Sobriety & Your DNA with Lane Kennedy (The Mindfulness Coach of the City of San Francisco)

What if your DNA could give you insights into your sobriety journey? In this episode, I sit down with Lane Kennedy, mindfulness coach for the city of San Francisco, to explore the science of addiction, genetics, and how understanding your DNA can impact your path to recovery. 

We explore how genetics shape alcohol use, the impact of epigenetics on healing, and the importance of a personalized sobriety approach. Whether you're sober-curious, in recovery, or just love science and self-discovery, this chat will expand your perspective.

Timestamps to help you navigate this episode
0:00 Intro
0:24 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
7:47 How Mindfulness Affects Your Present Life
10:40 What Is Mindfulness?
16:35 Overcoming Addiction with Genetic Awareness
22:19 Mindful Parenting in a Digital Age
32:51 Recovery and Making Fast Decisions

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:24 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
• 7:47 How Mindfulness Affects Your Present Life
• 10:40 What Is Mindfulness?
• 16:35 Overcoming Addiction with Genetic Awareness
• 22:19 Mindful Parenting in a Digital Age
• 32:51 Recovery and Making Fast Decisions

Transcript

Lunden Souza: 0:00

Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, before we jump into this episode, I just want to make sure that you get all the free things possible, if you haven't already. You need to get your self-love and sweat free monthly life coaching calendar. Honestly, the way to experience deep change in your life is by doing small little things over time, and so that's what you'll find in this free calendar. You can get it by going to lifelikelunden calendar. Get yours for free and let's get into .

Lunden Souza: 1:01

Welcome back to the podcast. We have Lane Kennedy and if you're watching this video, you yeah, if you're me and you're watching this video, you have the heart emojis on your eyes because looking at Lane and her background and her do-good shirt and your bright smile and just the yeah, the light force, I know you are in this world. I'm so grateful to have you. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. I'm so grateful to have you. Welcome to the show.

Lane Kennedy: 1:25

Thanks for having me. It's so good to be with you Lunden.

Lunden Souza: 1:29

I've just so enjoyed getting to know you over the last. Has it been months? Have we ever had a year-iversary of knowing each other yet? I don't know, but it feels like way longer.

Lane Kennedy: 1:40

It feels like way longer, but I know Well. We officially met, right Was it. April yeah.

Lunden Souza: 1:47

Okay, april of last year, so we're getting there. Yeah, we're getting there.

Lane Kennedy: 1:51

But I knew about you way before then and I was super. I was super jealous. I was like who is this Lunden? I don't understand. She's getting all the attention. That's right Me jealous.

Lunden Souza: 2:05

Ditto Reciprocated.

Lane Kennedy: 2:07

But now that I know you, I just adore you and just love you. It's so awesome.

Lunden Souza: 2:12

I well, thanks for sharing that and for, yeah, counting back. It's been since April was our last NABA event in Austin, texas, and I just felt like at that event I was so drawn to you and we got to hang out by the pool a little bit and I feel like it feels way longer and maybe it just feels that way because of what we're drawn to in life and the way that our work gets to do its connected thing. But I want you to tell everyone what you do and who you are and give your little yeah intro. I mean I can intro you too. Lane is the mindfulness coach of San Francisco. She does amazing work in DNA and, yeah, it's just a mom lovely heart and I feel like that only like scratches the surface a little bit. But what's it like doing your thing? What is your favorite part about what you do?

Lane Kennedy: 3:20

Well, you know, I really think about how everyone's moving about in the world these days. I mean, for the past, I had my son. He's 15. So, you know, 16 years ago, I recognized that society was running at a rapid rate and when I became a mom, like my whole world changed in ways that I had no idea that it would change. And I was already you know, quote spiritual. I was already working a spiritual path.

