Hard Days: 4 Helpful Tools

Have you ever had a hard day? That's definitely a rhetorical question because we ALL have had them. In this episode, Lunden shares 4 practical strategies to deal with hard days and move through some of those challenging, stressful moments.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode
0:00 Intro
0:21 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
3:57 Grounding Yourself in the Present Moment
6:38 Embracing Self-Compassion by Talking to Your Emotions
11:46 Being a Rainbow in Someone's Storm
13:41 Seeking Support

Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 188: "The Makaranda Method: A Path to Wholeness with Eleanor Evans Medina"

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:21 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
• 3:57 Grounding Yourself in the Present Moment
• 6:38 Embracing Self-Compassion by Talking to Your Emotions
• 11:46 Being a Rainbow in Someone's Storm
• 13:41 Seeking Support

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 0:01

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat THE PODCAST, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot Go.

Lunden Souza: 2:14

Welcome back to the podcast. Today we are talking about hard days. I know that everybody listening to this episode has had a hard day before. I know I for sure have, and I want to share four things that I know can help, that have helped me a lot recently through some hard and challenging times. And there's a difference between acknowledging that there's hard days and wanting to move through that and be the person that you want to be, even when things are hard. And then there's a difference between, like, ruminating in the hard stuff right, and I'm sure we can all think of somebody that hangs out in the hard all the time. Everything's hard, this is hard, this person makes this hard and, yeah, I can even think about parts of me that maybe have hung out in the hard too long, if that makes sense. But I really feel like over the last year, especially the last six months, I've taken on a lot and I know that you have too, and so these four things I know will be super helpful to reflect on. Maybe one of these will help you more than others, maybe all of them will be helpful. When I was making this list of these four things and I did a meditation right before this and was just thinking about the things and tools that have helped me, I really feel like all four of these are super powerful and I use all of them. I have used all of them, especially recently, and so if you can take them all in, great. If there's one that speaks to you, awesome. But these are four things to help on your hard days.

Lunden Souza: 3:57

Number one is the power of presence. When things are hard and we have busy schedules and we're wearing a lot of hats and there's a lot going on, it's important that we be where we are. Sometimes we can think about the next five, 10 things that we need to get done, and then we're stressed about the things that we didn't do yet, and I had a really awesome guest on the podcast and she mentioned doing the things that you do while you're doing them. Do the things, do what you do while you're doing it, right, be where you're at while you're doing it. And this has been so oh my gosh, so powerful to me, because I wear a lot of hats, I know that you do too. And if we can just be where we're at right, be in this meeting, be in this podcast recording, be with our kids in the moment when we're having this conversation, be with our partner in that moment when we're having the conversation, do what you can to be present. And this is why I love meditation so much, because you practice getting out of the past and getting out of the future and being right in the present moment. And so I think what helps me the most when things are hard and especially I have full days, is being like okay, be right where you're.

Lunden Souza: 5:24

At Lunden, you know, this morning I woke up really early, I had um, I went and did my workout at hot works, which I love, and then I came back and I had um, a call with my assistant, and it was like a 20 minute call and I wanted to be really present with her and talk to her and, you know, ask her how I can support her and just work as a team, like we always do. And then I took my supplements for my detox and while I had them in my mouth you're supposed to hold them for like 45 to 60 seconds in your mouth I put my hand over my heart and just was present taking my supplements. And then I came here to do this podcast and press record and so, whatever it is that you're doing, I know you're doing a lot and you're doing a great job, but do what you do while you're doing it. And when I said that initially, I was like I had a guest on my podcast and I couldn't remember her name off the top of my head, but it's Eleanor Evans Medina. I love her. Her name was on the tip of my tongue and I'll put the link to that podcast episode in the show notes. But that really inspired me when she said that Do what you do while you're doing it.

Lunden Souza: 6:38

So, even when it's hard, be present for what's happening right in front of you, we don't need to be 27 steps ahead, we just need to be right in this moment, because that's all we can do, right, all we can do is be present where we're at and do our best in this moment. So that's the first thing the power of presence. Number two when we're having a hard day and an emotion might come up right. It might be fear, angst, frustration. Talk to that emotion. Ask your emotion. Ask it what it's trying to tell you, what it's trying to teach you. We're not taught to talk to our emotions. We're taught to push our emotions down and to not cry and everything's going to be okay and it's not that big of a deal and just like suck it up, push it down, right.

