening to good music and I went to Dutch Bros Coffee to get a coffee and the guy there was so nice and he was like what are you doing so early ? And I was just like , oh , I'm heading out to St . George and blah , blah , blah . And then he handed me the coffee and he was like it's on me ? And I was like thank you , and it was just so sweet and so kind and I wasn't having necessarily a super hard day that day but I was definitely driving four hours at four o'clock in the morning so it was nice that he went out of his way to just do a little random

Seeking Support

Lunden Souza 13:41

act of kindness .

Lunden Souza 13:41

So when you feel like you're having a hard day , remember it's not all about you . Remember there's other people out there Not to discount your hard , right ? I'm not saying like you know , don't feel the hard , and just you know , push it down and go be kind to others . That's not what I'm saying . But just recognize like the hard day in me sees the hard day in you , namaste , right , that's like the end of a yoga class , right , it's like the divine in me honors the divine in you . You can take out divine and put anything in that sentence right , the hard day in me , the struggle in me , recognizes the struggle in you . So when we go out and be that rainbow in someone else's storm , or even be the rainbow in someone else's blue sky , beautiful , cloud day , right , just go out and do something kind for somebody else . And then the fourth one is tell someone about it . Tell somebody about your hard day that you trust , that you know is going to hold space for you , that you know is not going to take you down further , that you know is going to hold space for you , that you know is not going to take you down further , that you know is not going to ruminate in the hard right , but that's going to be there for you .

Lunden Souza 14:54

I recently did a post on Instagram about anger and I was feeling really angry . A week ago , I think it was a week ago , and I could just feel anger coming up . And what I know about anger is you can move through anger right . When you're in despair and depression , anxiety , those emotions , it's really hard to take action from those . So even when I was in anger , I was like , okay , at least I know I can move with this right , like I can do something with this anger . But I shared it with my friend Haley and she was like , oh my gosh , me too I've been feeling so angry about X , y or Z . And so we just shared that with each other and we just expressed that and it felt so good .

Lunden Souza 15:34

And then yesterday I was on a call with her and I'm like how's your anger , how are you feeling ?

Lunden Souza 15:37

And she's like I feel like it's gone .

Lunden Souza 15:39

I feel like I've moved through it .

Lunden Souza 15:41

And I was like me too . And she's like , yeah , I had a conversation with this person . Then that person , which were people that she discussed were bringing up anger for her , but instead of staying angry at them and just being pissed off , she had a conversation with them and shared her heart and thought about what she wanted to say to them and communicated consciously and was able to have good conversations with those people . And so I just think being able to have people that you can reach out to , not that are going to be like oh yeah , let's Ruminating is different than moving through , and ruminating is just like staying stuck and marinating and all of that . And and not to say you have to chop , chop , get through the hard day and get through the anger right , but you get to decide how long do you wanna stay there and what do you wanna learn from it . So I always love talking to my friend Haley about that , because she's just so magnificent . And yeah , her and I do a lot of work with Dr Joe Dispenza and we meditate a lot , and so I just feel like we're on the same page when it comes to what we want , when we're expressing to one another .

Lunden Souza 16:56

And I think sometimes people will just be like oh , I'm sorry , I'm sorry that you're feeling that way and change the subject and it's like no , you don't have to be sorry that I'm feeling this way , I just want to share it with you . But some people don't know how to hold space for others' emotions , and that's not their fault , it's all good . It's just like choose the people that you trust and that can hold space for you to express what's going on in the hardness . So those are the four things I want to offer you today on this episode to help on those hard days . Remember the power of presence , talk to that emotion and figure out what it's trying to teach you .

Lunden Souza 17:27

Number three go out and be the rainbow in someone else's storm . And number four talk to somebody about it . Tell someone about it and if you don't have someone to talk to about it , you can send me a DM on Instagram . You can send me a little audio message . I'm @lifelikelunden on Instagram and if this episode resonates with you , I would love if you could share this episode with a friend via text or send them a DM . That's the ultimate compliment .

Lunden Souza 17:55

When you like this episode , when you like one of the episodes that I share is , share it with somebody , spread the word and if you're having a hard day , I hope that these tips help . See you at the next episode . Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat THE PODCAST . Hey , do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast , give us a review . This really helps a lot and share this with a friend . I'm only one person and with your help , we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world . I'm Lunden Souza , reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion , presence and purpose , fueled by self-love . This podcast is a Hitspot Austria production .