Reflection Questions (My 36th Birthday)

In this episode, Lunden reflects on some questions about her 36 years alive. Whether it was your birthday recently or not, these questions are powerful to ponder any time of the year. Tune in!

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode:
0:00 Intro
0:24 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
3:32 Life Lessons at 36
6:19 Courage and Growth: Moving To A New State
12:33 Letting Go and Moving Forward
22:07 Shifting Gears for A New Perspective

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:24 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
• 3:32 Life Lessons at 36
• 6:19 Courage and Growth: Moving To A New State
• 12:33 Letting Go and Moving Forward
• 22:07 Shifting Gears for A New Perspective

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 0:00

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, before we jump into this episode, I just want to make sure that you get all the free things possible, if you haven't already. You need to get your self-love and sweat free monthly life coaching calendar. Honestly, the way to experience deep change in your life is by doing small little things over time, and so that's what you'll find in this free calendar. You can get it by going to lifelikelunden. com/calendar. Get yours for free and let's get into today's episode. Happy today and welcome back to the podcast.

Lunden Souza: 1:05

I turned 36 last month, which is so wild. Sometimes I don't know if you guys are the same, but sometimes I'll think about age and it just like really trips me out. Like I remember when my mom turned 33. I don't remember like specifically what we did. I don't remember like, yeah, I don't know her birthday party or what we did to celebrate. I just remember my mom turning 33. And you know, we have these embedded ideas or beliefs embedded ideas or beliefs in society that like, oh, this age means this and by this age you should be here and at this age you should be making this much money or be married and have kids or just whatever. And I think one thing that I am really proud of it hasn't always been easy, definitely not easy. For sure, not Even now it doesn't feel super easy. But one thing I'm really proud of myself is I've always kind of written my own story, my own version of life. That's really what Life Like Lunden is. That's what my social media channels are Life Like Lunden. And it's not like, hey, come over here and do exactly what I'm doing and live my same life. That's not what it's about. It's like the world is going to tell you what it thinks you should do or what you're supposed to do. But what is life like? Insert your name. What do you want to do? What do you want to get out of life? What experiences do you want to have? What do you want to learn? What does your growth path look like? And so, even though there have been a lot of highs and lows with choosing to write my own book, let's say I'm really proud of that, say I'm really proud of that and yeah.

Lunden Souza: 3:31

So anyways, I wanted to share reflections from my 36 years of life. And I've done like episodes before where I'm like 20 things I learned in my 20s or I thought about like 36 things I learned at 36. And then I was like, oh, why don't we just ask chat GPT for some questions for reflection? And that's what I did. So I asked chat GPT. I was like, can you give me questions to reflect on my 36th birthday? And then chat GPT wrote back and was like happy 36th birthday. Here are five reflective questions to help you celebrate, gain insight and set intentions for the future. So that's what we're going to do today. We're going to go through all of these questions. And then I asked for some more too. So I just kind of copy and pasted some of my favorite ones.

Lunden Souza: 4:19

But it doesn't have to be your birthday to use these questions for reflection. I think these are all really powerful questions. Sometimes we can get caught up in watching a series on TV or mindlessly scrolling. So, honestly, I use ChatGPT often to give me questions to just like journal about or reflect on or just get my brain out of. Yeah, just like scrolling, watching mindless stuff, whatever. So I love ChatGPT for many reasons, but these questions are straight from ChatGPT. So what number one. And this is kind of cool because we're at the end of the year as well, so you can kind of reflect on this last year, even if it's not your birthday. It doesn't have to be birthday reflection questions or anything.

Lunden Souza: 5:16

But the first one is what am I most proud of accomplishing in the past year and why does it matter to me the past year? And why does it matter to me, what am I most proud of accomplishing in this past year, in the past year, and why does it matter to me? I think what I'm most proud of accomplishing the last year is this rebuild of my life and moving to Utah Last July so it's December now, but last July I came to Utah for a month to hike, or that was what I thought, and then I fell in love with it. I did this most amazing hike called Bell's Canyon to Lower Falls. It's in the Cottonwood Mountains and it is phenomenal. And I did that hike and I was like, oh, I'm not going anywhere, I am staying here and I love it and I'm very proud of that decision and accomplishing all that I have in this rebuild right.

Lunden Souza: 6:19

It's like moving somewhere new, establishing like where you're going to live and what your day-to-day looks like. Even just finding my new gym and yoga studio and community. I just finally I was thinking about this I'm like I don't think I've ever lived somewhere where I really knew my neighbors, think I've ever lived somewhere where I really knew my neighbors, and so I've developed great relationships with my neighbors and my neighborhood, created and stepped into different communities and, yeah, I met a lot of really, really really cool people. In fact, elisa Marie was just over and we recorded a podcast which actually I cried afterwards, I pressed stop recording and then I just sat there with her and just tears came down my eyes. She's amazing. She's someone I've met here in Utah whose story just continues. Learning more and more about her continues to just feed my soul. She's so incredible, but I met her. I've met so many amazing people in Utah and so I think my biggest accomplishment is just, yeah, what I'm most proud of accomplishing is stepping out, moving somewhere new.