Lane Kennedy: 4:00

But what became evident to me was that I needed something more than that and I fell into a deeper path of mindfulness, out of a spiritual crisis and I talk about the spiritual crisis all the time in that, you know, I had my son and he was strapped in the back of the car and I found myself outside of my car yelling and screaming at a stranger because they weren't driving the way that I wanted them to, yelling and screaming at a stranger because they weren't driving the way that I wanted them to. And when you have a two-year-old in your car and you're doing that, that's not okay when you say that you're like quote living a spiritual path. And so in that moment of crisis, I had this out-of-body experience and really watched myself and I thought something needs to change and so, luckily for me, I'm very open and curious by nature and so I started to study mindfulness and I took my meditation practice more deeply. I'd already studied Buddhism. I lived in Thailand for a while, lived with the monks and studied, so I was like, again, I was already on that path, but I wasn't embodying the work.

Lane Kennedy: 5:11

And I think that's really, really relevant to who I am and what I do today is that I try to embody the mindful life and in all areas.

Lane Kennedy: 5:21

Right, like we have so many boxes, so many avenues, so many roads that we all walk, and sometimes I find that people are just mindful or certain way in a certain part of their life and they've, you know, in other areas they're like hitting burnout and, you know, disruption, and so I really try to practice embodying this mindfulness in all areas of it.

Lane Kennedy: 5:50

And it's time, it's commitment, it's being in alignment with myself, and when I'm in alignment with myself, I feel like doors open up and I meet really cool people. I mean, that's how I ended up being the mindfulness teacher for the city of San Francisco. I'm able to work with all the organizations here, so all the city government organizations, from the you know, the cafeteria staff and all the public schools, to librarians, the first responders, the controllers, you know, who write all the paychecks like. Everybody has access to me, and so that's been a really great again experience in bringing mindfulness to a group of people who really are undervalued and overlooked. I feel like city employees are just told what to do and you have to be a certain way, and so when they show up and learn how to be more mindful in their life, it's like a ripple effect that occurs within the city and within their organization. So that's like a part of what I do which is really fun.

Lunden Souza: 7:07

Yeah, I love hearing that because when I signed up for your DNA webinar, there was like a drop down menu that said are you a city employee of the city of San Francisco or something along those lines. And I remember just yeah, thinking like oh, how lucky those people are to have that access to all of your tools and all of your wisdom and, like you said, be able to feel supported and recognized in ways that maybe they don't always feel in the positions that they're in, and I think that, yeah, regardless of what position we hold, incorporating more mindfulness in the day-to-day.

Lunden Souza: 7:47

What is mindfulness to you? How do you define that? Is it being aware of your thoughts? Is it becoming more aware of your awareness? What is mindfulness in that big picture sense to you and how you, yeah, bring that?

Lane Kennedy: 8:07

It's really simple for me. It's like being present right here, right now. There is no other moment. There's nothing else that matters except this conversation that I'm having with you, Lunden, right, and I have like two Irish wolfhounds and I have a son and I have a husband, like, and I have a client list that's demanding and right, like things, but none of that matters because if I'm mindful, I'm right here with you, engaged in this moment, which changes my chemistry, which changes the way that we communicate together, which changes our connection and the coherence that we can create. It's like so cool, so that's what mindfulness is. And people have all these ideas of what mindfulness is. Yeah, right, and it's like don't overthink it.

Lunden Souza: 8:57

Just don't Be here now. Yeah, don't think of it, but yeah, in this present moment, because oftentimes you know our mind is ruminating or, you know, repeating something that's in the past, that we're, you know, not present in this moment or worried about something in the future or what we need to do next, or.

Lunden Souza: 9:31

But yeah, I remember I was like I don't know, maybe eight or 10 years ago, I can't remember specifically, but I just chose to not use the word busy anymore and said full. And the other day, me and Jen Reno were messaging and she said something like I know you're busy or you have a busy day. And I was like no, I have a full day and I shared with her. I'm like a long time ago I decided that I didn't want to be busy and all over the place, and so I would say, oh, my schedule's really full today. I had a full day, I had a full week, and that, for me, always brought me back to that center, present moment of just like no, it's full and there's capacity and abundance and juiciness in this moment. And being here now is mindfulness, and I think there's a lot of tools and ways we get to access the reminder of no. Be here now. And what are your favorite mindfulness tools?