Lunden Souza: 7:32

But as I've gotten older, I realized it's so important to feel all of the feels and not numb the feels. In fact, yesterday I was walking around with some people from my team to go look at Halloween decorations in my neighborhood. First of all, my neighborhood has the most amazing Halloween decorations I've ever seen in my entire life. But there's a house that they did Inside Out 2. They had all of the different emotions and if you haven't seen Inside Out 2, I highly, highly, highly recommend it. I watched it on the airplane the other day on the way to California and then on the way back On the way there I was kind of watching the movie and multitasking Thankfully, I should say, yeah, thankfully, Delta Airlines has a lot of Wi-Fi in their airplanes, and so I was like working and simultaneously watching the video but then or the movie. But then on my way back I was like I'm going to watch the movie uninterrupted, and so I highly recommend watching Inside Out 2. But there's a house that decorated their house like the Inside Out 2 house and there was like a big sign that said like it's okay to feel all the feels, and then it also had like a QR code that you can scan to reach out to someone if you feel overwhelmed or need support with mental health and all the things, which I thought was so beautiful.

Lunden Souza: 8:51

But talking to that emotion and asking it what it's trying to teach you. Now I have had panic attacks in my life and I used to have a lot of them and I used to numb through a lot of them and it's been a while since I've had one, probably over a year, but I had one recently, like a few weeks ago, and it was really intense. I could tell I was just super stressed. My jaw was like trembling, my hands were shaking. It was a really intense panic attack actually. But yeah, you know we all go through the things and I think what I'm most grateful for is that I know that I don't have them as often as I used to. Meditation has helped me so much through that.

Lunden Souza: 9:42

But in the middle of this panic attack, you know being able to talk to that emotion and ask what it's trying to teach me and I know this episode is about hard days, not panic attacks but I think this is a specific moment that I can recall in my recent life where I had, you know, this overwhelming emotion and I was like what are you trying to teach me? In the middle of my jaw chattering and just yeah, it was like it's trying to tell me that it's okay to not be perfect. It's trying to tell me that it's okay to not have everything under control. It's trying to tell me that nobody is. It's not as big of a reflection on me as I am making it out to be right Sometimes, when things don't go systemized and organized in my life remember, I am the director of a company, I run multiple businesses.

Lunden Souza: 10:36

Systems and processes are very important to me and sometimes I feel like when the systems and processes are not followed. It's a reflection on me. That's the feeling that I know comes up, right, that's the shadow in me that comes up. And so I just talked to it and I was like it's trying to tell me that it's okay, like no one's perfect, and yeah, just talking to that emotion. And then I was talking to myself and saying, like it's okay, you're doing such a great job, Lunden, you are pushing through, you're helping so many people. You're just, yeah, hyping myself up, talking to that emotion, figuring out what it's trying to teach you, and then talk to yourself the way that you know you need to be talked to right. Oftentimes we can be our own worst critic and be our own worst enemy and our self-talk can just be like, well, you should have got that done and that's your fault for not having that in order. That's sometimes what my inner dialogue is like, but awareness of that is huge. And so that's the second one Talk to that emotion and ask it what it's trying to tell you, what it's trying to teach you.

Lunden Souza: 11:46

Number three this was a little reminder and sign that I saw the other day when I was at the grocery store and it said go out and be the rainbow in someone else's storm, and that's the third thing to help on hard days is go out and serve others. Go out and hype somebody else up. Send somebody else a really nice text message. Go make a meal for somebody else. Right, go out and be the rainbow in somebody else's storm. Even when we're having our hard days or we're having our good days, we go out and we interact with other people. Right, and people are not wearing their emotions like they do on the Inside Out movie. Right, they're not going to turn completely blue when they're sad. They're not going to be dressed in all green with blue hair when they're joyful. And sometimes, yeah, people go out in the world just doing their best and we don't know what they're going through. They could be having a hard day, they could have just lost somebody, they could be having the best day and you could go out and say something kind to them and it could enhance their day even more.