Lunden Souza: 7:38

For no reason other than it was what I chose, because, when I think about when I left my parents' house at 17, I moved to Long Beach State to go to college. I moved to Austria to work for a company called Runtastic and at the time I was dating Joe and he lived there too and worked for Runtastic. So I moved there for love and for business or for work. And then I moved back to America because it was COVID and that was really the only option. I mean, I guess I could have stayed there while everything was shut down, but I didn't want to do that. So I moved back and then when I chose Utah, I was like, oh, I could choose anywhere, I could choose anything.

Lunden Souza: 8:24

And so I read this book that I love. I read it a lot. It's called Shadow Work by Danielle Massey, and by getting deep down into our shadows and into the dark parts of us and clearing things out of our subconscious, letting things come up and metabolize, really helped me understand how to and the power of manifestation. And so I went through that whole chapter of the book on how to manifest truly and made a list of all the things I wanted to experience and how it felt and tasted and smelled and just everything. And now I'm living that manifestation. I remember sitting down with my journal and just writing down all the things I wanted to experience, praying about it, meditating on it, being nervous but also excited about this to reveal itself to me. Anyways, it was just a very interesting process to choose to move somewhere, all based on my choice. So I'm very proud of that and accomplishing it. And I remember there's just yeah, there's.

Lunden Souza: 9:39

Things are hard when you're. There are hard moments always right, like no matter what, there's going to be highs and lows and ups and downs. And one thing that my mom said to me which really inspired me, I think, or just reminded me of my greatness. You know, it's really easy Myself too. It's like we get kind of caught up in the like the yeah, in the not so great parts, and I like doing both. I like looking at the not so great and the great, but sometimes it's hard to see the greatness within ourselves. We're in a funk or a stuck spot or whatever.

Lunden Souza: 10:18

And she was like I feel so proud of you. She's like all the things you're doing I did with your dad. We had two incomes coming together and it wasn't just me, it was me and him. And you're doing a lot of this stuff by yourself. You should be really proud of yourself. And I was like oh yeah, thanks, mom, I appreciate it. Not that there's anything wrong with combining forces and creating a partnership and combining income. There's nothing wrong with that at all. But there were moments where I just felt a little bit frustrated and not good enough. And then when she said that, I was like, oh yeah, but you're Lunden, party of one, and you're taking care of yourself and you're building businesses and you're doing all of this, give yourself a little bit of credit. So when my mom said that that was really empowering and the second part of this question says and why does it matter to me? I think it matters to me, especially now, because to process and feel and heal it takes a level of safety. Your body has to feel. Your body, your heart, your spirit, your mind has to feel safe in order to release any stuck emotions, trapped, traumas, just anything that's holding you back.

Lunden Souza: 11:42

I feel like over the last year has probably been the most stable I've ever been. Like I have oh my gosh, like my dream apartment. I'm obsessed, like I can't I go outside and I go for walks and I'm like this is where I live, like this is wild, like it's gorgeous. There's not a rock out of place, there's a lake. I can stand up paddleboard on my like, I have easy access to go, hike and explore pretty much wherever I want, like there's so much beauty in what I see with my eyes opened and I, um, yeah, I feel so grateful for that right. And also this has been a year of so much coming up for me.

Lunden Souza: 12:33

Yesterday I was on the floor in my kitchen just sobbing and wailing and just getting just like getting out feelings that are time to get out right, and I think I haven't been in a space in a long time where I've been able to slow down enough and then feel safe enough to express and then to have relationships in my life of people that I've met, where I can express those things safely and have it be okay to not feel okay and have it be, you know, beautiful that I want to. You know, express and cry and feel. Um, it doesn't have to be joyful and positive and happy and amazing all the time. Now that doesn't mean that I'm not going to choose gratitude or choose the next good, most empowering thought. There are going to be moments where things are messy, and so that's the long answer to that question is I'm proud of this move over the last year and of the community I've created within myself, like to me, from me and then also the community that I've built or connected with since being here. And it matters to me because I finally feel like I'm in a safe enough spot to feel and process and navigate and, yeah, just feel deeply right, like I can feel such joy and such bliss and such inspiration and love. And I can also feel like deep sorrow, sadness, despair, and it's like sometimes there's not even anything I don't know particularly bad that's happening. It's just like the flow of that feminine energy. It's like sometimes things come up and I'm like I just need to like cry and scream and I can do that and I have the space to do that. And so that's the answer to that question for me.