Lane Kennedy: 10:35

I like pleasant, unpleasant a lot. That's like one of my favorite tools to use. Is the experience pleasant or unpleasant? You know, the mind again is very judgmental and if I just put those two categories up I can navigate the world a lot easier or easily. So I like that tool. Another one is just catching my breath.

Lunden Souza: 11:05

Yeah, when you inhale, whenever I do, and you just, not because I was thinking that, but just hearing your breath. I was like just that like audible exhale moment of just soaking all of that oxygen.

Lane Kennedy: 11:23

Yeah, those are two of my favorite, where it's again really easy but overlooked, forgotten.

Lunden Souza: 11:31

And is the pleasant unpleasant one? Just like a self check-in of like, right now, in this moment, does it feel good or not feel good, or where am I at? What is the pleasant unpleasant?

Lane Kennedy: 11:41

No, the pleasant, unpleasant is a part of a mindfulness-based stress reduction. Matt, what is the pleasant, unpleasant? No, the pleasant, unpleasant is a part of mindfulness-based stress reduction. It's part of a programming around how you approach your life and every situation, every action. You have a choice. Is it pleasant or unpleasant? Is it pleasant to go on a walk? Well, no, because it's raining out. I don't want to be. Or, yes, it is, and you don't have to get into the dialogue about it, because that's where the rumination starts to affect and like trickle out into us. So if we can just keep it to those two categories, you can move through things a lot more quickly and not get stuck.

Lunden Souza: 12:21

Yeah, got it Pleasant, unpleasant and yeah, coming back to our breath, mm-hmm, what do you feel like is? I think you said something about mindfulness being like the connection to the present moment, or something like that and, of course, on the flip side, there's the disconnect to that that we oftentimes can call. You know, insert, ailment, whatever, and I know that you have been sober for a long time. I know that Pat Smith Wellness, who I love, who's also part of our community, who I know he does PSW shout out to him, part of our community, who I know we just PSW shout out to him he also talks a lot about just yeah, being in a space of, um, yeah, numbing and consumption and just desiring to have that sober life.

Lunden Souza: 13:16

I also haven't, um, yeah, I think I've had like three or four drinks in the last like year and a half, which is like, yeah, so cool, you know, and I just I can remember just because, like friends, birthdays, glasses of wine, and so I know people listening right, whether you, yeah, that's a journey you're needing to take or just desiring to tap into, I know that a disconnect from that present moment can lead us to do all sorts of things and have things across the board that we're struggling with and I kind of want to talk about what that disconnect could be like and how you found that reconnection with the present moment and chose that.

Lane Kennedy: 13:53

I think addiction and this is where the DNA stuff kind of comes into play is understanding that addiction and disconnection are related and it's really driven by our dopamine receptors, which is through our DNA where I can see what's happening with somebody, and that people will often, you know, like scold themselves and have really horrific conversations of you know, why can I stop smoking cigarettes? Or why do I keep drinking, why do I keep shopping? Why, why, like you know, and then the disconnect is not being in that present moment. Because they're smoking so much. Right, they're doing some kind of addictive behavior, but when I'm able to share with them like well, your DNA, your genetically, this, like this, is your predisposition, is this?

Lane Kennedy: 14:47

So what are you going to do to support yourself in not having that run your life, right? So how can you get into the present moment where you're not having that run you? And it takes a lot of effort. It takes a commitment run you, and it takes a lot of effort. It takes a commitment, it takes like a willingness to go above and beyond, and there's something really dynamic about understanding that it's not your fault, right? That's such a game changer when I talk to people around it's not your fault.

Lunden Souza: 15:25

Like. Your DNA shows this and this is what your brain shows.

Lane Kennedy: 15:30

Right, it's generational here. It's generational like three generations. Here's the evidence. And here you are, 30, 40, 50 years later, dealing with the trauma of your past. It's been imprinted on you. So now you know this information. So how are you going to change it? How are you going to stay in the present moment with yourself knowing that you're up against this? And that's where you start to build tools. That's where you start to really use the NABA community. Right, all the coursework that's in there that can support people in shame. Right, we have a course around shame. We have a course around body image. We have a course around mindset and thinking differently. Right, we have these beautiful courses that can support people that are suffering from that kind of not being able to get into the present moment quite yet because of their genetics. I love that awakening.