Lunden Souza: 12:56

I was recently driving out to St George, which is in Southern Utah. It was like a four-hour drive and I left pretty early in the morning because I had to be there pretty early as well. So I left like at 4 am and I was having a really good day and I was listening to good music and I went to Dutch Bros Coffee to get a coffee and the guy there was so nice and he was like what are you doing so early? And I was just like, oh, I'm heading out to St. George and blah, blah, blah. And then he handed me the coffee and he was like it's on me? And I was like thank you, and it was just so sweet and so kind and I wasn't having necessarily a super hard day that day but I was definitely driving four hours at four o'clock in the morning so it was nice that he went out of his way to just do a little random act of kindness.

Lunden Souza: 13:41

So when you feel like you're having a hard day, remember it's not all about you. Remember there's other people out there Not to discount your hard, right? I'm not saying like you know, don't feel the hard, and just you know, push it down and go be kind to others. That's not what I'm saying. But just recognize like the hard day in me sees the hard day in you, namaste, right, that's like the end of a yoga class, right, it's like the divine in me honors the divine in you. You can take out divine and put anything in that sentence right, the hard day in me, the struggle in me, recognizes the struggle in you. So when we go out and be that rainbow in someone else's storm, or even be the rainbow in someone else's blue sky, beautiful, cloud day, right, just go out and do something kind for somebody else. And then the fourth one is tell someone about it. Tell somebody about your hard day that you trust, that you know is going to hold space for you, that you know is not going to take you down further, that you know is going to hold space for you, that you know is not going to take you down further, that you know is not going to ruminate in the hard right, but that's going to be there for you.

Lunden Souza: 14:54

I recently did a post on Instagram about anger and I was feeling really angry. A week ago, I think it was a week ago, and I could just feel anger coming up. And what I know about anger is you can move through anger right. When you're in despair and depression, anxiety, those emotions, it's really hard to take action from those. So even when I was in anger, I was like, okay, at least I know I can move with this right, like I can do something with this anger. But I shared it with my friend Haley and she was like, oh my gosh, me too I've been feeling so angry about X, y or Z. And so we just shared that with each other and we just expressed that and it felt so good.

Lunden Souza: 15:34

And then yesterday I was on a call with her and I'm like how's your anger, how are you feeling?

Lunden Souza: 15:37

And she's like I feel like it's gone.

Lunden Souza: 15:39

I feel like I've moved through it.

Lunden Souza: 15:41

And I was like me too. And she's like, yeah, I had a conversation with this person. Then that person, which were people that she discussed were bringing up anger for her, but instead of staying angry at them and just being pissed off, she had a conversation with them and shared her heart and thought about what she wanted to say to them and communicated consciously and was able to have good conversations with those people. And so I just think being able to have people that you can reach out to, not that are going to be like oh yeah, let's Ruminating is different than moving through, and ruminating is just like staying stuck and marinating and all of that. And and not to say you have to chop, chop, get through the hard day and get through the anger right, but you get to decide how long do you wanna stay there and what do you wanna learn from it. So I always love talking to my friend Haley about that, because she's just so magnificent. And yeah, her and I do a lot of work with Dr Joe Dispenza and we meditate a lot, and so I just feel like we're on the same page when it comes to what we want, when we're expressing to one another.

Lunden Souza: 16:56

And I think sometimes people will just be like oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you're feeling that way and change the subject and it's like no, you don't have to be sorry that I'm feeling this way, I just want to share it with you. But some people don't know how to hold space for others' emotions, and that's not their fault, it's all good. It's just like choose the people that you trust and that can hold space for you to express what's going on in the hardness. So those are the four things I want to offer you today on this episode to help on those hard days. Remember the power of presence, talk to that emotion and figure out what it's trying to teach you.

Lunden Souza: 17:27

Number three go out and be the rainbow in someone else's storm. And number four talk to somebody about it. Tell someone about it and if you don't have someone to talk to about it, you can send me a DM on Instagram. You can send me a little audio message. I'm @lifelikelunden on Instagram and if this episode resonates with you, I would love if you could share this episode with a friend via text or send them a DM. That's the ultimate compliment.

Lunden Souza: 17:55

When you like this episode, when you like one of the episodes that I share is, share it with somebody, spread the word and if you're having a hard day, I hope that these tips help. See you at the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat THE PODCAST. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self-love. This podcast is a Hitspot Austria production.