Lunden Souza: 14:55

What other questions here? What is one belief I'm ready to let go of as I step into this new chapter and what empowering belief can I replace it? By the way, I didn't prepare any answers to any of these questions, so as I'm reading them, I kind of copied and pasted some. I'm like thinking of it as we go One belief I'm ready to let go of as I step into this chapter and what empowering belief can replace it? I think the belief is like. The belief is about, like I think in a lot of areas of my life, I do a really good job of not waiting for the experience on the outside to dictate how I'm feeling on the inside. Right, Like feeling gratitude ahead of the experience, feeling love and joy and peace, even when things don't feel that way, like I don't. I definitely have a beautiful belief that I love that we can't wait for things outside of us to change in order for things on the inside of us to change.

Lunden Souza: 16:42

Now I think the belief that I'm ready to let go of is it's okay to have multiple days of not feeling amazing. I think I'm used to like having a couple days of just feeling like sad or down or maybe frustrated or just moving through some things. I need to feel right and I think the belief is like I can still be the Lunden I want to be with all of the feels, and sometimes the feels that are not so pleasant can be present longer, and that's okay. So I'm trying to figure out how to word this in a way that answers the question. Not that I need to. This is my podcast. I can do it. However, the fuck I want to do it.

Lunden Souza: 17:37

But what is one belief I'm ready to let go of is like you have to feel good most of the time in order to like keep it moving. You know, and it's just wild because I felt so much over the last year like sad, anger, rage, frustration, happiness, love, sorrow, just all the feels, and it's okay. It's okay to feel all the feels. Nothing has to be wrong If you feel sad or upset or frustrated. Nothing has to have happened. It could just be that sadness or anger and frustration feel safe enough now to start to come up. And so, yeah, that's a belief I want to bring into my like all, all emotions are beautiful. All of them have a place and have a purpose.

Lunden Souza: 18:46

Um, you can, and maybe this is kind of the belief is like, especially like over the last few months, I have been feeling a lot of these things and then I'm like how you know and and messing up royally in a lot of ways with communication and feelings and understanding my feelings, and just being like super fucking messy. And I think the belief I had is like you can't be messy and be a coach and have a podcast, like if you're messy, you can't share that mess, and I don't think I've ever said it that way but, as I'm talking myself through it, that's what it really feels like is you can be messy and that's the new belief I want to bring into my next year is you can be messy and have a really good and loving relationship. You can be messy and be very successful in business. You can be messy and have a podcast and be a coach and help others. I can be messy and I can help others.

Lunden Souza: 19:55

And I think the programming of just always trying to look a certain way and my grandparents were visiting with my mom a few weekends ago and my grandpa is very nitpicky to my grandma and he was having her pick up a crumb of food that was on the table and me and my mom were just like, grandpa, give it a rest. And he's like, well, what if it falls on her shirt? And we were like, okay, it's her shirt, and who cares if the food falls on her shirt? He's like, well, what will other people think if they see that mark on her shirt? And in that moment I looked over at my mom and I was like that sentence is embedded in the genetic makeup. That is so much. It was a sentence and a moment and a snapshot that allowed me to realize, oh yeah, you can be messy, you can have a stain on your shirt and it's all good.

Lunden Souza: 21:03

But if the programming is, you have to look a certain way and be a certain way, or else what other? What will other people think? That's a pretty deep root root to uproot honey, and that's a lot of what I've been, um, working through is like the fear of what others might think, even though I didn't realize that was it. But you do a lot of this inner work and you meditate and you do NLP and you experiment with just possibility and these things start coming up and you're like, oh yeah, maybe there is a part of me that's afraid to share the mess. And then there I was, sitting across from my grandma and grandpa, literally like a mess on the table that was going to hypothetically show up on her shirt that somebody that hasn't even seen it yet is going to judge her on. It's just wild. I love the unpacking of ancestral stuff and so that's the belief is like I can be messy and that's what I'm bringing with me. That's what I'm bringing with me.

Lunden Souza: 22:07

Next question what is one area of my life where I want to focus more attention and energy as I step into my 36th year, one area of my life. So I was talking with my friend Kara this morning. We talk every single day on audio messages and we're very real with each other. She's very real with me. I very much appreciate it, but she's just like I feel like you need to play more. She's like I feel like you need to just go out and do something that's not work or not about the podcast, or just not about anything other than just playing. She's like, yeah, you go to the park and you swing. She's like, but what is really going to feel like play and fun for you? And I was like, oh yeah. So focusing more on play is something I want to lean into this year.

Lunden Souza: 23:13

I feel like I play a lot too. I hang out with kids a lot. I play a lot. I love doing arts and crafts. I also really love to dance, and so I think in my 36th year, play might look like more dancing. My friend hosts a static dance. I'm going to go to more of those next year. I also, yeah, I want to find I will find like a dance studio, a place that I can take dance classes and just move in a group and just learn choreography and kind of let go. I think that will feel so good and so fun. But yeah, I don't. I mean, like I said, I don't and I feel like I've been playing. But this reflection from my best friend of being like I feel like you need to play more, I'm like, okay, what does that look like? I'm not really sure, but I love to dance, so I think it might be more dancing and I think, too, a lot of my life and adventure has been from going to new places.