Lunden Souza: 16:31

Yeah, and so what do you see in this genetic testing, or what are you looking at? And what do you see when someone's more predisposed to having addictive behavior? And I love what you said too about or I don't know exactly how you said it, but you didn't say like make it go away. You said like how are you going to like do your best when you're up against it, or something very like. Yeah, like in the game, you got to be, like in that present moment, ready to go, because you never know what quite you're up against in that moment with this.

Lane Kennedy: 17:13

You don't know. You don't know what you don't know, right. You walk into a dark closet. You don't know what's in there until you're in there feeling things, right. That's kind of the same way with understanding your DNA. It's like you don't know until you actually see it and somebody has a session with you where you can understand it.

Lane Kennedy: 17:31

You know, it's one thing to get your DNA from 23andMe and be like, oh, this is what I am, but it's another to go through a therapeutic session and have it explained to you and then have a plan created so you can get the support. And that's why I think NABIT is such a cool little hub, because somebody who has an eating disorder, right, who's binging food and then starving themselves, binging food and starving themselves and I went through that cycle so I can talk about it very freely and openly but somebody who's in that kind of cycle we have a course in NABA that helps women or men around body shame and how to look at yourself and how to appreciate who you are, right, that's like a stepping stone to get into the present moment, to support your genetics, to start making the shift, because your genes, your DNA, it is who it is. Now you can change the outcome by changing the lifestyle choices that you make.

Lunden Souza: 18:37

Does that make sense? Yeah, that's the genetics versus the epigenetics component of like you have the genes, but are they expressed?

Lane Kennedy: 18:42

Are they expressed?

Lunden Souza: 18:43

Right, making day-to-day choices in your lifestyle. That is going to support, like the on or off switch of what's going to be a little bit louder right, and still being mindful of all the knobs.

Lane Kennedy: 18:56

Right, right, exactly. You have to be mindful of all the knobs, because it's not just about one. There's many. Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 19:07

Yeah, and you mentioned dopamine. Can we talk about?

Lane Kennedy: 19:11

that a little bit. That's like more right, we just want more.

Lunden Souza: 19:16

Yeah.

Lane Kennedy: 19:17

We want to feel more, and is that available? On?

Lunden Souza: 19:20

the genetic testing that you do is like looking to see what is.

Lane Kennedy: 19:26

Yeah, there's several dopamine receptors that I'm able to view and each dopamine receptor has a little bit different leaning towards. It's like they're not all the same. Yeah Right, so I can. It's like I can see who the person is before I even meet them sometimes, Because people sometimes will just, you know, order through me and then I get to do a consult with them, a session, and I already know who they are when they sit in my chair, which sometimes, you know, some people get a little like, oh, you're not. It's like, are you a psychic? I'm like no.

Lunden Souza: 20:07

Yeah, it's. It's who you are. It's in the genes.

Lane Kennedy: 20:10

It's just your blueprint, it's just yeah, yeah, here you are.

Lunden Souza: 20:14

Your blueprint and I met. I imagine that sometimes feels freeing and sometimes feels not that for people Exactly, exactly.

Lane Kennedy: 20:26

I think there's a lot more freedom in it and a lot more hope in it, because you can make changes. Yeah Right, we are all so, so capable of making change, and so how it's like creating a team of people, or getting around a group of people who are going to support you in making those changes, because a party of one, it can be done. But why do that to yourself when you can have so much fun with a crew of people?

Lunden Souza: 20:53

Yeah, doing it together and, like you said, I went through that so I can speak openly about it, and I think that's really what we get to see. A lot in all that we do, there is like just yeah, okay, that happened, let me share, let me digest it, let me work through that with you alongside and share and help and make that ripple even more. And, like you said initially, the course on shame. But I also think that's a lot of the feels that we often feel surrounding some of these struggles and things that we're navigating. And it's nice to be in a space alongside other people like you, where all of that is like the norm and important.

