In this episode we're going to discuss how to understand different perspectives and why people communicate differently. We had 2 previous guests on the show, Kevin Suber and Megan Arneson. They both said the same thing on their podcast interview, "It wasn't a matter of if I was going to college, but when?" but they meant it in different ways. This really sheds light on how the same words can trigger different emotions and motivations. Kevin saw it as a push towards college; for Megan, it was a reminder of her chosen, different path. It's a fascinating exploration of how we can strive to understand, not just convince.
Welcome to Self Love and Sweat The Podcast, the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I'm your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, have you grabbed your free Self Love and Sweat monthly calendar yet? This calendar is so amazing. It comes right in your inbox every single month to help you have a little nugget of wisdom, a sweaty workout, a mindset activity, just a little something, something to help keep you focused and motivated and keep that momentum towards your goals. So every day, when you get this calendar, you'll see a link that you can click that will lead to a podcast episode or a workout or something that will be very powerful and quick to read. And then you'll also see, on the top left corner of every single day, there's a little checkbox in the calendar and what that is is that's for your one thing. You can choose one thing every month, or it can be the same, something that you want to implement and make this something that you can easily implement, like daily meditation or getting a certain amount of steps or water, for example, and staying hydrated and even taking your supplements. This can be something if you want to get more regular doing a particular habit and routine. You can choose what that checkbox means. So if you want your Self Love and Sweat free monthly calendar delivered right to your inbox every month on the first of the month, go to lifelikelunden. com/ calendar, fill out the form really quickly and you will have your calendar in your inbox within a few short minutes. That's lifelikelunden L-I-F-E-L-I-K-E-L-U-N-D-E-N dot com forward slash calendar. Go, get yours for free and enjoy this episode. Happy today and welcome back to the podcast.
Lunden Souza:
Today we have another quick mindset reset, which means this is going to be a very quick episode just to help you kind of switch your perspective a little bit, have a little insight that can just kind of give us a little mindset boost or give us something to think about. So today I want to talk about different models of the world, despite using the same words, and the inspiration for this episode actually came from two specific episodes that I had on the podcast. One of them was on leadership, with Kevin Suber, and the other one was about was called Fuck the Hustle with Megan Arneson, and it was so interesting because I had them on. I think we did the recordings a few months ago, but I had them on pretty close together and in the interview they both said the exact same thing, except for their model of the world, about what they said was different, and so I'll just preframe this by saying that, at least in my model of the world, I don't think it's our job to make people think the same things that we do. I don't think it's our job to judge what people say or judge others models of the world. I just think it's so interesting and so cool to observe and understand communication with other people, and so the particular phrase that was said in both of those conversations was it wasn't a matter of if I was going to college, but when. And they both said that in the interview. But because they're different people, different models of the world, different experiences, different ways that they were raised, it meant very different things for them.
Lunden Souza:
So Kevin Suber on the podcast on leadership, he was sharing about how he was one of the first people in his family to go to college and how, if I remember correctly, he had a teacher or a mentor in his life that reminded him that it's not a matter of if I go to college, but when, and he really highlighted in that episode he was like, yeah, Lunden. It wasn't a matter for me of if I was going to go to college, it was a matter of when I was going to go to college. And for him that was so empowering, that was motivating, that gave him momentum, that allowed him to see a potential future that he didn't really see modeled in other people that he was around in his life. And so for him he was like oh yeah, I'm going to college. It's not a matter of if but when. And in Megan's case, when her and I were talking, her message is really yeah, fuck the hustle and going from hustle to flow and not really needing to do all the things all the time, coming from a corporate background. And in her family she said this in the interview she goes.
Lunden Souza:
In my family it wasn't a matter of if you go to college, but when. So in her model of the world she said the exact same thing, but it was really like, okay, I'm just expected to follow suit, I'm just expected to do the same thing that others in my family have done. And for her it was just kind of more like, okay, you can't tell me what to do, like just because this is what everybody else has done historically in our family line or whatever doesn't mean that I need to do it too. And so I remember I can't remember who I interviewed first I think it was Megan first and then it was Kevin and I just remember listening in the interviews because I love doing the podcast, I love talking on my own, absolutely, but I learned so much from the amazing guests that we have on the show, and so it was really wonderful to have that kind of awareness while I was doing the recording, because I was like, oh, they said the exact same thing, but it actually meant very different things in their model of the world. I would imagine that it felt different physically in their body too, like the kinesthetic feeling that they get in their body when they say that probably feels different too.
Lunden Souza:
And so I think, in this quick mindset reset, it's important to understand that people have different models of the world and we might say the same thing but mean something completely different. And that's why I think connection over convincing is so important in communication, and that's something I share in my course. Level up your language, level up your life, how to go from talker to communicator is. It's not about convincing someone else about your point of view, it's about connection. And so, listening to some of those nuances in communication of the way it was said, right? So in Kevin's, in Kevin's expression, it was like it's not a matter of if I go to college, but when, and for me, again, it was like it wasn't a matter of if I go to college, but when, right, and you hear the difference in my tone of voice, you hear the difference in the models of the world and I just think it's really powerful to think about and to understand.
Lunden Souza:
It's about connection, it's not about convincing, and the beautiful thing is that we get to be, if we choose, connected with people who have different models of the world. Right, I think that's one of the most beautiful things ever is to not feel like we have to only connect with or only communicate with people who believe the same thing, have the same points of view, have the same model of the world. I really challenge you to, you know, go out and connect with people who maybe think, believe and express differently, right, as long as it's not something that's, you know, you're allowing to bring you down. Or I'm not saying go out and, you know, befriend all the negative Nancy's who are saying all these things that, like, don't resonate with the vibration that you want to be at. But, at the same time, when you go out into the world, now that you've listened to this podcast, listen to what people say and how they say it. You know it's so interesting.
Lunden Souza:
I love paying attention to words. That's what I do with my one on one clients. I ask a lot of questions to really get people to unpack and to understand, like, okay, your words really reflect the deep structure, your model of the world and if that's empowering for you, wonderful. If not, there's some profound tools that we can utilize in order to help you shift your language, shift your mindset, shift your nervous system response, in order to live a more empowering life, the life that you want. So that's it for today's quick mindset reset. I just wanted you to pay attention and think about that, and maybe there's some people in your family and in your friend group where you're like oh yeah, they're actually saying the same words out loud, but the meaning and the nuance of the language is actually very, very different. So that's it for today's quick mindset reset. I hope you have a beautiful day and remember that communication is about connection, not about convincing. Hey, really quick.
Lunden Souza:
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Lunden Souza:
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Lunden Souza:
Now let's get back to the show. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of self love and sweat the podcast. Hey, do me a favor Wherever you're listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I'm only one person and with your help, we can really spread the message of self love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I'm Lunden Souza, reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose, fueled by self love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot. Austria production.