Lunden Souza: 24:26

Like, I'm still always going to love to travel, I'm still going to keep traveling, but I also want to travel and discover and play right where I'm at. I noticed that last week when I was just feeling a little bit down, even yesterday, when I just broke down in my kitchen and was just crying, I was like, oh, I wish I could just go somewhere, pack my bags and go on an adventure. But I'm like, yeah, Lunden, that's what you've always done. You've traveled everywhere. You've been to more countries than many people will ever be in their lifetime, you know, and you did like so many great adventures.

Lunden Souza: 25:06

Anyways, the feeling I want to cultivate more is more playing and then more adventures without going anywhere. I mean I can go places within Utah, I can go wherever I want. I just mean that need or desire to like go somewhere new, to feel something new. I kind of want to let go of that for sure. So one area I want to focus more attention and energy is in play and fun, and also like within my inner space, right, like just going places with your eyes closed or going on adventures in your own backyard. I don't need to be, even though I love to be, and I'm going to keep doing it because I fucking love it. I love being on airplanes, I love airports, I love the whole process of traveling. I love it, but I also want to make sure that I'm not going when I need to be being.

Lunden Souza: 25:59

Like I said no planned answers to these questions here, so, as I'm talking them out, I'm just like processing as we go through. Um, let's see what is okay. This will be the last one. This is a good one. Um, if I could ask my future self for guidance about the year ahead, what advice would they give me and how can I integrate that wisdom now? If I could ask my future self for guidance about the year ahead. I'm going to close my eyes and imagine myself on my timeline now, and then I'm looking forward at my future. So what I'm getting is stop trying to control everything. Have fun, play more, be yourself more Be yourself. It's okay to have moments that don't feel great, and you can still be great.

Lunden Souza: 27:16

What does the question say? Okay, guidance for the year ahead you can do things on your own. You don't need someone else to fix you or put you back together. You are whole, even with your broken pieces. Keep going, wake up, do all the things that you know help you feel good, like exercise and meditation and eating well and eating with the desire to nourish, which is something I feel like I've just. I'm so proud of myself for overcoming the need to eat a certain way, to look a certain way, like over the past I would say like four or five years I just really feel like the nourishment from food outside of, like what I'm going to look like, which feels so great.

Lunden Souza: 28:22

Um, guidance from my future self is just to keep. Keep doing the things that I know. Move the needle. Um, probably say no to more things or let go of certain things. Um, I've always felt a big desire to have this podcast, so I know for certain that that's never something I'm going to say no to. But I think there are other things that I get to say no to and let go of in order to make more space for this podcast and more space for expression of myself and others, to use my voice, to let others use their voice as well.

Lunden Souza: 29:12

Do more things that scare you. What other guidance is future me giving me? Be more present with the people that you love. Stay sober. I've been really sober over the last year, which is cool, so I think that's the right path. I know that's the right path. I know that's the right path and keep smiling. That's what my future self gave me. And how can I integrate that wisdom now? Yeah, I think just saying it out loud helps me integrate it. I don't think I sat in that way that I did just now of like visualizing where I'm at and my future self on my timeline and then asking for that wisdom. That was really cool. I enjoyed that, and I think I just want to end with saying thank you for listening and for being a part of Self Love and Sweat the podcast.

Lunden Souza: 30:29

Maybe you've listened to this podcast since we started, which was very different than how. It is now A lot more like fitness, physical health, which I talk about here too as well sometimes, but it was very much more like, yeah, fitness, health and nutrition focused, and now I just feel like this has become a space for me to share and express for others and for others to be impacted. I love getting messages from listeners about how it's helped them change their perspective, change their heart posture, have a realization or a learning. Sometimes it's not even like what is said on a podcast, but it's like you sitting down, choosing the topic, listening coming as you are, and then hearing something that ignites something else in you, and then you kind of figure out a new solution or a new path on your own, and I think that's kind of the power of expressing our voice and sharing and being unapologetic in sharing the mess as well. I think that's what's really cool about this podcast. So thank you for being here and for listening and for tapping in and for hearing what I have to say about what I think I know in 36 years, which is crazy. Yeah, I love you.

Lunden Souza: 32:01

That's all for today. See you at the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat the Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode or were inspired by it or something resonated with you, do me a favor and share this episode with a friend, someone that you think might enjoy this episode as well. That's the ultimate compliment and the best way to make this podcast ripple out into the world of others, and also you can leave us a review up to five stars wherever you're listening to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you at the next episode. I appreciate you.