Lunden Souza: 21:34

And the more we don't do that, the more the disconnect is there and the more that we're able to speak and, like you even said, like you take something specific niche down on what you're struggling with specifically, but also in that big picture, it's just like more connection, more truth, more you know, ability to just like own it and have this be part of that journey. And what you're presently navigating, I think is, yeah, so lovely and one of my favorite things about talking on the podcast and hanging out and um, your son was was at the event, which was so cool, and what did he think and what did he have a choice in coming. What was his take, key takeaways and how do you parent in a mindful way and teach mindfulness to a teenager? Because that's probably not the simplest butter on bread task, or maybe it is, I don't know. I always think moms, I just love hearing from the way we take what we learn and pass it on.

Lane Kennedy: 22:39

Yeah, I've done things really differently with my son. You know he wasn't allowed technology, he wasn't allowed a phone. He just got a phone at 15. We're really kind of, you know, restrictive around technology and his brain. You know, the American Pediatric Society had said, you know, the maximum time a child should be on a device was two hours and that was pre-pandemic. Then pandemic hit and it's all. Bets are off.

Lane Kennedy: 23:08

So now kids are on their devices eight hours, nine hours, 10 hours a day, and so when I think about that in my child and I think about his genetic propensity and his DRDs, his genes, like I know that that's a that can be a big challenge. So I lead by example. Right, I have rules around how he uses technology. He has no screen days where he's just completely off technology and he can read books all day, I don't care. He can go out to the park, he can go to the library, whatever. But I think the biggest tool is around leading by example. And when he came to Austin it was, we were going on a road trip, the two of us, you know we were driving up the coast of California, up to Oregon, up to Washington, up into Toronto, not Toronto, vancouver, so we were just in it together for like a month and when we were in Austin he was like-.

Lunden Souza: 24:14

It was just your next stop. Next stop, come here, my friends, right.

Lane Kennedy: 24:19

He was like I need time, mom. We have a relationship where he's like we need space, I need space from you. You just go, do you. And I was like, yeah, I'll do me.

Lane Kennedy: 24:27

One of the great things was being at the pool and him meeting up with, uh, sharla and and um, rob, robert, yeah, and you know, he him bonding with Robert, you know right, like just hanging out by the pool doing what he wanted to, yeah, and he has the confidence to do that now because, again, I've led by example. I'm super out there. Go get him approachable. I'm going to go have a conversation with doesn't matter who. Like I don't see somebody being more important than me or less important than me. I'm just going to start having a conversation with somebody.

Lane Kennedy: 25:08

So he kind of has that same sense about him and it's just again inviting him into conversations that are challenging that he doesn't want to have. I constantly do that as well and ask him why, like, why are you guys doing that? You wouldn't get it, mom, but tell me more. So I'm constantly kind of asking him to use his brain to think about things so he can express himself, which this generation and these pandemic kids. Their math skills are down. Their reading skills are down, their social academics are down, like everything. So I've been kind of very proactive in supporting him and it's still a challenge.

Lunden Souza: 26:11

Yeah, Tell me more engaging more.

Lane Kennedy: 26:15

Engaging more yeah.

Lunden Souza: 26:16

Like you said, to be that example, I was talking to this guy. I was talking to this guy, brian. We chatted for the podcast on Friday and he just talks. His message is random acts of kindness and just being in the goodness game of just giving and you know and I asked him that too of you know, he has three teenage boys.

Lunden Souza: 26:37

I think he said I'm like, how do you parent that, do you like? And he's like, oh yeah, well, you know, lead by example. And we have like a giving portion of all the money that we bring in that we just do for what they get 10 bucks for allowance. You put a dollar in the giving jar and like we, you know there's just certain things we do, but like you said, um, it's a lot of it is just like yeah, you're with them, day in and day out like be that, and then they'll see that, and then it becomes part of yeah.

Lunden Souza: 27:06

I mean, granted, phones were different too when we first got our phones, but mine was, yeah, 15 or 16, like when I started driving, and so I'm not a parent, but sometimes I think about that because I work with a lot of kids and I'm like, yeah, probably like when you drive, and even now there's like the watches that you can call from or track from, which I think is cool, because then, um, yeah, I remember when we didn't have self or anything and I was probably like mom, I'm going to go into a friend's house, you know, and probably was. I probably was at a friend's house, but maybe not that friend's house, right, Somewhere else.

Lane Kennedy: 27:39

Right, I think there's also. I think about um. In contrast to my life and growing up, um like I was drinking at 16, like I was already starting into my addiction. So you know, am I keeping a tight grip on him? A hundred percent? I am, uh, but I also because of the household that I grew up in and the time that I grew up in. It's very different than it is now. It's like mandatory that we eat all together, like 6.30, we're sitting at the dinner table together. He, one night a week gets to sit by himself. It's like we have a structured life, there's scaffolding in place to support him in his well-being. And I think again, this is by choice that I've done this and it hasn't been convenient at all. I'll just say that. But I also really understand and know my history, my life, and I know other kids that are out there. It's a mess, I'm just going to say it. It's a mess.

Lunden Souza: 28:54

It's fine, but there's also a lot of families that are together and you work with people who see a lot and you know a lot and that's your arena. So so you like the dinner time is like yeah, you're at home, we know where you're at. At 6 30 PM we're winding down for the evening.

Lane Kennedy: 29:09

You're not out and about getting into. Yeah, he has a. He has a bedtime. He's in bed, lights are out by nine, 15, like end of story, where other teenagers right now are going to bed at 10, 11 o'clock and he understands his body rhythm, like he's tapped into that. He understands that when he's on the phone he gets a headache, like his emotional intelligence is tapped in, which, at the end of the day, if that's all I've done, I've won the game here on this one.

Lunden Souza: 29:50

Yeah, yeah, the EQ, yeah, powerful, yeah, so important. Yeah, I'm just as you're talking, I'm thinking about me at that age and, yeah, starting to, like you said, drink and smoke, weed and just more and lots of things.

Lane Kennedy: 30:05

Yeah.

Lunden Souza: 30:06

And my parents also had us in bed at, you know, 8.30.

Lunden Souza: 30:12

We were supposed to be in bed, we had dinner all together and I was also out the window partying a lot. And I share that because and I've talked to my parents openly and honestly about this but it's like the boundaries were there, but I don't think always the communication, it was just like you're not allowed to do anything and nothing, and so I would always want to go to the friend's house that the parents were a little bit more lenient, not to say that was right or wrong, but as a kid that's what I wanted. I just like I feel like maybe the leash was a little bit too tight and I, you know, joke about that with my parents now and we talk about things. So it's, it's all good, but I had that and I was still, like you know, doing all the things and I'm still grateful, looking back now, for that structure and I think that was important for my brain and learning about the developing brain and maybe certain disconnects I had genetically and maybe still do have.

Lunden Souza: 31:08

I really want to get all my testing done with you this is making me think about things but did not have probably as much emotional intelligence as your son and was very impulsive for sure, and that's something that I think now I probably navigate in ways of using mindfulness practices to be less impulsive, but I can see how that, even in my emotional reactions to certain things communication style, areas where I really have to like do a little hug back there and, yeah, yeah, in some instances right, like in your case and people that you work with it becomes like a real, real, real thing that you navigate daily and I just think it's.

Lunden Souza: 31:58

I think Desiree might have commented on one of your posts that you shared about just how people in recovery is just so motivating for her to just see how the moment by moment activation of people in in that space um is. And so I'm sure somebody listening is in recovery or know someone who's in recovery or wants to be in recovery, or maybe this is what they're listening to, to know that it's the next best step for their journey. Like, what's that been like? And, like you said, 15, you were already drinking. I mean, fast forward to the last 10 months. I have known you, like how did that go in your life and how did you find the connections to?

Lane Kennedy: 32:41

Yeah, you know I'm very fast, like I like to do things fast. My nickname was Fast Lane.

Lane Kennedy: 32:52

Life in the Fast Lane yeah just I'm going right and so drinking I did fast, I was messy fast and then when I fell into recovery, this was like the best thing ever and it happened fast. Once I had my last drink I didn't drink again. I'm fortunate enough to say that I got sober through the 12 steps and it stuck with me. And I use the 12 steps because those are spiritual principles and they're principles that I found in Buddhism. They're principles that I found in Christianity. They're principles that I found in Buddhism. They're principles that I found in Christianity. They're principles that I have found in Judaism. They are principles, and so those principles help me survive and thrive in my life and I just continue to go back to them.

Lane Kennedy: 33:48

And a lot of people kind of get hung up on terminology and a lot of people get hung up with Alcoholics Anonymous and a lot of people get hung up on smart recovery and it's just like stop labeling it all. Just find what works for you and do it Like that's it, whatever is going to work for you, and do it Like that's it. Whatever's going to work for you, do it, and as long as you're happy. Right, there's a lot of talk in the recovery communities around you know people die. People die and we don't know it because they're dead, and we don't know it because they're dead and there's a lot of statistics. So why not start changing that conversation around?

Lane Kennedy: 34:42

Being a sober statistic, why not become alcohol-free and change your life? Because what happens as a result of stopping one habit, the action of drinking, your whole life changes, which is so profound to me, and it could be stopping smoking cigarettes, but it's the addictive quality, that addiction. Stopping that one thing, that one behavior, is the domino that changes your whole life, which is profound to me, which is a spiritual. It's again, it goes back to that spiritual act. Everything is spiritual.

Lunden Souza: 35:25

Yeah, yeah, Find what works for you and stick to it. I like when you said it was very fast and then getting recovery, getting in recovery and having that happen fast. It made me think of a close friend of mine. I just remembered she was, yeah, in recovery. Same thing, Just like when she decided. And then she's been sober for a year, I think, maybe over a decade now, and she's like, oh yeah, it's just like. In that moment I just I know like it went from everything to nothing and yeah, she just, and it can be that simple.

Lane Kennedy: 35:57

That is what is so amazing, Lunden, is that it's that decision and you're done. And people get all heady about it and start thinking when thinking is the problem, because addiction is a mental illness which is a thinking problem, and a lot of people don't understand that. They think it's a drinking problem or a smoking problem or a too much sex problem, when in reality it's the thinking, it's the cognition. So if you make a decision, I'm done, then you don't have to ruminate about it anymore.

Lunden Souza: 36:32

Yeah, yeah, make that decision that I'm done, then you don't have to ruminate about it anymore. Yeah, yeah, make that decision that I'm done. A friend of mine one time, when I was not being mindful and not in the present moment, but we love friends like this she snapped in the middle of my face and she goes Lunden. This moment is inevitable. This moment is inevitable and this moment she just kept going we love Trisha, we love friends like Trisha. And just brought me back to that like split second decision moment of just like you're, you know, and it just reminded me in that moment to come back to that. Of course, the snap, just you know, brought me right back to that rhythm and there. But also, you know, brought me back to like hey, you're kind of wasting precious moments.

Lunden Souza: 37:13

You're not here yet, you know, like come back here and, um, you know, remember, it can be that split second decision, and I'm assuming, with recovery, it's multiple bajillions of split second decisions, moment by moment you know and that's kind of bringing you back to the present of no, I'm still choosing this and who I want to be in this moment is this, but the tug of war I always think of, like a Stretch Armstrong, that old, poor boy of like we're over here in the future and in the past and there's a lot of, yeah, generous fertile-ness to the present moment that we get to have. And the thought, like you said, that's not the problem, it's the thought. What's the thought? What was the thought for you? What's the thought that you get to not have anymore or get to reframe?

Lane Kennedy: 38:10

That I need to drink to get through anything that I need to check out, like there's nothing worth checking out anymore, like the present moment is amazing. But I was never taught that there's a bunch of skills that I was just never taught because my parents weren't I mean, they were young hippies that I was just never taught because my parents weren't I mean, they were young hippies. So it's like they didn't know. You know, my grandma didn't know that. Her grandma like it. Just again, it's generational. So that's why, you know, for me and my son it's like I am very present with him. It's intentional on how my husband and I are raising him more so for me, but yeah.

Lunden Souza: 38:56

Yeah, Reminding him of, yeah, like you said, and then with technology and all the things, I mean that's another stretch Armstrong pulling us in different directions yeah, yeah. How many people do you or how like do you work with on a regular basis that you know have gotten sober Like? Do you know the ripple of being um life in the fast lane and now helping people get in their lane? Do you know how many people you've impacted? I feel like you've helped so many people.

Lane Kennedy: 39:26

Thousands, by this time it's thousands. Yeah, it's um. And now that I have the sobriety for dummies book, it's even more so, Right? So it's like it just keeps going and I'm not, like I'm not in charge of that.

Lunden Souza: 39:43

Yeah.

Lane Kennedy: 39:45

Like I just show up and I've served.

Lunden Souza: 39:48

Yeah.

Lane Kennedy: 39:50

Yeah, this is not. This was not the plan, though let me tell you that, like my plan was, I was on my way, you know, fashion modeling.

Lunden Souza: 39:58

That that was the plan like who's sir, like oh yeah, and you were a supermodel, weren't you like who? Like who's serving them?

Lane Kennedy: 40:05

it's not that I forgot, but we're just on that topic, like hello, like and do you sometimes think about?

Lunden Souza: 40:12

I think about this too, because I feel like there's been a lot of cool compartments of my life highs, lows, whatever but you're like oh shit, I had a super ma, I did this, like, like you said, and it's not the plan, it's just like, when you are in that present space, a little dance in very cool directions.

Lane Kennedy: 40:30

Yeah, yeah, I can reflect on my life and just be like that's really cool. I was able to do all that and I didn't die. That's cool.

Lunden Souza: 40:44

I got through all that and, yeah, lived to tell about it. Yeah, and, like you said, a lot of people don't. Why not become the statistic in the other direction? Do you still go to meetings?

Lane Kennedy: 40:58

I do. I do in principle. It's just the principle of service and showing that it's possible. There was a place for me to go when I needed it, so I hold that space for others, yeah.

Lunden Souza: 41:18

I love that, so, so fantastic. The principle of service when can we connect with you even further? We want to do DNA testing. Or you mentioned your book sobriety for dummies. I'm going to link everything in the description, but tell us that part.

Lane Kennedy: 41:36

Everything is at lanekennedycom. I have a mindfulness app, I have the Sobriety for Dummies, I have DNA, all of it lanekennedycom. You can find me there.

Lunden Souza: 41:47

Yay. Thank you so much for this lovely conversation today and thank you guys for listening. I feel like there's so many avenues for listeners just to learn and become more aware of the opportunities that are available for them and ways, like you said, where it's not your fault but you get to do a more specific dance with people that also get to do your specific dance, and I just feel like there's so many ways to plug into what you have and I'm so grateful to know you and I'm excited to keep getting to know you.

Lane Kennedy: 42:21

It's so, it's so amazing, Like I feel like I wake up in the morning now. It's like I'm unpackaging or unwrapping this gift of life and it's like who do I get to play with, who do I get to hang out with, who do I get to meet? Who?

Lunden Souza: 42:34

do I get to play with?

Lane Kennedy: 42:35

Yeah, it's like every day it's new and exciting for me and I just I never want to take that for granted Like that's what living for me is all about. It's like being present and continuing to unwrap that present.

Lunden Souza: 42:49

It's a gift. Thank you for being here, lane. Thank you, guys for listening and we'll see you at the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love and Sweat the Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode or were inspired by it or something resonated with you, do me a favor and share this episode with a friend, someone that you think might enjoy this episode as well. That's the ultimate compliment and the best way to make this podcast ripple out into the world of others, and also you can leave us a review up to five stars wherever you're listening to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you at the next episode. I appreciate you.